Dog dying & we have no children

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:39 am

Our beloved dog became suddenly ill. Now in animal hospital. We don’t have children. ( married many years) and we are devastated. I feel so alone. Our extended family is super small and my small group of friends are busy with their own lives. So distraught.we have had other pets in past , cats. That cat died young and now dog is on younger side of senior dog age . We take great care of our pets and spoil them. I don’t know why Hashem has them die too young. Please be kind. I am in a fragile state. I need some chizzuk, please.

108

ces

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:40 am

I'm so sorry. That must feel devastating. I have no words to make you feel better, but please know that I'm feeling for you and davening for Hashem to ease your pain.

exaustedmom

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:42 am

I'm so sorry.! This must be so difficult! Sending you hugs.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:43 am

Oy that’s soo sad, I am sorry for your pain....we really do get attached to our pets.
It’s not easy .😕

imasinger

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:47 am

Sending big, gentle hugs.

WhatFor

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:48 am

I am so so sorry you and your pet are going through this. How devastating. Sending love and hugs.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:54 am

I hope your dog pulls through, and if not, that you can have some quality time with him.

I understand you 100%. We give our pets our whole heart, and yet they still break ours when they have to leave.

One of the first thing I'm going to ask Hashem at 120, is why pets don't live as long as we do (unless you have a tortoise or a macaw, of course.)

Something that has helped me, is to know that all living things have a nefesh, as spark of the Divine. When they leave their old vessels, the spark returns to the Creator of all Life. It can never be destroyed.

When you are done grieving, remember that you can save a dog from death row by rescuing from your nearest shelter. If you can save litter mates, you can have twice the love.

watergirl

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:59 am

I am sending you major hugs. I have dogs and have had them my whole life and I truly know how much we love them. Just hugs.

PinkFridge

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:03 am

Twinster

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:22 am

I am so sad for you. This must be heartbreaking. Sending you love Hug

Rappel

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:24 am

I cannot even imagine. I'm sending you hugs, and wishing you peace

vintagebknyc

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:47 am

I am sending all the love and all the hugs.

If you google, there is a piece in the WashPo from maybe 8 years ago, about a reporter whose Doberman, Red, died while he was at work, and how the loss devastated him more than when he'd lost family members. He does a good deal of research to explain why these losses are so painful, and this piece made me feel sane during the short time DH and I split and I lost my beloved cat.

You're a good mom to your dog, know that, and you're doing all the right things.

Hazlacha.

SuperWify

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:57 am

I am so so sorry Sad

Amarante

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:59 am

My sympathy. My father still tears up whenever any one mentions our dog - who died more than 20 years ago. I still hear phantom toenails clicking on the floor and remember greeted with exuberant love whenever I came home - however long or short I had been gone. He would put his paws up on the window overlooking the street and wait for us.

I still get weepy when I read this written by the famed playwright many years ago.

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF AN EXTREMELY DISTINGUISHED DOG

by Eugene O'Neill
I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.

I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.

I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over- lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those my fellow Dalmatians who are devote Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris [lovely nymphs], beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.
I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.

One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendome, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years.
And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.

One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved". No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:03 am

So sorry for your pain. My children lost a pet in an accident that they had only had a very short while, and although I myself wasn’t attached to it, I could hardly bear seeing them in such pain. I still tear up when I think about it. So I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must feel. I’m so so sorry, and may Mashiach come very soon and take away all our pain!

BH Yom Yom

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:25 am

Major hugs OP. Losing a pet is heartbreaking and painful on so many levels. I am davening for you and for your dog. I hope the vet is able to save him/her. Hug

I love what FranticFrummie wrote. FF, thank you for that post.

chanchy123

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:03 am

OP we’re here for you.

Chazak613

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:35 am

So sorry! Take time for your self to grieve. This is the article from the Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com......html

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oy I'm sorry 😞 that must be so hard

shirachadasha

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:09 pm

Would it be helpful to speak with one of the fertilty support groups? The way you wrote your post, it seems like the sadness of not having children is magnifying the experience of your dog's illness.