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How often do you go away for Shabbos?
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 10:30 pm
I wanted to make some sort of poll, but as I’m typing this out I realized how many options there are... so please just take the time to post!

How often do you go away for Shabbos? Is it the whole Shabbos? Or you usually just go for a meal and sleep at home? You mostly go to parents/in-laws? Or family friends? How many years are you married?
My parents/in-laws live out of the country so we spend yom tov together twice a year. Now with covid, it’s even less.... besides for my parents/in- laws, we were probably invited out for Shabbos 4 times in the past 5-6 years. I am married almost 10 years and have 4 adorable, non-home-wrecking children.

I will be blunt and honest. Most of the hosting I have been doing over my married life is single family members who (obviously) do not host us back.
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 10:37 pm
Never, unless we have a simcha with mandatory attendance out of town. Married more than 5 years.
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alwayssmiling




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 10:43 pm
So I'm married two years
Being that I'm the oldest of 17 there's no room for us at my parents so we only est meals there and sleep home.my in laws live in a different continent so that's a non issue(can I stick in bh here? Wink )
I love e hosting and am forever begging dh to invite everyone and his brother to us.
O kids so I can patchka more in the kitchen and I've got myself quite a name as a good hostess.
Please feel free to drop in even without advance notice. We love company
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 10:47 pm
Away for shabbos? Probably never... my parents live local, I try to invite them for a meal every now and then. My in laws live out of country, Pesach I usually go to them for half and invite them to me for succos.

I do have friends over pretty often for a shabbos meal and eat by them also. We do a lot of “couple meals” that by now bh grew into “family meals”.
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amother




White
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 10:47 pm
Before we had kids which was a year after we got married we went for random meals probably twice a month. Once we had one and then two children we went once a month between in-laws and parents. After our third was born which was four years after we were married we barely went away. More likely to my in-laws once every six weeks when they invited us and my parents barely because they don’t invite and I never know if my mother really wants us there when we do have the option to go. Now that I have 4 kids married eight years we go maybe twice a year to my in-laws and just for yom tov to my parents. I love being home. Also would love company but we have no one to invite 😞 And the two couples that we do have the invite never want to come…
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:07 pm
Married almost 12 years bh. We go away whenever we need to due to simchas etc. A few times a year we'll drop into parents and in laws just because. (In laws much less than parents)
I love love to host and love company. I probably have company just about every 4-6 weeks.
I left too far from parents and laws to really sleep at home and eat there. In-laws an hour drive, parents are 15 minute drive but about a 2 hour walk. We only do the walk a few times a year. Mostly just move in since my parents have plenty of room.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:13 pm
8 years married and going away a fair amount of shabbosim. For entire Shabbos, mostly to my parents and in-laws. Only for meals, to sils and couple friend. Occasionally, in the summer, to a hotel with a few siblings.

I love hosting. My parents come once or twice a year. (Never yet hosted in-laws). Whenever I'm in the mood of company I check in with my husbands, his mood, and take it from there. It's mainly family that I host. Sometimes it's my 19 yr old bil along with 1-2 friends. It's nice.

ETA-this year alone, that I remember. One half succos to in-laws. Shabs Chanukah to in-laws. Shabs Purim to parents. One half Pesach to my parents. A shabs, some time after pesach, to my parents. Probably more shabbosim, but can't remember, to my parents.
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Redbird




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:14 pm
Haven't gone anywhere in probably two years. I used to go maybe 2x times a year, but haven't gotten back into it since covid.
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boysrus




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:22 pm
never Sad
dh doesnt like going anywhere...
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amother




Lilac
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:25 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I wanted to make some sort of poll, but as I’m typing this out I realized how many options there are... so please just take the time to post!

How often do you go away for Shabbos? Is it the whole Shabbos? Or you usually just go for a meal and sleep at home? You mostly go to parents/in-laws? Or family friends? How many years are you married?
My parents/in-laws live out of the country so we spend yom tov together twice a year. Now with covid, it’s even less.... besides for my parents/in- laws, we were probably invited out for Shabbos 4 times in the past 5-6 years. I am married almost 10 years and have 4 adorable, non-home-wrecking children.

I will be blunt and honest. Most of the hosting I have been doing over my married life is single family members who (obviously) do not host us back.


Does anyone actually consider a meal out to be going away for Shabbos?

When we were married w/o kids we'd go stay with family or friends sometimes. Now with a few kids nobody really wants us and frankly I'm happiest sleeping in my own bed. If we happen to be away on a summer vacation, then we are technically away for Shabbos wherever we are on vacation, but it's not like a family is hosting us.
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alwayssmiling




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 06 2021, 11:26 pm
boysrus wrote:
never Sad
dh doesnt like going anywhere...

Yeah I identify with that. I host tons but other then parents dh won't go anywhere. He says he likes his own table and when he wants to flatter - his wife's cooking
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Fri, May 07 2021, 11:26 am
Depending on time of year, once every few months. Our kids are all MWC. For now some of them still invite us, though as B"H the young families grow and their living spaces get tighter, the possibilities for us to visit shrink. COVID has messed things up, too--we haven't seen one of our kids at all since last summer. One of our kids has zero space for guests so they can only come to us . When we go to our kids, it's usually for Shabbos, arrive Friday and leave Sunday morning. Going for just a meal or a couple of hours isn't practical due to the travel distances involved.

We don't ever do Shabbos in a hotel or anything like that.
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amother




Tan
 

Post Fri, May 07 2021, 11:28 am
Twice a year
My baby doesn't sleep if we go away
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amother




Natural
 

Post Fri, May 07 2021, 2:52 pm
Never
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rainbow dash




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 6:24 pm
Married 17 years, I live in the same building as my mil and she hasnt hosted for several years. I have no parents. Closest family is in Israel. I haven't been there in 3 years.

I haven't been to my sil in 2 years cause of covid.
Twice a year we get invited out to one family friend.
I host my mil a lot during the year. This past peasch she ate by us every meal.
Cause of covid we haven't hosted friends.
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amother




Red
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 6:38 pm
We go on a Shabbaton/hotel 1-2 year with organizations or Yeshivos that DH and I have been involved with. Definitely involves working but still enjoyable. Very rarely go out for meals but often invite singles and families (pre Corona)...
Married about 20 years
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mig100




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 11:17 pm
About 5 times since succos
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 11:26 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
Does anyone actually consider a meal out to be going away for Shabbos?


When you rarely go away for Shabbos and would love a change of pace, being invited out for a meal is more exciting.
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amother




Teal
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 11:29 pm
As a family, maybe twice in 5 years. We have 4 kids and they are B”H amazing and super well behaved and helpful. But still! Why would I want to be a burden? Sometimes we go on trips ourselves and I make all the food. Much more pleasant.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, May 08 2021, 11:32 pm
So far this year (since September):

Went to my sister in Lakewood for Shabbos
Went for Shabbos day meal to a friend
Went to mom for 1 meal on succos and 2 meals on pesach.
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