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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Son is a sore loser



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 5:29 am
My 10 year old son has always hated losing games. I thought he would outgrow it but he really hasn’t. If he sees he’s losing or if you help a younger child win (like in rummikub) he literally gets so upset to the point of tears. The kids all Make fun of him and tell him he’s such a baby. Aside from this he is a typical child.
Any suggestions ?
Editing to add that I think it’s mainly a problem when a younger sibling wins. When the older ones win he’s more ok with it.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 5:31 am
Tell him that he's not allowed to join in the games until he feels like he's mature enough to cope with competition.

This way, he has control of whether he will participate or not. He can go to his room and read a book if he prefers.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 5:54 am
Omg my son is the same! I made a chart for him when he loses and smiles he can put on a sticker. When the chart was full he got some stupid little thing. This put him in a spot: does he rather win or lose? It worked out very well b”h
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:28 am
this is something I work on when my kids are 3/4. You'll have to work on it now.

I play lots of games with them and model good winning and good losing behaviors.
We say, "Good game!" At the end of the game
sometimes "I hope you win next time!"
point out that sometimes he wins, sometimes others win. That's how games work.
Etc.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:31 am
Also, I WOULD NOT HELP A YOUNGER SIBLING WIN.
They need to learn that they'll lose too. This is the age to work on it.

My kids know that most times I play hard with them (e.g. Chess, stratego). For sure my kids 7+, but I even play hard with my 4 year old when we play Uno. (I'll sometimes go easy with spot -it, but never let her son over and over. If we play 3 rounds, either I'll win twice or she'll win twice.)

When you help your little kids win they never learn how to be a good loser.

If you want to give them the opportunity to win, play with them yourself, or have a different sibling who doesn't really care play against them and go easy. Don't do it with your ten year old.

Again, DO NOT LET LITTLE KIDS WIN TOO MUCH.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:44 am
Maybe focus on games that are collective so the whole team wins or loses together?

Also, maybe enlist your child's help with helping a younger sibling. Teach them the joys of teaching their sibling how to do better. If he feels bad losing to a younger sibling, it sounds like his pride bothers him. Give him something to be proud of!
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 9:14 am
I have a few sore losers, and the rule that really helps is “winner cleans up!” It takes away the sting of losing and cuts down on winner gloating, too.
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 9:57 am
My grandson (7) is like this.

When I play with him, I role play being a good sport.

When my grandson finds a match in a Memory Game I sing "Hurray for Eli, he got a match!"

When I got a match my grandson used to say "awwww!" But then he also started singing for me

"Hurray for Bubby, she got a match!"

PS I do let grandson win some games, but not ALL - I also make sure I win some games
so that grandson learns "you can't win 'em all".
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 10:00 am
As a SEIT this is how I taught a sore loser.

I played a game - throwing ball in a box.

First we played from a distance and missed some throws.

Then we played standing right next to the box, throwing balls straight in.

Then I asked my student - which way is more fun?

The student said that throwing from a distance is more fun as it was boring when
it was too easy.

I praised student and said that winning every time is NOT fun, it is BORING.

It is more fun to play against someone where sometimes you win and sometimes you don't.
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