My husband won't invest

amother

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 6:40 pm

At all.
We have no retirement plans. This scares the heck out of me.
I have brought this up to him a million times but he likes his money where he can "see it".
This is the stupidest thing ever. We would have so much more money if he would agree to invest years ago, money grows albeit slowly when invested. The same money loses value due to inflation over time.
He's just not convinced. And he doesn't want to speak to a financial advisor. And I don't know enough to take this on myself (I'm actually terrible with numbers and details).
His job doesn't have a 401k.
I don't work.

I just hate that we're being stupid with money because of his fears, lack of trust in others, in the market etc.

Ps please don't waste your breathe explaining to me that we should set up Roth IRA a etc. I know. I'm asking how to get him to agree and feel ok with it. We're not young I literally don't get what we will do when he doesn't have his job anymore.
Pps when I bring it up to him he tells me I'm stressing him out.

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 7:41 pm

Can you ask him, as a chessed for you, for your menuchas hanefesh, to set up a roth ira?
It's quite limited. Only6k per person per year.
Maybe explaining that it's limited will help him?
(and then invest in S&P500!!!)

If you do 6k for each of you per year, within 5 years, you could have set aside $60000. That would be amazing.

Are there friends or family members that can talk to him about investments?

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to?
Is it (misplaced?) emunah?
Is it something his parents never did and he wasn't recorded to?
Is he just chilled?
Is he petrified of losing money?

amother

Mauve

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 7:59 pm

1. Log onto vanguard
2. Create an account
3. Transfer a bit of money in
4. Follow these steps to create a Roth IRA https://www.biglawinvestor.com.....ount/
5. Show your husband the account and how easy it is for him to see the money, the same way he would if it were in a regular bank account
6. Hopefully he’s on board.

amother

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 8:49 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Um did you read my post? He's not on board. My question is how to get him on board.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 9:02 pm

Send him a clip from Dave Ramsey. If he’s not interested, you listen to clips from him when you’re around him and I guarantee you he’ll be interested too. He is a money genius and his method is all about keeping it simple. He explains things like investing so simply and clearly.

amother

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 9:26 pm

I think he's afraid of markets crashing and losing our money, or using up our money and not having enough savings in case of whatever.

He's not opposed to saving, he's opposed to investing savings.

Dave Ramsey oversimplifies and exaggerates when it comes to actual numbers and dividends. I do listen to him. We're stuck in "step 4" because my husband is afraid to/doesn't want to invest.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 9:35 pm

In a nutshell , your husband is ridiculously risk averse. I never understood investing until I listened to Dave Ramsey. I think you need to help your husband get over the concept that investing money is risky. The way he explains why it’s a bad thing to get back money on tax
Returns..money should be invested, that is the responsible thing to do. Is that the right word, responsible? The only way to build wealth is by allowing your money to grow. By not investing he is Losing money- all the potential interest. You can invest in mutual funds which are diverse so will do just fine. I still think Dave Ramsey is the man to explain the concept, search for better clips.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Apr 22 2021, 10:05 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Mutual funds carry so little risk! All of our money is invested in mutual funds and it grows very slowly- but it grows. And its safe. I come from a very risk averse background as does my husband and even though sometimes I wish we could invest in something like real estate at the end of the day I'm very happy that our money is in mututal funds.
Edited to add- I think you should stand your ground on this one, maybe even reach out to a trusted mentor to speak to your husband because this is your future parnassa at stake.

notshanarishona

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:43 am

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

I assume you have access to your money. Create an index fund with Vanguard or Fidelity and automatically put in a certain amount a month. Just do it.

Terrible advice for shalom bayis. Her husband is the one making the money and you are telling her to take significant amounts to do something he doesn’t want?
She needs to discuss together with him a plan to save for retirement, it’s not a one sided decision.

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 3:39 am

notshanarishona wrote:

I hear you. First, I didn't say anything about significant amounts. Second, he's taking money and putting it under the mattress or whatever, which she doesn't want. Because his (irrational and irresponsible) behavior is going to impact their lives together, she needs to take the lead.

amother

White

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 3:57 am

the reality is you and your dh view this area in life differently and want opposing things. so, he can continue not investing and you can take the money you get from him for extras"" and instead set up a Vangaurd mutual account....you dont have to be good with numbers...theres very little risk and everything is done for you....if you want to take a little more risk you can pay a fee for someone at Vangaurd to manage it for you.

this way you have the investment you believe is important and he is not investing...

then, you can tell your dh that you decided to put some money aside in very low risk fund....

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 4:24 am

My husband is the opposite. He invests more than we can afford. We have a home equity loan and owe more there than we currently owe on our mortgage, due to this. Dh refuses to ask anyone for financial advice, he feels that he knows better than everyone.

We have 401k, Roth IRA for both of us, plus stocks. We pay only the interest on the home equity loan. We can't afford to pay more.

We had an argument every time I went shopping for anything, including groceries and clothing.

I had enough. I went back to work part time and then full time. I currently pay for all the food and clothing, and dh cant say anything.

watergirl

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 4:31 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

This might be an out of the box idea, but, can you maybe take on a part-time job and then invest that money?

Thats what I was going to suggest, and its not so out of the box.

Based in what this amother spelled out,

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

It's quite limited. Only6k per person per year.
Maybe explaining that it's limited will help him?
(and then invest in S&P500!!!)

If you do 6k for each of you per year, within 5 years, you could have set aside $60000. That would be amazing.

It should be pretty easy to find a very part time job that pays $12,000/year. Take those earnings and put it right into the IRA.

When we can not control other people, or get them to do things the way we want them done, its time to remember, we can do it ourselves.

amother

Mauve

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 5:17 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Um did you read my post? He's not on board. My question is how to get him on board.

I read your post. Start out by transferring just a bit of money and putting it into a Roth IRA. Show him that he can still access his money the same way, then hopefully that gets him on board. "On board" was the last step. Lol

amother

Mauve

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 5:18 am

watergirl wrote:

That could work as well.

imasinger

Fri, Apr 23 2021, 5:26 am

I'd suggest that for your next birthday, Chanukah, whatever, you tell him that all you really want is for him to sit down with you and a professional financial advisor, who can take his aversion to risk into account along with your concerns, and suggest options.

He's less likely to blow off a third party.

You can increase odds in your favor by having conversations where you listen and validate wherever his concerns are coming from. People are more likely to move forward when they've been heard.