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Rabbi gave my 10 year old a 5$, sounds spooky to me
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:54 pm
avrahamama wrote:
Rebbe's give money sometimes instead of prizes. I never understand where that money comes from. My son's rebbe gives prizes I can't even afford to buy regularly.


My husband spends lots of his own money on prizes... it’s part of the job!
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:56 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
My husband spends lots of his own money on prizes... it’s part of the job!


May he be repaid in gashmius and ruchnius millionfold!!

I taught for a while but was very cheap with prizes. I gave experiences instead. I really couldn't afford to keep up with prizes...
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:57 pm
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
I would have my son return the money (my mother said I should give it back to you) and give my son $5 from MY pocket.
Oh and I would call the rebbe and say my son will be returning the 5 dollars to him, I wouldn't say anything else. Actions speak louder than words.


Omg. That’s horrible. The rebbe is trying his hardest to get through to the boys without punishing or being negative. He’s probably spending his one money on prizes and thought that this was the way to get through to this particular boy. Maybe, in your opinion, he misjudged. But why belittle him in that way?!?
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, May 24 2021, 7:58 pm
avrahamama wrote:
May he be repaid in gashmius and ruchnius millionfold!!

I taught for a while but was very cheap with prizes. I gave experiences instead. I really couldn't afford to keep up with prizes...


Amen! He also has a lot of programs and prizes that don’t cost him money, but nowadays it’s hard to get away with too little
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SwissAlps




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 3:09 am
I was told that for anything I buy for my class I could use maaser money. Perhaps some of these teachers use this as well.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 7:23 am
It's very normal - boys value monetary prizes more than chatchkes at that age.
My 12 year old got 100 shekalim from his rebbi for memorizing a daf of gemarah.
The rebbi knew that it would make my son feel very accomplished but that he also needed a big motivator to do it.
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 7:38 am
Maybe it is because I am not in this Yeshivish world, or maybe because my DH used to prosecute special victims/child abuser, but this sounds like a red flag to me. I don’t know what your next step with the rebbe/school should be, but I would definitely talk to your son about personal safety and be on high alert. Additionally, he may or may not be grooming multiple boys so it may or may not just be him with this treatment and also be on alert that even if your son is safe after your talk, you don’t want the child next to him not to be.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 7:38 am
As boys get older they get $ for prizes. Usually in the form of sefarim in my boys' yeshiva.
Around 7th grade and up they are offered larger amounts.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 7:43 am
I also thought it was weird the first time my son came home with money. But now my 2nd son also comes home with money. And from other rebbes/teachers. I think it's standard.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 7:49 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
I also thought it was weird the first time my son came home with money. But now my 2nd son also comes home with money. And from other rebbes/teachers. I think it's standard.


Same. I’m used to it by now. It actually IS pretty standard in my boys typical yeshivish yeshiva. Everyone gets x amount of money for knowing y amount of material... one of my sons has a really good memory and probably earned at least $300 over his years at elementary school...
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 8:00 am
I know it sounds fishy, but as others said, it's really common.

I know in a lot of communities, people who work and are well off will sponsor "a day of learning in the memory of Mr. and Mrs. Cohen (or whoever)" or for a refuah sheleimah for someone. That money goes to the boys who learn extra hard that day, because they want the zechus for the person named. I think it's a lovely program.

When kids start going into their pre-teens and older, it gets harder to motivate them. Nosh and Dollar Tree toys just don't cut it anymore. They want to feel accomplished, and earning money is the way that the general culture recognizes that. As long as the rebbes make sure that the money is a reward, and that learning Torah is not "a job", it's all good.

That said, with any kid, be on the lookout for red flags in any situation that triggers a gut feeling - just because we are still in galus, and there are bad people out there.

May Hashem protect all of our children, and may we only see rewards for them!
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 8:25 am
My husbands/sons school gives money for perks I’m of Chumash learned. Daf of Gemara. My son who graduated elementary recently made hundreds of dollars over his years in school.

I see rebbeim giving out money all the time. Totally totally normal!
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 9:07 am
I feel like Rebbeim can't win. When they're 6 and 7, flashlights and erasers work. But kids want more.
Parents complain about the soda cans and danishes so the Rebbeim are giving the money.
But now parents are complaining about money.
My son's Rebbi offers class hikes and baseball games as big rewards and parents complain.
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 9:18 am
My youngest is graduating HS in 3 weeks. My children have never been given money. They haven’t been given briber prizes like described above either. This is so foreign to me.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 9:31 am
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
My youngest is graduating HS in 3 weeks. My children have never been given money. They haven’t been given briber prizes like described above either. This is so foreign to me.


What community do you live in?
I find no prizes hard to believe.
My 1st grader has a homework chart (20 stamps for a prize) a "finger on the place during davening and Chumash" chart (100 stickers). In addition, his Rebbi has various motivation contests over the year- clean up after recess and lunch, middos, kriah, etc
My 7th grader has chazara contests and independent learning programs and there are school wide and city wide Shnayim Mikra for prize contests
Also a national masmid Govoha contest that boys win cash prizes and seforim.
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bigsis144




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 10:00 am
My son’s Rebbe (5th grade) gives $5 Amazon gift cards.

We’re an OOT school where parental internet use is common and expected, and I like this system because the child doesn’t get untraceable cash.

Sometimes my son asks to redeem the gift card for cash, so I add the gift card to my account to spend on whatever and give him a $5 bill myself. But I always know how and when he gets a reward from his teacher, and I like being able to add my own praise when I find out!


Last edited by bigsis144 on Tue, May 25 2021, 10:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 10:06 am
bigsis144 wrote:
My son’s Rebbe gives $5 Amazon gift cards.

We’re an OOT school where parental internet use is common and expected, and I like this system because the child doesn’t get untraceable cash.

Sometimes my son asks to redeem the gift card for cash, so I add the gift card to my account to spend on whatever and give him a $5 bill myself. But I always know how and when he gets a reward from his teacher, and I like being able to add my own praise when I find out!


Over corona lockdown, my kids got a lot of Judaica gift cards. Easier to mail and track
I was thrilled. They saved it. The older ones bought seforim, but the younger ones were able to buy themselves books and "Jewish games and puzzles" that last way longer than erasers and super balls.
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mommyhood




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 10:07 am
My boys get money from the Rebbi but it's for specific actions/accomplishments. It comes from the school and it's not random, they know exactly what they need to do to earn it. I like this system, I don't think I would like it if they're given money for something not as concrete. I wouldn't be too concerned that anything bad happened but I would call the Rebbi to clarify.
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Sesame




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 10:12 am
Totally normal in my circles
My hubby also gets money incentives/prizes (or whatever you want to call it) in kollel too!
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 10:25 am
keym wrote:
What community do you live in?
I find no prizes hard to believe.
My 1st grader has a homework chart (20 stamps for a prize) a "finger on the place during davening and Chumash" chart (100 stickers). In addition, his Rebbi has various motivation contests over the year- clean up after recess and lunch, middos, kriah, etc
My 7th grader has chazara contests and independent learning programs and there are school wide and city wide Shnayim Mikra for prize contests
Also a national masmid Govoha contest that boys win cash prizes and seforim.

Teaneck.
In early elementary school they did get tickets which they could redeem 2-3 times a year for oriental trading prizes at the prize fair. But the tickets were given to everyone usually for behavior or ideally to when the teacher was asking questions and each child got called on once to participate and got one for participation.
I remember my child being disappointed because she has 42 tickets and her friend had 44 because she was absent a few days and tickets were given out in those. (The prizes were pencils, stickers, erasers, bracelets and bouncy balls that you could redeem the for)

My children never got money or a prize bigger than above.
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