Dunno why but this seems inappropriate to me...

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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty

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amother

Slategray

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:53 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Only the groom's side was wearing white? And they didn't ask the bride if they could wear that color?

Does it matter if it’s stark white or ivory/off-white whatever?

amother

Cyan

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:53 pm

[quote="Perrys"]

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Trying to understand why...is it because the kallah should be standing out as much as possible? if so then why isnt it considered such a faux passe if its the bridal side is in white?[/quote

Sefardim do it!!

Sefardi my whole life, married a different type of sefardi, moved to a community of yet a different type of sefardi...and I've never seen or heard of this. As posters upthread said, you don't wear white to a wedding unless thats the color the bride chose for her wedding party.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:54 pm

I think this got popular when kate middleton's sister wore white to her wedding as a maid of honor.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:11 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Only the groom's side was wearing white? And they didn't ask the bride if they could wear that color?

no. yikes?

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:19 pm

Please. There’s a difference between a white gown and a kallah gown. The shape, the detailing.
The kallah stands out plenty. I promise you no one is mixing her up with anyone else.
It would be super odd if everyone wore kallah gowns. It would be even weirder if everyone wore veils. Otherwise, it’s so beautiful.

zaq

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:29 pm

Traditionally, nobody but the bride wears all white or even mostly white or off-white at a wedding, so that the bride can stand out. Wearing all white can be seen as an attempt to outshine the bride. Traditionally, one doesn't wear black to a wedding either, because it's a wedding, not a funeral.

But it's the bride's day. If she doesn't object to her bridal party wearing all white, so be it. There are all sorts of non-traditional wedding schemes in fashion, from all-white to all-black to everyone dressed in clown costumes to honor the bride and groom who met at their jobs as medical clowns.

OTOH, if guests show up in all white without the bride's ok...it's not ok. At all. I'd be speechless with shock and anger if it happened to me. Didn't they discuss this before the wedding? Are they from a different culture with a different tradition? Let's pray they're not from someplace where white is the color of mourning...

amother

Orchid

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:31 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

I think this got popular when kate middleton's sister wore white to her wedding as a maid of honor.

It was popular before her

amother

Smokey

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:53 pm

When we were looking at wedding halls, we went to one where a wedding was going on. Standing outside talking on a cell phone was a girl in full bridal regalia. No veil, but the whole poufy Cinderella ballgown with layers of white tulle. It was unmistakably a bridal gown, not just a fancy white evening dress. I knew she wasn't the bride because the bride was in the ballroom that I had just walked out of, and she wasn't a bride on her way home from a wedding that had taken place earlier in the day because the hall was in a school so there were no weddings earlier in the day. What on earth was this girl thinking?

Could she have been a foreigner who went to a store and asked to try on a "wedding dress", not knowing that a "wedding dress" is what you wear when you get married? maybe. an amazing number of women on imamother post that they're looking for a "wedding dress" when what they mean is a fancy dress to wear to someone else's wedding. Hey, I once heard someone say that she had a beautiful nightgown made for her brother's bar mitzvah. What she meant, of course, was an evening gown.

Still, the big white dress has for a long time been fairly standard bridal wear in most Western countries, so unless this girl came from the Far East or something, the likelihood that she didn't know she was wearing a bridal gown was slim.

ra_mom

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

no. yikes?

They should have asked.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:58 pm

When I see this IRL it makes me so angry. So inappropriate unless the bride specifically wants it.

amother

Plum

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:01 pm

Love when siblings wear white to the wedding. Everyone in white it just so beautiful!

amother

Blush

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

ummm but it IS my business. I dont want to commit a fashion gaffe. and nobody asked the kalla whether she minds or not... chassidish circles if it makes a difference

In chassidish circles it's very common and acceptable for siblings/neices to wear white or ivory. You're not committing a fashion gaffe and no one will think it's weird. Many girls gowns have some colored trimming.

amother

Blush

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:46 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Only the groom's side was wearing white? And they didn't ask the bride if they could wear that color?

No one has to ask or approve with the kallah what they'll be wearing! Everyone can wear as they please! I never understood the concept of asking the kallah what color to wear. Everyone knows that kallah is the kallah. I find that most people don't wear stark white gowns besides for the kallah. It's more of an Ivory/cream color.
The only time I can understand the kallah telling others what to wear is if the kallah pays for everyone's gowns.

dancingqueen

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:14 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

In most circles it’s bad manners to wear a long white/cream/offwhite to a wedding if you’re not the bride unless the bride asks you to.

amother

Violet

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:20 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

I was by a wedding years ago where the mother of the kallah wore white. And, yes, people thought she was the kallah at first glance.

I think little girls are fine in white but teens and older - nope.

amother

Emerald

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:34 pm

The sefardim do it. I’ve seen it many times. There is a kabbalistic reason behind it.

amother

Blush

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:33 pm

dancingqueen wrote:

In most circles it’s bad manners to wear a long white/cream/offwhite to a wedding if you’re not the bride unless the bride asks you to.

In which circles? I've seen white at plenty non chassidish weddings as well. The only time I heard it's inappropriate is on imamother.

HonesttoGod

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:35 pm

I find it so odd.

I have been to weddings where everyone is wearing off white or white and literally the only difference between the bridal gown and the huge puffy bridesmaids gowns that are in now was that the bride had a veil. I find it so strange but it seems to be pretty common in the tri state.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Apr 27 2021, 12:31 am

ra_mom wrote:

If the wedding party is wearing white, you can be sure the bride asked for that color scheme.

Nope. I didn’t even feel bad when my in-laws gowns all came out a bit misshapen. They all chose to wear white to my wedding, and it was bizzare.

Heimish btw.

Iymnok

Tue, Apr 27 2021, 1:32 am

Why don’t you ask the kallah?

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