Vort flowers spin off

amother

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 2:47 pm

I think the whole flowers for the vort thing is a big waste of money.
Kallah gets a nice bouquet that costs a fortune and goes in the garbage 2 weeks later (if your lucky Laugh

). I remember looking at my flowers (that I had no interest in) very sadly thinking of the hundreds of dollars wilting on my table.
I would have so much more appreciated getting a gift that I could actually use long term. I wish the trend could change.

Wondering what your thoughts are.

watergirl

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 2:50 pm

I agree with you. Like I said in the other thread, this is not something I have seen. If all of these things were cut out, it would be such an easy and painless way to save thousands. If you must have the flowers, I'm sure there are gmachs out there with beautiful silk arrangements for loan for vorts and other similar occasions.

SuperWify

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 3:54 pm

Ha! As soon as I saw that thread I thought- it won’t take long for a spin-off lol.

Although I do agree with you. Add the extra $$ to her bracelet which should last a lot longer iyH.

Crookshanks

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 5:09 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I love and appreciate flowers and I think it adds so much to an event.

And they make a beautiful background for pictures.

amother

Peach

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 5:21 pm

The kallah gets a bouquet? Do you mean on the table?

I like the table bouquet because it is collected for from community friends (completely voluntary, nobody calls them) and by me, your friends are not determined by your income level. So no matter how much you spent on the rest of the vort, everyone ends up with something respectable. It beautifies the room without the baalei simcha paying, and the mechutanim see a community that cares about their new family members. As do the chassan and kallah.

yksraya

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 5:22 pm

I know there are some wonderful kallahs who tell the boys mother beforehand that they don't need to buy x y or z (wtvr is to them not necessary), even if it's the standard to buy it. This is how standards change. So if your child is in shiduchim, or engaged, let them communicate to the mechutanim with what they really don't mind not getting.

People think that not getting/giving something, will make them look cheap etc. But really if it's not necessary to the Chosson/Kallah, the mechutanim will only appreciate it.

Having to follow "the standard" 100% just because it's the standard, is peer pressure.

amother

Tan

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 5:55 pm

I didn't read the other thread. 8 years ago we paid somewhere near 150 and got more bang for the buck by doing flat on one side.

amother

cornflower

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 6:46 pm

I totally agree with you!
Spending hundreds of dollars on flowers for one night is absurd.
But I wasn't told to do it just like everyone else so we did....

amother

Silver

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 6:57 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Ha! As soon as I saw that thread I thought- it won’t take long for a spin-off lol.

Although I do agree with you. Add the extra $$ to her bracelet which should last a lot longer iyH.

Extra money that most people don’t even have

amother

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 7:40 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I love and appreciate flowers and I think it adds so much to an event.

Of course flowers add tons!
What usually happens though, is that there are already 101 bouquets of flowers on the tables paid for by the kallah's side who is making the vort. It's part of the whole decor. Then, in addition there is one huge $300-$400 bouquet standing off to the side which comes from the chosson. That is the bouquet that is unnecessary, at least in my opinion.

amother

Purple

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 7:44 pm

I am not part of this community, so no vort flowers or obligatory bracelet here. I am perfectly happy for people to spend money on things that make them happy, but I do hope this stuff doesn't figure into the "it's so expensive to be frum" argument. Tuition, yes. Living in a Jewish neighborhood, yes. Kosher food, yes. A thousand dollars for flowers? A thousand times no.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 10:36 pm

yksraya wrote:

yes, my dh did this. told my parents not to buy him watch.

essie14

Fri, Apr 16 2021, 4:51 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Agree 100%.
I do enjoy flowers but rarely buy them because they die so quickly.
I would never spend more than $100 on flowers for a party, never more than $25 once in a while for shabbat flowers for myself and probably never for my child's wedding. Silk flowers are beautiful for a simcha.

amother

Red

Fri, Apr 16 2021, 7:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not in our circles. By us, the only flowers at a vort are those that the michetunim sent. The Kallah side does not buy flowers.