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Going to have a preemie, how to divide the time?

 
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Beingreal




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 7:49 pm
I am 33 weeks pregnant and I ruptured early this week. I have been on bedrest in the hospital and they want to induce me on Monday at 34 weeks. The baby will have to be in the icu for 2 weeks at least. How do you divide the time between the baby and the other kids at home?
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 7:51 pm
I don't know but hatzalah rabba, hoping everything goes well. May you and baby have a speedy recovery
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amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:06 pm
Find out how many visitors are allowed. Covid means visitors are limited. My children’s hospital (where I work) allows 3 per patient, all at one or rotating. So, example, mom, dad and grandma. Hopefully the people on the list can rotate and perhaps the baby won’t need the NICU for very long (my 35 weeker didn’t need it at all, for example) best of luck
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:15 pm
I wouldn't worry about rotations. NICU babies are too young to be scared and anxious in the hospital and the nurse to baby ratio is generally low so they get great care. That being said, baby needs regular bonding time with Mom for healthy development. With my latest NICU baby, I left for the hospital early every day to be there for morning rounds. My husband sent kids off to school and I made sure to be back for when they came home from school
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987gold




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:20 pm
Beshaa tova. Feel good. Everything should go good for you and baby iyH. If it's a boy, I have a tiny outfit gift for you if your in brooklyn. IyH healthy mommy and baby iyH. Let us know what happens. I stocked on some really small baby gifts.
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cbsp




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:44 pm
Hugs.

Just want to mention you should cheshbon your own recovery in your calculations...

Bshaah tovah umitzlachas (whatever the sha'ah)
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:47 pm
As an experienced premie mom... (1) you come first. Do whatever is easiest for your recovery. Going back and forth is very rough. (2) don’t be surprised if baby is too weak to nurse. Ask about your pumping options if you want to (3) most Nicu’s have a parent home where you can sleep in if you want. I camped out about half the time because I didn’t have energy to shlep back and forth . (4) 34 weeks is a great gestation. Iyh you shouldn’t have a long nicu stay.
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amother




Purple
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 8:53 pm
My preemie was in the NICU for three months and honestly I didn't go back to visit till about 2-3 weeks postpartum because I had a c section and needed to recover. But my husband went every day. Once I started going, we alternated depending on our schedules, at least one of us per day, sometimes both if we were able to get a sitter. We rarely stayed more than 3 hours at a time, more often 1.5-2 hours. It gets very boring and monotonous... We said a lot of tehilim and caught up on phone calls etc.
The kangaroo time was very important, but we didn't really have the time for more than an hour or so each day to do that. It was what it was. Bh! And it's now a year later bh and our preemie is long well adjusted to our family life and us :-)

I know that was a ramble, but hope it helps!
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 9:00 pm
I had the easiest recovery with my two preemies. Even though they were both born via C-section and the shlepping back and forth was exhausting, being able to get a solid nights sleep for the first month or two was great for my body. So make sure to take advantage while your baby is in the hospital. Also, to reiterate, 34 weeks is an ok age. Especially since this isn't a sudden labor so you've probably gotten steroids to develop baby's lungs.
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amother




Wine
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:16 pm
Most important tip I ever got when my preemie was in the NICU - spend as much time as possible holding the baby. If you cant hold due to size ( although at 34 weeks it shouldn't be a problem) rub the babies arms and legs in the bassinet.
Many preemies have sensory issues later in life and this will really help.
I made sure someone was with my baby for at least a few hours a day. I know in the moment it is difficult but time invested into them those first few weeks is priceless!
My preemie was my oldest though kh so no advice on how to split the time...
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amother




Wine
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:19 pm
Oh, and if you plan to breastfeed, most hospitals have hospital grade pumps you can use which help get much more milk. They also have pump supply packages they can give you.
If you are nursing, it's important to wake up every 3 hours or so at night to pump. The NICUs tend to schedule the babies on 3 hour schedules so your little one will iyh be used to that when he comes home.
Hatzlacha! 34 weeks bh is far enough along that all should be good. Iyh for a healthy mommy and baby
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amother




Ruby
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:27 pm
My advise as I work in NICU,
Make sure you can access a pump if you plan to breastfeed. Talk to a lactation consultant if needed, the earlier the better. Depending on baby’s size, they may not need much intervention at all. You may be able to stay and do kangaroo care all day. If you want to participate in medical rounds but cannot be at the hospital, make a request that the bedside nurse or physician will call you and put you on speaker phone so you can participate.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 10:52 pm
When u had a preemie, I went while the kids were in school and was home by the time they got home. Dh went to be with the baby for a couple of hours after work. I also had a 34 weeker and he was only in the nicu for 2 weeks, obviously things look different when it's longer term. Also, while I was at the nicu is when I was able to pump well because I was right next to my baby and had access to the hospital pump, so that was nice. Once he came home, he transitioned to nursing directly and it worked out fine.
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amother




Khaki
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 11:15 pm
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Most important tip I ever got when my preemie was in the NICU - spend as much time as possible holding the baby. If you cant hold due to size ( although at 34 weeks it shouldn't be a problem) rub the babies arms and legs in the bassinet.
Many preemies have sensory issues later in life and this will really help.
I made sure someone was with my baby for at least a few hours a day. I know in the moment it is difficult but time invested into them those first few weeks is priceless!
My preemie was my oldest though kh so no advice on how to split the time...

This! Best piece of advice!
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amother




Khaki
 

Post Thu, May 13 2021, 11:27 pm
I have 3 preemies, so can speak from experience. A 34 weeker is a great gestational age and hopefully things will go smooth. You may be home faster then 2 weeks. Prioritize spending the most time possible in the NICU, or have someone else spend time for you in the NICU. The babies with the strongest parental presence get the better care. I know it hurts to hear it but it’s unfortunately true. Not all nurses take good care of the babies. Some are great but some are really neglectful unfortunately. Especially a bigger baby like a 34 weeker who can cry and be more needy really benefits from having a parent there to hold them and advocate for them. It’s great to be home when your kids come home from school so they feel some semblance of normalcy. In general I would divide the time with a priority to being in in the NICU Vs the older kids as it’s a short period of time and your older kids aren’t in as vulnerable and fragile state as your premature baby. There is a lot of research on the trauma that preemies go through and your presence and ability to hold your baby can go a long way in avoiding that. Talk to your baby, sing to your baby and do kangaroo care. Hopefully you and your baby will be home before too long. Good luck!
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amother




Silver
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 9:33 pm
Did you have a baby? How is everything? Boy/girl? Weight? When did you actually guve birth?
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Beingreal




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 9:56 pm
I did! They induced me week 34 and it's a baby girl! She did have to stay in the hospital for a bit and I am still overwhelmed trying to juggle the house kids and me. She is doing great!
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amother




Silver
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 10:16 pm
Mazel tov! Sounds like you are doing great! Take care of yourself! Feel good
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