Best thing your parents did

FranticFrummie

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 5:05 am

My mother always struggled with her weight. She was raised by Holocaust survivors, and was always forced to eat everything, no matter how full she was, and she was also an emotional eater.

She never rewarded us with food, tried to cheer us up with food, or forced us to eat when we weren't hungry.

She let us listen to our bodies, and taught us how to make healthy snacks. She didn't keep nosh around to tempt us.

She kept her eating disorder to herself, and didn't let it affect us as much as possible. Nobody else had to go on her crazy diets, and she didn't talk about them much. She was determined to not pass on the pattern of eating problems that she had.

chanchy123

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 5:31 am

The single best thing my parents did that changed the trajectory of my life for the better, giving me the tools to become a better Jew was to make Aliyah.

Gut

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 6:03 am

Giving me the help I needed. Not giving up on me. Ads was not known in m birthplace. They searched for the right diagnose. They didn't leassen to people who said:the child is just stupid and has bad middos.

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 6:45 am

I'm forever grateful that my parents switched my school at a time that it was very hard for them. On the outside I looked fine in the first school, but in the second school I THRIVED.

cnc

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:32 am

Always have my back no matter what. My mother always said that a parent needs to advocate for their child because no one else will. That is something that stuck with me both as a child and as a parent.

Twinster

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:51 am

My mother never speaks about people. Not just LH, but anything. People are not a topic of discussion. It’s nature for me now. I cringe when people are discussed.

singleagain

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:54 am

My parents treated the 4 of us like the 4 different people we were. Yeah sometimes as kids we'd complain "it's not fair" but looking back we all needed different things. And my parents did their best to accommodate that.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 1:22 pm

They are my biggest cheerleaders - always telling me that I'm so great at things and I'm so smart and so pretty and so good at everything I do.
The funny thing is that I'm not super talented or above average in any area but I'm a very confident person and have a high level management position which I think is due to their encouragement.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 1:35 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

That’s so interesting because whenever my mother said things like that I would dismiss them because ‘you’re only saying that bc you’re my mother’

BrisketBoss

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 1:55 pm

Helped me blossom socially by getting me involved in their hobby community.

Took it well, considering, when I decided to be frum. Continue to be very supportive.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 3:53 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

That’s so interesting because whenever my mother said things like that I would dismiss them because ‘you’re only saying that bc you’re my mother’

I think they sincerely believe it when they say it! They still say it and I'm close to 40!

Chickensoupprof

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 4:36 pm

Not to discriminate against someone with different skin colour, or discriminating against a gay, Muslim, Christian, atheist, handicapped etc. And don't think that people are dumb or less when they are poor, inable or anything like that.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 4:39 pm

The best thing my mom did was divorce my dad so I could start to feel safe. So I could learn to look for a different kind of life for myself. Thank you Hashem for my great husband.

lamplighter

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 6:12 pm

Oh also my mother insisted that I not date a certain guy that I was really keen on because she didn't like his vibe.
Turns out he was a wife beater and is now divorced.

RevitalizedMom

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 6:50 pm

I always got the feeling that my parents didn’t just love me, but they also liked me a lot. They liked my personality and liked to spend time with me. This gave me tremendous self confidence. They enjoyed talking with me and hearing about my day/social life/opinions...

I have also never once seen my parents argue in front of each other. They’re best friends and love and respect each other. We always felt very safe and secure and B”H this gave us a healthy outlook on marriage and choosing a spouse.

I think the key to successful chinuch is 1. Modeling the type of behavior you want/being that role model and 2. Showing excitement and interest in your child and his/her life.

#BestBubby

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 11:19 pm

Even when I did not do well in school, my mother always considered me very smart and told
me I could be anything I wanted - even a doctor.

My mother listened to me when I was upset.

My mother was my role model in being assertive and confident.

When I was nervous because I was in shidduchim for a few years, my mother assured
me that I would find my match.