Husband having to approve every fashion choice

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:37 pm

I went shopping with someone today, and literally every item she bought for herself needed the approval of her husband, who thinks he knows what’s hip and fashionable ( and he doesn’t really).

I found it very off putting, like if you know it’s in style, looks good on you, and you like it, then go for it. Why does he get a say in everything?

Opinions.....

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:38 pm

I think it’s very nice when husband is interested. Was she stressed about it or happy to ask him

imasinger

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:40 pm

I think there's enough opinions already flying around here without me adding any more Smile

amother

Silver

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:41 pm

I deff ask my dh his opinion on a new dress I might order, but im a good dresser and he trusts my judgement

tigerwife

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:41 pm

If it’s not your thing, be happy your husband doesn’t care!
I actually appreciate my husband’s taste and usually show him any clothing before purchasing. He isn’t controlling at all, it’s just a shared interest.

amother

Blush

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:46 pm

If he forces his opinion on her, that's a shame and I hope she learns how to set boundaries.
If she has anxiety and needs reassurance, hopefully she'll get the help she needs.
If she was calling to get his opinion because she really values it and he's happy to give it, that's sweet.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:07 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I think it’s very nice when husband is interested. Was she stressed about it or happy to ask him

Being interested is sweet.
Claiming that midi length isn’t cool or fashionable etc. and saying no to that whole genre is just clueless and oppressive.

hodeez

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:10 pm

Is she oppressed? Does she not like the input? If she's ok with it you should be as well , and just say bh your husband is not like that.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:14 pm

hodeez wrote:

Is she oppressed? Does she not like the input? If she's ok with it you should be as well , and just say bh your husband is not like that.

She’s not okay with it, but takes it as a fact. If he doesn’t deem it the right fashion then she won’t be able to wear it around him, so she better check with him first.

The funny part is that he loves when she is dressed all up to date etc. but doesn’t know what’s trendy. (Like most men).

amother

Gray

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:27 pm

And my DH is one of those men who really cares how I dress, but he does actually have a good fashion sense. I always ask his opinion since I’d rather he like it. Generally I’m fine with following his opinion, but on occasion it can be frustrating.

I’m not sure this is your place to get involved, though.

forever21

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:28 pm

When I first got married I used to shop with my husband when I was buying hats to wear with my fall. Looking back I think it’s quite funny that I did that (married over 10 years)
. Now when I see women going clothes shopping with Their husband (for herself, not for him) I smile and figure they must be newlyweds.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:49 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Oh I’m totally not planning to get involved! No worries!
I’m just appreciating that though my husband likes when. I look good, he trusts me. And knows that he doesn’t need to like everything I wear.

tigerwife

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Being interested is sweet.
Claiming that midi length isn’t cool or fashionable etc. and saying no to that whole genre is just clueless and oppressive.

Maybe he just thinks short dresses/skirts are more attractive than midi which is true. Not all trendy, stylish clothing is attractive to guys.

Does this bother your friend as much as it bothers you? Or are you the friend?

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:58 pm

if it works for them fine -- either way its their business.

opinions? gotta say I would not want to open ima and find a thread posted by my friend about me

amother

Gold

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:03 pm

My DH has impeccable taste in clothes. He always weighs in on my choices positively or negatively.
It’s just the way he is and he can’t help it. He’s very nice about it but he’s asked me to return certain clothes more times than not.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:42 pm

my opinion: that's odd.

personally, I'd maybe ask dh opinion if I went shopping alone, or ordered online and tried it on at home... also maybe if I was dressing for a function for his side (though as we're married longer I'm increasingly inclined to just text my SIL or her daughters who are my age)

amother

Crimson

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:05 pm

It's a relationship. He needs to weigh in on her clothes, and she calls to ask him.

If I asked my husband about some of my clothes, no doubt he would have an opinion. He also has told me he doesn't like some of my outfits. I shrug and wear what I want. I don't really care. I don't consult him. The only time I change/return a clothing item is when my husband points out that it's not all that tznius. (Either I got fatter so the hemline got shorter, or it's more see-through than I realized.)

Don't forget that she is one-half of that relationship, and if that's the only thing you know about them, you don't know much.

DrMom

Tue, Apr 27 2021, 12:25 am

I'm laughing to myself thinking about what outfits I'd end up wearing if my DH picked out my clothes.

But if this arrangement works for them, zei gezundt.