Dunno why but this seems inappropriate to me...

amother

Wine

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I dont think its appropriate but the train has left the station so to speak...In this situation now...first it was just the little girls custom designed and forced upon all Can't Believe It

then the teenagers cuz otherwise they'll gasp clash with the little ones. I found for myself a nice summery color gown (not white!) and gave a deposit..in the interim, some my sis inlaws settled on white somehow and the others, while they didnt settle yet are leaning towards white. One even went so far as to say that technically I could still change my gown and choose something that will fit their color scheme somehow. whatever. thanks for letting me vent Wink

How about a partly white gown. To match in yet not look like a wannabe bride. TMI

like white top, colored bottom etc.

Perrys

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:28 pm

[quote="amother [ OP ]"]Trying to understand why...is it because the kallah should be standing out as much as possible? if so then why isnt it considered such a faux passe if its the bridal side is in white?[/quote

Sefardim do it!!

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:35 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

I guess this depends on the community. In our community it's a non issue.
If you look at the non jewish websites, most flower girls gowns are white.

In the Syrian community it’s very common that EVERYONE wears white. There are those that do color as well

amother

Orchid

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:38 pm

We discuss this every week. In my circles people wear white and the kallahs are fine with it. It's up to the kallah to decide if it's appropriate. If it's not your wedding it's not your business.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:42 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

We discuss this every week. In my circles people wear white and the kallahs are fine with it. It's up to the kallah to decide if it's appropriate. If it's not your wedding it's not your business.

ummm but it IS my business. I dont want to commit a fashion gaffe. and nobody asked the kalla whether she minds or not... chassidish circles if it makes a difference

Rutabaga

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:44 pm

Can someone please explain why anyone other than the kallah and maybe the flower girls would wear white? It's supposed to symbolize virginity, so having married women wear it seems odd.

Also, let's be honest, white is not the most flattering color for many complexions and body types and it's very impractical for eating or if you have young children with you at the wedding.

Cookin4days

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:48 pm

In my community (Syrian) it is SO common to have your bridesmaids in white, unless specified by the bride - some brides care and have you wear a different color and some ask you to wear white

tweety1

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

ummm but it IS my business. I dont want to commit a fashion gaffe. and nobody asked the kalla whether she minds or not... chassidish circles if it makes a difference

Funny how I was thinking the same. I dunno if there's something wrong I just can't stand it. I didn't get stark white for my kids when sibling got married not too long ago. Ivory is ok.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:52 pm

Don’t wear white unless the Kallah asks you to and specifically wants a snowball wedding-which is beautiful IF it is the Kallah a choice. Don’t put her on the spot and ask if it is ok either it is not fair to wear white or to put he on the spot where she is not getting what she wants or is forced to be a b***ch (which she isn’t if she advocates for herself, but it’s hard and unfair).

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:53 pm

ra_mom wrote:

If the wedding party is wearing white, you can be sure the bride asked for that color scheme.

except that she didnt ask lol. which is why I think it odd that my sis in laws just decided and ran with it Can't Believe It

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 5:58 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

I'm ok being the odd one out and sticking to my color...doubt I can do anything about the others though...wish I can show this thread somehow to the ones that didnt settle on their gowns yet...but then I'll be the b***ch Tongue Out

Simple1

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:10 pm

Is the Kallah and her mother OK with it? If so, then I wouldn't worry about it. Not something I would do if I were making a wedding. But to each their own.

piegirl

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:17 pm

I think a half white gown is the best compromise for you. For sure they told the kallah what color they want to get. Did you?

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:19 pm

Rutabaga wrote:

This is not true in the Jewish tradition.

amother

Jade

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:21 pm

It's a wedding. It's a few hours. It's NOTHING compared to a marriage. I really do not understand the whole thing about the minute details of the wedding, it's exhausting. (And yes, I felt this way when I was 25 as well.)

amother

Slategray

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:49 pm

We just had a thread on this.
I have the unpopular opinion : my husband’s side all wore off-white to my wedding and didn’t really like it.
(My gown wasn’t stark white if that matters)
I don’t think they discussed it with anyone on my side, each side just said they’ll do their own colors.
So as a bride I wasn’t consulted nor did I ask them to. And if they’d have asked I’d probably my have shrugged and said do what you want.
It didn’t stress me out or anything but if you’re asking my opinion: no.

ra_mom

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

except that she didnt ask lol. which is why I think it odd that my sis in laws just decided and ran with it Can't Believe It

Only the groom's side was wearing white? And they didn't ask the bride if they could wear that color?