How would you say it?

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:25 pm

My new-ish cleaning lady came recently in a cold shoulder top.

It didn't hit me immediately, and by that time my boys were all out of the house and my husband was busy in his home office.
I didn't say anything that time, but I probably should have.
Today it was worse - I was rushing around to appointments, and only toward the end of the day did I spend more than a few minutes with her, and realized that her cleavage was quite prominently on show.
My husband didn't mention anything to me - could be he really didn't see, because he keeps to himself while he's working.

But I do need to say something, especially as my teenage boys will be home when she comes to me on Friday afternoon.

How would you approach it? There is a language barrier, if I want her to understand something I need to text her.
She's quite a religious lady (crosses herself before eating, asked me to pray for her - stuff like that), so I'm surprised she isn't more sensitive to this.

Any ideas?

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:31 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

If you live in a frum area, just give her a top to put on. It's like a uniform.

She's a lady who is in her forties at least, it just seems a bit disrespectful and presumptuous to make her wear a uniform to clean my house. But I can't let it go anymore.

amother

Purple

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She's a lady who is in her forties at least, it just seems a bit disrespectful and presumptuous to make her wear a uniform to clean my house. But I can't let it go anymore.

It’s very disrespectful. Don’t do it.

amother

Black

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:07 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

It’s very disrespectful. Don’t do it.

Is it disrespectful for the bank to require their tellers wear a uniform?
Or a construction company?

amother

cornflower

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:10 pm

It’s your call. She may get offended if you say anything to her. Are you willing to lose her over this? Can you tell your boys to avoid looking at her?

Do you know who else uses her? Maybe someone else has discussed this with her already and will have an idea of what her reaction would be.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:11 pm

I would just be honest.
Hey my boys are teenagers and a bit more sheltered living In this area. Would you mind dressing a bit more covered up, I’d appreciate it! Like T-shirts that cover shoulders and chest area.

Why beat around the bush. She’s human. She’s a woman. She’s probably a mom.

amother

Linen

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:12 pm

Can't you just say you ask all your cleaning help to wear modest clothes? Be explicit - no shoulders or chest bare. Show a picture of a T-shirt to show her what is acceptable.

doodlesmom

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:19 pm

Ask her if she would appreciate a housekeeping jacket to protect her clothes, show her a sample, maybe you can personalize it....
My cleaning ladies both brought one on their own with them...

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:03 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Think it would come out super clumsy with the language barrier.
I had no problem telling my kid's therapist when she came to observe him in school.
She got it right away and said "I'll zip up Smile

".
But this is different.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:47 pm

I would say. I am religious Jewish kosher. point to the candlestick etc.. And show her my shirt and dd shirt. Point to my neckline and say close. And say spouse’ (husband) and ninio. (Boy) not good see (point to my eyes). And than please sorry thank you gracies 😂. Maniana (tomorrow). And give her a shirt if she doesn’t have one.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:11 pm

Does she have a phone? I would just use Google translate and write her a little text.
"I know summer is coming but please wear modest clothing that cover the chest when you work in my house. My boys and my husband are around and it makes them uncomfortable as you know already, we are religious people! Thank you for understanding, we are so happy with your work!"

amother

Rose

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 11:17 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

This is really insulting, not to mention unclear.

Type out that your family is sensitive to modesty and would it be ok if she came to work with arms and cleavage covered. Then put it into google translate if you think she won't understand you.