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Do you know geirim and BTs in real life?
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Poll

Do you know geirim and BTs in real life?
I don't know any geirim or BTs personally  
 3%  [ 11 ]
I know 1 ger but no BTs  
 0%  [ 1 ]
I know 1 BT but no geirim  
 0%  [ 3 ]
I know a few geirim but not BTs  
 0%  [ 3 ]
I know a few BTs but not geirim  
 8%  [ 27 ]
I know both geirim and BTs personally  
 84%  [ 254 ]
Other  
 0%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 301


cbsp




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 1:14 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Must be the same story but heard it slightly differently-
Rebbe asked man which yeshiva he's learning in. He replied "name of yeshiva" which was a yeshiva popular with bt's and said I'm learning there but I'm not a baal tshuva. Rebbe pointedly asked, "farvooss nisht?"


You are correct. That was the version I heard, just forgot the full details. Same point, though.

I guess I need chazarah after 20 years - think my tapes still work? LOL
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 1:16 pm
Crookshanks wrote:
That's not necessarily true. When I meet people, I don't generally grill them on their family background. Little kids do not run around yelling, my parents are BTs! And family background just doesn't come up that much in my day to day life.


If you were someone I knew casually, you would probably know, because I’m from a place with no frum community. Plus, if my parents or in-laws visited , you’d see they aren’t frum or aren’t Jewish.
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 1:34 pm
Crookshanks wrote:
That's not necessarily true. When I meet people, I don't generally grill them on their family background. Little kids do not run around yelling, my parents are BTs! And family background just doesn't come up that much in my day to day life.

Of course not, but you do know your friends’ family members, at least casually. Think about what random details you know about your friends and neighbors. What city they grew up in, what schools they attended, what their parents do do a living, tons of stuff that are part of who they are and who they have become. It would be weird for me not to know anything about my friends’ background. I’ve had so many neighbors just pour their life stories on me in the park or giving them a ride or at the Shabbat table. I don’t think I’m special like that that people feel free to just tell me about their families.
I guess it’s also easier that BTs in my community feel free to say: I didn’t grow up with XYZ can you explain it to me? We also have quite a few olim - I often think of olim in similar terms as BTs and geirim (of course there are many who are both) because they are outsiders in a similar way.
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amother




Ginger
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 1:52 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Must be the same story but heard it slightly differently-
Rebbe asked man which yeshiva he's learning in. He replied "name of yeshiva" which was a yeshiva popular with bt's and said I'm learning there but I'm not a baal tshuva. Rebbe pointedly asked, "farvooss nisht?"


The principal of Bnos chava told us a parent called him and was concerned his dd would be influenced on the neve campus. He told the father - do you want Me to make sure she doesn’t become a Baal tshuva?
I heard the story from him 20 yrs ago.
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andrea levy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 1:59 pm
I am BT and know plenty of geirim. AMA
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southernbubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 2:08 pm
There are people in my neighborhood that probably don't know very many BTs and geirum, or who maybe don't know any at all.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 2:23 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Why are you so angry?


I am FFB but let me try to explain how I felt when reading the title of this thread:
Imagine someone starts a poll about something that is relevant to you. Say, you have green eyes. "Poll: How many people do you know who have green eyes/are redheads/lefties?" Your immediate thought is going to be, hey, someone thinks I am unique enough to start a poll about it". Now, add any possible negative comment you have ever had the misfortune to encounter, and think about how this question might make you feel. Now add to that issues that come up in society, or previous threads in Imamother ("would you let your son marry a redhead?") And think about if maybe this poll doesn't make someone feel warm and fuzzy. You are singling them out in what looks like an innocent poll and making other Jews feel like outsiders.
That's why I got angry, anyway.
My best friend is a geir. I have green eyes. My sister is a redhead. DH is a leftie. So what?
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amother




Ginger
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 2:53 pm
I guess I see it as being something beyond being born with it.
You didn’t accomplish or work for anything to have blue eyes or be a leftie.
I feel like someone who became a BT or ger worked or struggled. It is something to admire. I don’t think I’d have that type of gevurah. It’s not something to treat diff bec of it. But I can still look up to it.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 2:56 pm
I grew up OOT in a community that focused on outreach. I know tons of BTs and Geirim and I myself helped be Mekarev a close childhood friend (and no I'm not bragging about it, I'm staying it as fact. It's what happened). So yeah I know plenty of them and am happy to know people who chose to act as Yidden. There is a place high up in Heaven for them!
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:42 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
I guess I see it as being something beyond being born with it.
You didn’t accomplish or work for anything to have blue eyes or be a leftie.
I feel like someone who became a BT or ger worked or struggled. It is something to admire. I don’t think I’d have that type of gevurah. It’s not something to treat diff bec of it. But I can still look up to it.


The issue is that some ffb people want us to inspire them by sharing our personal stories etc. But they’re just that- personal. And nobody is obligated to share personal things because it may inspire someone else. I have been asked very probing questions but when I hesitate to respond im told “but I think you’re amazing! How cool!”

Then to add insult to injury, those same people would never be meshadech me (it’s mutual lol).

I’m not say you’re like this, just that it’s a common sentiment and definitely problematic
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:49 pm
My parents and in laws are BTs. I have a few good friends who are geirim, one of my neighbors is a ger but she hides it or her kids would get kicked out of school.

I'm also friends with Nissim Black's wife. She lives a few blocks away.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:52 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
My parents and in laws are BTs. I have a few good friends who are geirim, one of my neighbors is a ger but she hides it or her kids would get kicked out of school.

I'm also friends with Nissim Black's wife. She lives a few blocks away.

😱😱😱😱
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:56 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
My parents and in laws are BTs. I have a few good friends who are geirim, one of my neighbors is a ger but she hides it or her kids would get kicked out of school.

I'm also friends with Nissim Black's wife. She lives a few blocks away.


Why would they get kicked out of school? Are they in a Syrian school?
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:58 pm
Bruh yes I would go meet someone new with a friend l or go with a friend to a simcha or someone’s house, this friend would gush and gush about my background. I’m OPEN to sharing my story! But when people are expecting me to tell it right away. It also happened at that mommy baby place I went to after I had my son. Idk who told the receptionist I was a geyoires, but she told me “maybe you can tell your story on shabbos!” I declined veeery subtly lol. Sorry but I’m not a monkey in a zoo. BLARGH!

ETA that I meant to quote somebody but idk my phones being weird lately.


Last edited by Hashem_n_Farfel on Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 3:59 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
My parents and in laws are BTs. I have a few good friends who are geirim, one of my neighbors is a ger but she hides it or her kids would get kicked out of school.

I'm also friends with Nissim Black's wife. She lives a few blocks away.


Whoa. What! Why would a school kick out these children 😟
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:27 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Whoa. What! Why would a school kick out these children 😟


Because they're fools, whom like to make up rules so they can feel more exclusive or better than others.

This is not a universal policy. You'll find it in some schools in haredi and hassidic communities. It's does not exist in Dati Leumi communities, OOT etc.

It's terrible, and should be universally denounced by rabbanim. Every Jewish child deserves to go to a Jewish school.
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:28 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Bruh yes I would go meet someone new with a friend l or go with a friend to a simcha or someone’s house, this friend would gush and gush about my background. I’m OPEN to sharing my story! But when people are expecting me to tell it right away. It also happened at that mommy baby place I went to after I had my son. Idk who told the receptionist I was a geyoires, but she told me “maybe you can tell your story on shabbos!” I declined veeery subtly lol. Sorry but I’m not a monkey in a zoo. BLARGH!

ETA that I meant to quote somebody but

idk my phones being weird lately.


This made me laugh out loud. Thank you for putting it so well! Heart
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:35 pm
Rappel wrote:
Because they're fools, whom like to make up rules so they can feel more exclusive or better than others.

This is not a universal policy. You'll find it in some schools in haredi and hassidic communities. It's does not exist in Dati Leumi communities, OOT etc.

It's terrible, and should be universally denounced by rabbanim. Every Jewish child deserves to go to a Jewish school.

I do not understand why someone would want to be in a community where she has to hide being a convert.
Why doesn't that mother put her kids in a school that appreciates them?
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:45 pm
essie14 wrote:
I do not understand why someone would want to be in a community where she has to hide being a convert.
Why doesn't that mother put her kids in a school that appreciates them?


I also know BTs who join such communities, their kids are never truly accepted and it’s not fair.
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Thu, Apr 22 2021, 4:50 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Why would they get kicked out of school? Are they in a Syrian school?


Chassidish.
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