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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

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amother

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 9:39 pm

I'm in my 40s.
Im 65 lbs overweight. This is weight I gained in my last pregnancy and never lost (I gained over 80 during pregnancy because I was at a normal weight at the start). I have never been this overweighy, though my "normal" for the last 10 years is 30-40 lbs overweight.
I know every dieting style and trick in the book. I have read many books and know all the theories.
Honestly, I think almost every diet can work. You just have to work it.
I seem to have no will left .
I really, really want to lose this weight. I look and feel awful.
But I cant seem to get out of this rut.
Often I will wake up and say, this is the day. I will do it. But by mid-afternoon, I have fallen off the wagon. Sometimes I last a day or two...
I hate to think that I am a lost case. I have tried diet bets, committing to a friend, weight watchers, stopping to eat before 7, and many many other things to get me on track and motivated.
I am still nursing but my baby is 15 minths and is not getting much nourishment from me. I think its mostly for comfort.
Can anyone help me get out of this rut???

amother

Brunette

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:19 pm

Unfortunately nothing will stick without your own motivation. You need to commit to your why. Will the chocolate or ice cream or cookies you want taste better than the way you want to look? Will that second portion make you feel healthier or stronger? Your reasons to lose weight must outweigh your desire to eat. There is help for emotional eating but you first need to realize that you need to change your lifestyle forever. Your habits must change to snacking on vegetables, not chips, for life. As you age, your metabolism slows. Weight loss isn't a one time diet. It is how to incorporate lasting changes. Exercise every day even if that means for you 5 squats or jumping jacks and then you're done. Drink more. It means making small choices every single day.

amother

Green

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:03 pm

I like the concept of adding, not subtracting.
Add more fresh fruits and vegetables to your diet
Add exercise in small increments. Think pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. One minute of exercise=1 penny, 5 minutes=nickel, etc. keep a change jar and drop in coins every time you exercise.
Make a list of 10 things you can do first before reaching for a snack. Don’t tell yourself you can’t have the snack. Just say, yeah yeah you can have the snack later.

Throw away the scale. Don’t look in the mirror. This isn’t about looking good. It’s about picking up good habits that will stay with you for life.

amother

Blue

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:08 pm

OP- I have been in your shoes and I can tell you what worked for me is Bright Line Eating. Until I found it I could not figure out why I kept sabotaging myself. It’s. Really wholesome program that focuses on healing your brain and habits and is very therapeutic.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 11:33 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Is this like an oa program?

amother

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:23 am

Thank you ladies.
I appreciate all the answers

amother

Maroon

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:28 am

OA- overeaters anonymous is the only real solution. I'm the same as you OP but right now I'm so grateful. It's hard to start and get into it but worth everything....

amother

Mustard

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:29 am

For me the issue is motivation too.
It’s hard to do it - it’s even harder because once you make the decision to change, I feel like there should be immediate results. But there aren’t.

Intermittent fasting helped me for a nice while until I got re-addicted to chocolate. Then the motivation disappears.

amother

Seashell

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:36 am

The problem is the diet mentality where you "fall off the wagon" and have broken your diet. Every choice matters.

Jewishmom8

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:41 am

you are not alone op
I am back on my latest plan and its hard.
I find its helps to have lots of healthy food choices that you like in the house
yummy summer fruit. diet ice cream. air popped pop corn. whatever you like so that when you want something you have options.
This is and probably will continue to be a lifelong issue I have to deal with.

amother

Teal

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 5:21 am

I've been there too. Ive tried many diets an oa. I found oa wasnt good for me. I also did intuitive eating and I gained weight.
I began a diet program with groups 6 months ago. Its accountability with lots of discussion during the weekly in person meeting.
It works on 5 meals a day with a lot of choices.
Ive begun to exercise a lot.
The weight has been coming off.
The program never makes you feel like a failure.
Find a program that works for you.

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 7:08 am

Not necessarily suggesting you go this route but bariatric surgery changed my life. And sure gave me the motivation I always lacked.

amother

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 9:06 am

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

The problem is the diet mentality where you "fall off the wagon" and have broken your diet. Every choice matters.

I think this is basically my problem. I make a poor choice and then I continue making bad choices because I alreasy fell.off, so why not? Like a took a cookie and then I'll purposely quickly eat another 5, kind of to numb the guilty feeling. Sad

amother

Green

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:19 pm

I'm trying the eat like a Jew diet.

It involves:

Only eat sitting down. (As written in Shulchan Aruch.)

Say bracha with kavanah. Say brachah acharona and benching from a siddur and really think about what I'm saying.

While eating, really try to taste the flavors of the food and savor it with appreciation for Hashem who created it. Think about the words of bentching. Think about what it means to eat, be satisfied and bentch Hashem.

Eat to nourish my soul and body.

I don't weigh myself or spend much time looking in the mirror. I'm trying to change my eating habits for the sake of my body and soul, to live long and feel well, not because I want to look good, fit into my clothes or impress other people.

I don't want to sound like I'm preaching or living in lala land. I also went through many different diets and eating programs with variable success. Then I realized that the real answer to our eating problem is staring us right in the face. It's time for us to USE the tools we already have!

amother

Taupe

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:24 pm

Please run this by your doctor.

My therapist recommended I look at getting a stimulant for extra energy, and my doctor gave me Aderal. It’s also an appetite suppressant for most people and helped me lose those last points I’d been struggling with.

Chana Miriam S

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:11 pm

I understand your frustration. I suffered for a long time (45 years) before I found what worked for me.

For me, knowledge wasn’t enough, ten years of OA wasn’t enough. Optifast wasn’t enough, and all the other programs weren’t enough.

I had to get rid of all the sugars, sweeteners, grains and starches plus processed foods.

Also, while I have lost and am Maintaining large weight loss, I still have more to lose and have been stalled for quite some time because my willingness to do anything to destabilize is limited.

I recently read an article that first, suggested a goal of no more than 5% of body weight loss as a good guideline, but also another article suggested anything that you can do to keep from becoming worse off is more important than losing even.

All the articles I’m reading are suggesting that long term goals are more important than short term goals and that sustainable eating is most important.

All the articles agree that avoiding sugar, processed grains and excess fruit are important while also suggesting high density nutrient foods and eating more vegetables. Your mileage may vary. Excess veg is an issue for me personally but among the spectrum of nutrition research, these appear to be the most common themes.

For me, personally, I could not get and dtay Stable til I took the carbs out ( I’d already dropped sweeteners 15 years before) and suddenly all the cravings went away. If you do choose to go low carb, remember the salt that you need to avoid ‘keto flu’ and I’ll be happy to send you the nsng PDF if you pm me your email.

Based on your description, I think making your goals not getting worse off might be smart and sustainable. Especially with your knowledge.

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