Do you know geirim and BTs in real life?

Twinster

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:20 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

Imamothers never cease to amaze me with their insularity, and lack of embarrassment at this insularity. And by the insensitivity. How would a giyoret or BT feel when she reads such a poll? Probably not too great.

Maybe OP is a BT or giyores and wondering if the people around her know.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:22 am

I mean, half my family consists of geirim and BT, and that's just family, not even including friends and people in my community. Honestly, I would find it very strange if someone didn't know a single ger or BT at all.

JoyInTheMorning

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:23 am

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I checked off that I know geirim and bts because I met many of them when I lived oot.

But now that I live in Lakewood I really don’t know whether someone is or isn’t. It’s not something that’s discussed.

I'm happy that people in my community are open about it. One is not supposed to remind a BT or ger of their previous life, but if they want to talk about it and share their experiences, that's great. I am sorry that in some communities they're made to feel that it's something that isn't spoken about.

SuperWify

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:25 am

Yesterday my Christian hairdresser (she’s a doll btw and I love her) told me about her cousin who converted to Judaism. She asked me if that makes him a less-than Jew. I said absolutely not! G-d loves coverts. It says in our Bible we must love them extra.

JoyInTheMorning

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:25 am

Twinster wrote:

Maybe OP is a BT or giyores and wondering if the people around her know.

If that's the case, I'm sorry OP has been made to feel that people around her are insular and unwelcoming of differences in background.

Twinster

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:28 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

If that's the case, I'm sorry OP has been made to feel that people around her are insular and unwelcoming of differences in background.

Is that how you see it?

Notsobusy

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:51 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

I know quite a few BTs and some geirim here in Lakewood. Some are more open about it than others, but I feel like that's more of a personal choice. I don't see that the BTs and geirim are treated any different or are excluded in any way.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:53 am

Funny girl. Both my parents are BTs and both DH's are geirei tzedek. My best friend and her DH are both BTs. And there are so many more who I know...of course many less geirim than BTs but still.

miami85

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:56 am

My husband is a BT, and I had 2 classmates growing up who themselves converted along with their families, and I know several friends in my adult-life and acquaintances who were megayer.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:56 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

Why are you so angry?

mynameismom

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:03 am

My parents are both baalei teshuva and my husband is a get tzedek. It's hard for me to imagine that there are many people who have never met a BT or a ger. I don't even know if I could easily count how many I know.

simcha2

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:03 am

Notsobusy wrote:

When it comes to shidduchim, they certainly can be.

amother

Linen

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:06 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

I'm a giyoret and I just found this poll mildly amusing. Comes to think of it, everyone I know knows at least one ger (me! It's a logical conundrum). Never met people who haven't LOL

amother

Pewter

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:10 am

What are we some type of aliens? LOL

I’m a geyoris but most people think I’m a BT bc my father was Jewish and I look very Jewish, whatever that means.

I truly believe that hashem is especially watching out for me, as the Torah says, and although I live in a yeshivish community I haven’t had any issues. I had an easy time with shidduchim, getting my kids into school etc. I guess there must be some close minded people who see me as less than, but I prefer to spend most of my time with people who follow the Torah so no worries on that Smile

Notsobusy

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:15 am

simcha2 wrote:

When it comes to shidduchim, they certainly can be.

That's true, I think it's harder for the BT or ger themself, but their children have an easier time. Most of the families I know have kids who married into FFB families.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:17 am

Welll, one of my parents is a ger.

Growing up many of my classmates had parents who were BTs.

Never had issues getting married bh nor did my siblings. One of my husbands parent is a BT.

Looking into shidduchim now for my kids and would actually prefer someone who is from a similar background. This is for many reasons but one is that occasionally you do meet FFBs who think that weirdly they are better people because their ancestry is all frum.

essie14

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:27 am

My father , his siblings and many of his cousins are BT. I also was involved in kiruv since I was a teenager so I know about a thousand BTs, at least. A lot of my friends' parents in my community where I grew up were BTs. Our neighbor was a ger as well as a few others in our community.
My community where I live now is a huge mix, there are many gerim and tons of BTs, as well as FFbs.

amother

Oak

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:30 am

This is weird because I considered myself open minded and have friends from many communities... but come to think of it, I don't think I know any baalei teshuva IRL. Unless you count all my amother friends on here Smile

I was friends with a giyores at one point (I've moved since) but no BTs. And I know another ger that is part of our community (I think his wife is a BT, but I can't count it as I don't know them personally)

I'm literally shaking my head right now. I can't believe I never thought about this. I'd be thrilled to get to know and befriend any gerim or BTs (or FFBs) I guess it just never happened? So weird.

To put this into context, I've lived in the tristate area large Jewish communities my whole life, and also, I'm chassidish.

ETA: Also! I know someone who grew up frum, (so I didn't think about it before) but she was megayer as a little girl when her family was megayer.