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Rabbi gave my 10 year old a 5$, sounds spooky to me
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:22 pm
My son came home with a five dollar bill his rabbi gave him. First he isn't want to tell me y but later hi told me his rabbi called him out and told him how much he's shtieging and gave him the money. Doesn't it sound fishy?
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cnc




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:25 pm
My son's Rebbeim and teachers give money as rewards. I think it's weird but apparently, it's normal in the yeshiva culture.
The fact that he didn't want to tell you is what would raise a red flag.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:25 pm
Rebbe's give money sometimes instead of prizes. I never understand where that money comes from. My son's rebbe gives prizes I can't even afford to buy regularly.
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Amelia Bedelia




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:25 pm
What's fishy? My kids have gotten small amounts of money from their rebbeim.
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amother




Linen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:26 pm
My kids sometimes get like that, I don't know, whatever, I don't want to talk about it... it doesn't always mean it's fishy. If you are concerned call the teacher or principal for a proper explanation.
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amother




Gold
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:28 pm
I get your concern. Are you worried that your child is being groomed?
If so, it wouldn't be a one time occurrence.
I would talk more to your kid- find out if the rebbi gives kids things a lot, or treats some kids differently than others etc
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:29 pm
OP are you worried that he's "grooming" your son? I can understand that. Find out if this rebbe gives $ and incentive for learning and see if that helps you feel better.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:30 pm
Thanks , I feel better. I never heard bef a rabbi giving $ as reward, but I guess it is a thing. The not wanting to tell me was with a smirk more like to make me more curious kinda thing
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:31 pm
avrahamama wrote:
OP are you worried that he's "grooming" your son? I can understand that. Find out if this rebbe gives $ and incentive for learning and see if that helps you feel better.

Yeah, exactly what my concern is
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:34 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks , I feel better. I never heard bef a rabbi giving $ as reward, but I guess it is a thing. The not wanting to tell me was with a smirk more like to make me more curious kinda thing


So when my son first got money I was so shocked. I was like how could we take money from our rebbe??? How can he afford to give such an incentive. My son also felt bad taking money from his rebbe.

The smirk might have been a bit of a guilty or nervous feeling for accepting money...
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:41 pm
I would have my son return the money (my mother said I should give it back to you) and give my son $5 from MY pocket.
Oh and I would call the rebbe and say my son will be returning the 5 dollars to him, I wouldn't say anything else. Actions speak louder than words.
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amother




Brown
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:42 pm
Ask him questions about it like who else already got money from rebbe ever.
Did the rebbe give it to you in front of the whole class or in private so “nobody gets jealous”.
Etc
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amother




Orange
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:43 pm
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
I would have my son return the money (my mother said I should give it back to you) and give my son $5 from MY pocket.
Oh and I would call the rebbe and say my son will be returning the 5 dollars to him, I wouldn't say anything else. Actions speak louder than words.


Why? This sounds humiliating.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:46 pm
My husband is a rebbe, he and the other rebbeim and the menahalim all give out small amounts of money at times for prizes. My husband is into coins so he’ll often give a half dollar or some other cool coin.

Being a rebbe nowadays is all about the prizes, and he tries not to use too much junk...

They really try to make the boys enjoy the learning and the school experience, and in general make it a happy place.

Kids feel great when they get some actual money. Even if it’s a quarter. (And yes I’ve seen this with my own kids all the time)
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:47 pm
I questioned him a little, he sometimes give dollar Bill's but never 5. And he gave it to him in the hallway. I asked him if he feels his rabbi likes him, his answer, sometimes yes and sometimes not. I don't know what to think and I don't wanna do extreme actions as sending it back
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amother




Brown
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:48 pm
Is he the type to negotiate? Maybe the rebbe gave him a dollar and he begged for more? That’s why he hesitated telling you about it?
I can see my son doing that!
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I questioned him a little, he sometimes give dollar Bill's but never 5. And he gave it to him in the hallway. I asked him if he feels his rabbi likes him, his answer, sometimes yes and sometimes not. I don't know what to think and I don't wanna do extreme actions as sending it back


You can reinforce the safety talk but it sounds like rebbe just wanted to encourage him. Keep an eye an ear out like you already are. BZH he will shteig beautifully prize or not!
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:52 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Is he the type to negotiate? Maybe the rebbe gave him a dollar and he begged for more? That’s why he hesitated telling you about it?
I can see my son doing that!

Ha ha yes its him. Didn't think of this
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:53 pm
I think that the rebbe for some reason felt that your son needed a little more Chizuk and a bigger prize. Therefore he gave it to him in the hallway so the other boys shouldn’t see and be jealous.

I would get nervous if the rebbe was spending lots of extra time with your ds or went places just him and your ds. Or if this is happening very often.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:54 pm
Totally normal by us yeshivish OOTers. Btw for those wondering, sometimes Rebbeim get people to sponsor the prizes.
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