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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:03 pm
My son hates taking showers. We decided together he'll take on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week. He's out of the house from 8-10 every night. What should I do when he comes home Monday night and tells me he's too tired to shower he needs to go to sleep or he won't be able to learn well tomorrow?
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:05 pm
Now it’s ok. But when the weather gets warmer daily shower is non negotiable
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momtra




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:06 pm
How old is he?
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:07 pm
My son tells me he's too tired and he'll shower in the morning, so I tell him the first time is a test to see if he'll actually get up early to shower, and if not, he has to take the shower at night no matter what.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My son hates taking showers. We decided together he'll take on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week. He's out of the house from 8-10 every night. What should I do when he comes home Monday night and tells me he's too tired to shower he needs to go to sleep or he won't be able to learn well tomorrow?


Hygiene is just as important as learning.
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abaker




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:11 pm
I'd suggest a 2 minute shower. Shampoo your hair and loofah with body wash then rinse. Literally 2 minutes. Brush teeth and into clean pajamas for the night.
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challahchallah




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:48 pm
Can he shower before he leaves at 8?
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 10:56 pm
I suggested taking before 8 pm he really didn't want to. He leaves at 7:30 in the morning so no time to shower then either.
Going to have to have another discussion with him about this.
Just wondering what most people would do in the moment - insist on shower or let him go to bed. The other problem tonight is that the bathroom wasn't available, he would've had to wait probably 10-15 min till he could go in.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 11:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I suggested taking before 8 pm he really didn't want to. He leaves at 7:30 in the morning so no time to shower then either.
Going to have to have another discussion with him about this.
Just wondering what most people would do in the moment - insist on shower or let him go to bed. The other problem tonight is that the bathroom wasn't available, he would've had to wait probably 10-15 min till he could go in.


If its an occasional happening, I'd let a child to bed. But you've said that this is an issue for him, so I'd get him into the habit of taking a quick shower, no matter how tired he is. You can leave the timing up to him - early morning, before 8 pm or when he comes home at 10, but not showering is not negotiable.

Hygiene is something that every child needs to master. I can just picture his future wife on this board asking for advice how to get her husband to shower so she can be comfortable with him.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 11:09 pm
I’ll be the first lone one to say differently. You cant force it.

I also believe that at least for me sleep is more important and hygiene is a feeling to develop a consciousness about internally. When its forced he won’t be doing the showering and caring about hygiene from an internal place so it wont last.
He will care about hygiene at some point due to comfort and there’ll be peer pleasure.
So I’d let it go sometimes. I would still mention it but not make a fight of it or be fixed about it. A general awareness of the importance of showering and let it go. Educate don’t legislate is my motto. And honestly I do this with my 10 yr old.

And I should mention I’m not American born so I have a different cultural approach to showering. So gasp. ... it may not apply to y’all.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 10 2021, 11:33 pm
You have to force it. Yes, some people have an innate feeling of wanting to have good hygiene but some don't and you have to force it or else they will never develop it.
How many women come here to complain that their husband never showers?
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Portobello




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 11 2021, 1:10 am
Force him. Maybe have him join a basketball team or something sporty so he'll realize he need one.
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oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 11 2021, 7:46 am
Also try to have the shower free when he comes home so he can take one right away.
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monseymom25




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 11 2021, 9:02 am
Can you change anything about his schedule? A shower is important. If he’s too tired maybe he should leave at 930 instead of 10. Then he’ll be able to shower and get enough sleep.
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Tue, May 11 2021, 9:07 am
A shower is non-negotiable. Either before 8 or after 10 but it has to happen.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post Tue, May 11 2021, 9:12 am
So I’ll remain the lone dissenting opinion.
I don’t believe in force. Educate not legislate. Encourage, and as someone suggested, make sure bathroom is available. Brainstorm for ideas to make showering easier and more enticing. But I would never force or make it into a power struggle.
I follow Ross Greenes approach and this is not something I would fight about. Perhaps its because I have strong willed kids.
I don’t think the risk of being one of those men who don’t shower and their wives complain is cause for hysteria if my teenager skips a shower when he is exhausted.
If when he is sweaty and gross after exercising, he still doesn't want a shower Id be concerned,.. but an occasional priority of sleep isn't alarming to me.
And I’m OK being a lone vocal voice on this.
As I said -Im not from N. America, so it may be cultural.
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