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When a wedding is split 50/50
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 8:47 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Not really. Small checks, crystal things like candy holder, glasses, etc, friends/siblings may chip in and give a table centerpiece or clock but it isn't really a thing.

We get married with all housewares, furniture, curtains and many chandelier as well. Most people get a food processor, but not everyone gets a vacuum. If you have a bunch of close friends, they may ask if you need a vaccuum or a lamp, poperis, etc.


Are you chassidish? So parents are expected to cough up everything a couple needs to live plus wedding costs plus extra gifts. That gets expensive I’m sure!
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 9:36 pm
I'm chassidish. Amother mauve is saying things that don't reflect my reality. I didn't get a pocketbook or a colorful tichel and I don't remember what else was written that the kallah gets. Not my DH nor any of the men in mine or DH's families received a megilla as a chosson. Some got a Pesach set and some didn't and same is with machzorim. None of us get chandeliers and most didn't get food processors.

I've gotten DH many gifts over the years for all kinds of occasions, some already mentioned on this thread and other unmentionable. All the other women in mine and DH's families also gift their husbands, as do most of my friends.

Regardless of the particulars, I agree with the overall sentiment that the gifting has gone overboard.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 9:48 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
Are you chassidish? So parents are expected to cough up everything a couple needs to live plus wedding costs plus extra gifts. That gets expensive I’m sure!


Yes it is very very expensive.
I feel like each couple should just make chasuna themselves and pay back the Gamach rather than parents doing it so many times, unless the parents can afford it of course.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:29 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
I said some do chandeliers, less do vaccuums. My family does window treatments but no vaccuum.
Everyone does a food processor.

Wait, what??
Chandeliers?
Why does a 20 year old couple who just got married need or want a chandelier?
I mean suitcases I can sort of understand. A young couple that’s going away for every Shabbat and YT need a suitcase, but a chandelier?? Even real furniture I sort of get.

I’m not exactly sure what window treatments are, is that just a fancy name for curtains or blinds?
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WeAreOne




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 4:53 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I feel the same way I am a few years away and can't imagine how I can make this happen.. I'm thinking of saying I have x amount available to give to the couple and that's it figure it out from there backyard wedding and done!


This is what we did for my son's wedding. We told them what our budget was and they had to make everything fit into that. They (the couple) get to choose what they want to splurge on (e.g. furniture, photographer, etc..).
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 5:18 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Yes it is very very expensive.
I feel like each couple should just make chasuna themselves and pay back the Gamach rather than parents doing it so many times, unless the parents can afford it of course.

What *is* a baby book of chosson? I am curious. Never heard about it.
As I am Litvish and in israel I am kind of fascinated how different the how things are made in different circles and I respect that.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 5:35 am
chanchy123 wrote:
Wait, what??
Chandeliers?
Why does a 20 year old couple who just got married need or want a chandelier?


This. That is just plain weird.
Why would a young couple need fancy lighting the first week they are married? I mean, really?
Plus a chandelier is a bulky, labor intensive thing to move, and most 20 year olds I know will be moving at least once if not more in the first few years of their marriage.

And what's the point of buying fancy lighting? A young couple's taste will probably change over the next few years, and who wants to be stuck forever with a chandelier that Aunt Tova bought and you can't get rid of without insulting her?
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