Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
An observation about spender/saver in a marriage



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 9:56 am
I was having a conversation with a friend on Shabbos and she was telling me that before yt her husband was pushing to buy herself new clothes and shoes bec she is very cheap on herself and buys for everyone else but can’t splurge on her own stuff. I was nodding my head during this whole conversation bec my husband is the same way. I asked her if her husband is the bigger spender in her marriage and she said yes. It’s the same by me.
I’m wondering - if your husband is a bigger spender, does he push you to buy yourself stuff? Regardless if weather you can afford the thing or not?
If your the bigger spender, does your husband complain about your spending habits? Regardless of weather u can afford the things or not?
I know it’s a nature- being a spender or a saver - but who earns more in your marriage?
Back to top

amother
Blush


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 10:02 am
Dh is the bigger spender and is always pushing me to get myself things.
Bh we can afford it.
I hate spending money.
My question is, if I couldn’t afford it would I want to buy more, but since I know I can get anything I don’t feel I need it?
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 10:05 am
Same DH is the spender and pushes me to buy for myself.
BH we can afford it.
Is it to lessen the “guilt “ about spending on himself?
Is it an attitude that money is for spending and enjoying?
Is it because he wants me to look nice?
Is that this is how he is happy and wants me to be happy because this is how he relates ?
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 10:10 am
Dh is the spender. I am the saver. He tells me to buy nice stuff. We can afford it but at this point in our life I think it is wiser to save/invest money. I tell him you spent so much on wine and meat and that makes me feel bad to spend even more on top of that!
Back to top

amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 10:15 am
Neither of us are big spenders relative to others, but I am the bigger spender of the two of us.

I don't push him to buy for himself. My MIL buys him new clothes. She likes to do that because she likes shopping and also because he would just keep wearing old things forever otherwise.

He complains about my spending, but it's good natured. It's very rare for him to seriously push back on a purchase.

We both earn in the six figures, enough that either could afford for the other to quit working.
Back to top

amother
Aubergine


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 11:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I was having a conversation with a friend on Shabbos and she was telling me that before yt her husband was pushing to buy herself new clothes and shoes bec she is very cheap on herself and buys for everyone else but can’t splurge on her own stuff. I was nodding my head during this whole conversation bec my husband is the same way. I asked her if her husband is the bigger spender in her marriage and she said yes. It’s the same by me.
I’m wondering - if your husband is a bigger spender, does he push you to buy yourself stuff? Regardless if weather you can afford the thing or not?
If your the bigger spender, does your husband complain about your spending habits? Regardless of weather u can afford the things or not?
I know it’s a nature- being a spender or a saver - but who earns more in your marriage?


I am the earner. I also am naturally probably the spender, but dh doesn't push me to spend money, he wants to save all of it for future expenses
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Pls help me get passed this it's effecting my marriage
by amother
32 Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:31 am View last post
Should I pressure or bring up topic of marriage with 21yo
by amother
42 Mon, Feb 12 2024, 4:58 pm View last post
Marriage is like
by amother
12 Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:18 am View last post
WWYD - 3rd marriage: would you go?
by amother
31 Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:21 am View last post
Tacky marriage quotes 9 Mon, Dec 04 2023, 8:48 pm View last post