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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
For those who don't believe in sleep training...
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:31 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
That’s fine but the responses about watching for facial expressions and not Waiting for a cry to knew the baby is hungry is a bit OTT for those of us not practicing AP. I can only speak for myself bit I don’t sit at stare at my infant all day. I know what cries mean tired vs hungry and I know (because I formula feed) how much he took when but The expectation that a mom who doesn’t practice AP do any more than that isn’t typical IME. From OP post it doesn’t sound like she necessarily practices AP so (if I’m right) I wanted to validate her in that way

I’m sorry but crying being a late sign of hunger isn’t just an attachment parenting idea. It’s pretty standard in feeding babies. If you are waiting for your baby to cry to feed him you aren’t being intuned to your babies needs.
For future babies try to be mindful of this and no need to stress about the past. Good luck
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:44 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
That’s fine but the responses about watching for facial expressions and not Waiting for a cry to knew the baby is hungry is a bit OTT for those of us not practicing AP. I can only speak for myself bit I don’t sit at stare at my infant all day. I know what cries mean tired vs hungry and I know (because I formula feed) how much he took when but The expectation that a mom who doesn’t practice AP do any more than that isn’t typical IME. From OP post it doesn’t sound like she necessarily practices AP so (if I’m right) I wanted to validate her in that way


You're confusing attachment parenting (a method made up by a Christian who wanted women to stay home with their babies) with attachment science (an established theory based upon almost half a century of research).

Feeding on demand and responding quickly and consistently to baby's needs are in line with attachment SCIENCE
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:48 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
I’m sorry but crying being a late sign of hunger isn’t just an attachment parenting idea. It’s pretty standard in feeding babies. If you are waiting for your baby to cry to feed him you aren’t being intuned to your babies needs.
For future babies try to be mindful of this and no need to stress about the past. Good luck


The past? I have an infant now. This is my reality. I know when I last fed him and I know how much he drank so I know how long he’ll last but That’s it. And I’m not stressed! I’m a great mom! and I never said I ‘on demand’ feed since that seems to be a thing that means more than Feed when they’re hungry. We’ve obv also chosen very different pediatricians, read different things and associate with like minded moms who validate our own methods. I’m not looking to get into a thing but some of your responses are so sanctimommy as if no other mom or parenting method can possibly be good or as good as you and Yours. I was just trying to validate OP who is obv a very different mom to you. And that’s fine. I’m sure both of your kids (mine too) will turn out just fine.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:59 pm
OP are you trying to get the baby to sleep more during the day so you can work from home during his naps?
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:27 pm
I didnt read all the responses so maybe someone Said it already : baby whisperer from tracy hogg
Its agaisnt leaving the baby crying
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:43 pm
Very important PSA:
Some women are recommending swaddling and some mention tummy sleeping.

The two can NEVER be combined.

Even people who advocate for tummy sleeping (I believe in back to sleep but that’s not the point) -everyone agrees that you can’t put a swaddled baby to sleep on its tummy or side.
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ggdm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 28 2021, 8:39 am
Hi OP. My babies rarely slept longer than 45 min for naps at that age. It passes...

Truthfully, the only way to get anything done or be able to "sleep when the baby sleeps" is to get out the toddler. With only the baby, 45 min is enough to take a shower or get something small done. Can you get day care, a babysitter, family, ... ? At least for one day a week? Good luck!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, May 15 2021, 8:58 pm
In case anyone was waiting for an update... I took on all the advice given and am doing my best. Some naps I feel like throwing DS out the window (just kidding!!!) and for others he goes down really nicely. I've come to appreciate that 45-60min naps is where we are up to at this stage, and rather focus on getting a good night's sleep. I've tried getting him to take a paci but it's not doing very much. It's easiest to try nurse him to sleep. I will not ruin my back trying to settle him, that's a huge limit I've put in place. BH my DH's on board and takes over when settling him takes FOREVER! He's definitely a scrummy little boy and I feel better than I did trying to force him into a routine/schedule...
Thank you all Smile
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 15 2021, 9:05 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
In case anyone was waiting for an update... I took on all the advice given and am doing my best. Some naps I feel like throwing DS out the window (just kidding!!!) and for others he goes down really nicely. I've come to appreciate that 45-60min naps is where we are up to at this stage, and rather focus on getting a good night's sleep. I've tried getting him to take a paci but it's not doing very much. It's easiest to try nurse him to sleep. I will not ruin my back trying to settle him, that's a huge limit I've put in place. BH my DH's on board and takes over when settling him takes FOREVER! He's definitely a scrummy little boy and I feel better than I did trying to force him into a routine/schedule...
Thank you all Smile

Heart
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sat, May 15 2021, 9:36 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
In case anyone was waiting for an update... I took on all the advice given and am doing my best. Some naps I feel like throwing DS out the window (just kidding!!!) and for others he goes down really nicely. I've come to appreciate that 45-60min naps is where we are up to at this stage, and rather focus on getting a good night's sleep. I've tried getting him to take a paci but it's not doing very much. It's easiest to try nurse him to sleep. I will not ruin my back trying to settle him, that's a huge limit I've put in place. BH my DH's on board and takes over when settling him takes FOREVER! He's definitely a scrummy little boy and I feel better than I did trying to force him into a routine/schedule...
Thank you all Smile


Never heard of the word scrummy but happy he and you are doing better overall!
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 4:39 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
Never heard of the word scrummy but happy he and you are doing better overall!


scrumptious + yummy = scrummy Very Happy
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 4:55 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
scrumptious + yummy = scrummy Very Happy


Hahah did you make it up?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 5:15 am
Don't think so
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amother
Linen


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 5:20 am
Heya op. I didn't read the entire thread. But here's my 2 cents amd how it worked out for me. .
7 weeks is TINY. Btw.

My first 2 kids I was not very confident as a mother. Listened to everyone's advice. And made some pretty messy mistakes. (The pediatrician is always a good person to listen though) With my 3rd I decided that won't do anymore....

And this is how I did it.

But please figure out what works for you and baby. All these fancy parenting words. Nonsense. Just listen to what baby needs and give it.
Crooning is usually an early sign of hunger. Better to get on it before baby cries.
I nursed all of my babies to sleep. And they all later learned to self sooth and fall asleep on their own. Amd to stay asleep.
(My now 2 yo I would nurse to sleep till a few weeks ago when I stopped nursing him. It was so easy. So fast. It was a shood not to take advantage of that. If he cries im bed there is always a reason. Usually dirty diaper. Rarely pain /sick. )
When baby falls asleep on my breast I would hold them upright for our a bit and lightly tap or rub their back to burp. Then put down.
If baby wasn't too hungry baby would burp up easily.
NEVER change baby after nursing to sleep. Even dirty. I ate a very clean diet so I was able to do that. Baby was exclusively reast feeding the few times it happened it didn't bother the baby one bit. Baby slept thru the night this way a few times. No problem. (Again I ate a very clean diet. Mainly fruits veggies and protein. Very very little gluten diary or added sugar. No coffee/chocolate.)
I fed on demand. And I held on demand. Nighttime I'd put baby into a very dark room. Daytime I never darkened the room so baby learned fast when its night and when its day. (Even though I was tempted to put baby for a longer midday nap in a dark room, lol)
Some of my babies liked swaddled and propped up like in a donut pillow. Others liked the tummy.
My babies had neck control, within hours/days of birth. (And yups. Did everything fast. Especually the tummy sleepers) so I'd check if they are OK on their tummies and put them on their tummies.

NEVER swaddle and put a baby on its tummy. Also, pull their hands out to the sides of their heads so that they have better control amd balance.

Sleep well. They are babies only once.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 8:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
In case anyone was waiting for an update... I took on all the advice given and am doing my best. Some naps I feel like throwing DS out the window (just kidding!!!) and for others he goes down really nicely. I've come to appreciate that 45-60min naps is where we are up to at this stage, and rather focus on getting a good night's sleep. I've tried getting him to take a paci but it's not doing very much. It's easiest to try nurse him to sleep. I will not ruin my back trying to settle him, that's a huge limit I've put in place. BH my DH's on board and takes over when settling him takes FOREVER! He's definitely a scrummy little boy and I feel better than I did trying to force him into a routine/schedule...
Thank you all Smile


When you say sometimes by naps you're ready to throw him out the window why are you so opposed to letting him cry for a few minutes. No not a long time, a few minutes.
I remember with my first I was so overwhelmed I never even went to the bathroom without my baby I was scared she would cry, I was being really hard on myself. Then after some time I really needed to go to the bathroom and my baby was crying and wouldn't settle down. I decided ok I am going to put my baby in her bed so she's safe and just go! I rushed!! I came back in a few minutes and she was fast asleep!!
I was so worried she would miss me and need me, all she needed was sleep.
Now I let my current baby cry a few minutes to sleep, and no, after I did that she has never given up on calling me in the future because I did that. She doesn't not cry out for me because she felt abandoned.....she is now 6 months and such a happy smiley well slept baby and I get comments all the time how happy she is...not at all abused like some people have mentioned.
And people are suggesting to let toddler and >husband working full time to take care of themselves rather than let a baby cry for a minute or two? My point is that sometimes u need to walk away and come back after a minute or two, pat them and walk away again they will be asleep in no time. Obviously I am only writing this for the op and whoever else could find this helpful and not for ppl who consider this child abuse.
Btw op I was the same as u. I kept seeing that you don't need to do cio and I was like ok so what else is there to do. I definitely don't do cio meaning for over 5 mins just letting them cry and cry but my baby's definitely do cry for a minute or two sometimes in order to fall asleep and I am not gloating, I am very thankful to Hashem.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 9:05 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
When you say sometimes by naps you're ready to throw him out the window why are you so opposed to letting him cry for a few minutes. No not a long time, a few minutes.
I remember with my first I was so overwhelmed I never even went to the bathroom without my baby I was scared she would cry, I was being really hard on myself. Then after some time I really needed to go to the bathroom and my baby was crying and wouldn't settle down. I decided ok I am going to put my baby in her bed so she's safe and just go! I rushed!! I came back in a few minutes and she was fast asleep!!
I was so worried she would miss me and need me, all she needed was sleep.
Now I let my current baby cry a few minutes to sleep, and no, after I did that she has never given up on calling me in the future because I did that. She doesn't not cry out for me because she felt abandoned.....she is now 6 months and such a happy smiley well slept baby and I get comments all the time how happy she is...not at all abused like some people have mentioned.
And people are suggesting to let toddler and >husband working full time to take care of themselves rather than let a baby cry for a minute or two? My point is that sometimes u need to walk away and come back after a minute or two, pat them and walk away again they will be asleep in no time. Obviously I am only writing this for the op and whoever else could find this helpful and not for ppl who consider this child abuse.
Btw op I was the same as u. I kept seeing that you don't need to do cio and I was like ok so what else is there to do. I definitely don't do cio meaning for over 5 mins just letting them cry and cry but my baby's definitely do cry for a minute or two sometimes in order to fall asleep and I am not gloating, I am very thankful to Hashem.


I don’t disagree and neither does my pediatrician but literally there’s a response on page one that said that letting a 7 week old baby cry for 2 minutes is neglectful and abusive. There were many responses as such so OP received a lot of that messaging
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 9:14 am
To PP, I'm glad it worked/works for you, but my baby doesn't cry for two minutes and then quiets down. He cries and cries and cries. Some kids are like that, you can't "train" them until they're much older and they understand.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 1:11 pm
Good to hear your update, op! Enjoy him!!
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amother
Azure


 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 1:34 pm
Didn't read the whole thread.

But a sling is perfect for this kind of issue.

You have my sympathies, it's hard. Very hard.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 19 2021, 4:43 pm
A seven week old is still a newborn!!! There is no "training" a kid this young.
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