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S/O Tuition, Family Size

 
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 5:41 am
On the tuition thread, it's been said that "it's manageable if you have 1 to 2 kids."

Has the cost of tuition ever been a factor in limiting your family size?

Are there other financial factors in Jewish life that influence your family size?

If you are blessed with bli ayin hara many children, and are on a tight budget, how do you get them all through school?
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amother




Navy
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 6:12 am
That is a big part of my emuna and bitachon nisayon. My husband is a strong believer that Hashem will provide for all your children if you believe in Him. Future money should not be a factor in deciding if to have another child.
(I say future money because if we can't afford the pregnancy, birth and post birth then that's something else)
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 7:34 am
Yes. Not having more kids because of tuition Sad
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:06 am
People have long joked that tuition is the main form of birth control in the MO community. Look, it's hard, and I'm not going to second guess anyone's choices.

I think if, as a community, we spent more money supporting elementary and high schools and less on some other causes, we could do better. It's a question of priorities.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 9:41 am
100% it stopped me.

Now at 40 I regret it letting it control me but I just couldn’t get past the how can I pay tuition for 12 yrs and then pay for a wedding (and more if it’s a girl).

Not only did it stopped me but also made me spread out my kids further then I would’ve liked.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 9:44 am
I know of two families who moved to israel for this reason. And they ended up having larger families than they mught have had before back in america.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 9:45 am
Coming from a yeshivish background, of all factors, money is not one I take into account when deciding whether to have another child or not.

Physical, mental, emotional health. Yes. Money- No.

That being said, I have a small family due to other factors beyond my control.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 9:52 am
No. BH we earn more than enough for our relatively low tuition costs for a much bigger family than ours. We got married later than most, which has been the biggest factor limiting our family size, combined with what we feel we can handle in terms of energy and well-being. We have three children, 7 and under, and I am expecting our fourth at age 39.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:05 am
We did not, but now that we're at the stage of marrying off older children while still paying tuition for the younger ones, it's all catching up to us.

We moved OOT for cheaper housing but it also means we have to send our kids away for HS. We have zero in savings and high credit card debt. My second daughter is entering 9th grade and I have no idea what happens now. Where do we come up with an extra $12,000 a year on top of what we're already paying?

We are very happy living a minimalist lifestyle with few possessions. But these are expenses I have no control over. By the time tuition is paid there's little left for rent, utilities or food.

I can't say I regret having any of my kids ch"v. I just have no idea what happens now. We've hit a brick wall.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:11 am
delete
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 11:59 am
Indirectly yes.

My husband has sever anxiety and depression which is triggered by financial stress.

We space our kids and have a small-ish family because of his mental health issues, potentially not being able to provide for our family is a real stress for him......
(Yes he is on meds and in therapy)
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 12:57 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
100% it stopped me.

Now at 40 I regret it letting it control me but I just couldn’t get past the how can I pay tuition for 12 yrs and then pay for a wedding (and more if it’s a girl).

Not only did it stopped me but also made me spread out my kids further then I would’ve liked.

What would you advise your own kids now?
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 1:06 pm
amother [ Seashell ] wrote:
Coming from a yeshivish background, of all factors, money is not one I take into account when deciding whether to have another child or not.

Physical, mental, emotional health. Yes. Money- No.

That being said, I have a small family due to other factors beyond my control.


But not having money effects Physical, mental, emotional health.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 1:08 pm
Yes.

Being able to properly support children is a factor in number of children. There is more than just tuition that requires money for children - medical care; braces; healthy food are all expensive.

Being able to parent children properly is also a factor. Having parents who have the time and emotional energy to be "present" is a factor.

I also do not want to rely on my children supporting me in retirement so saving for retirement and having savings for emergencies of life is also a factor in determining the appropriate size for my family. I am not sure if there is a hecksher for cat food. Very Happy
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 1:14 pm
Daycare prices are definitely are factor. More expensive than tuition where I live.
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