How to sleep train my 5 m.o. with minimal crying

amother

Tue, May 25 2021, 5:35 pm

I am against sleep training. I am against CIO. I nurse on demand. I co-sleep. I nurse side-lying in bed while I sleep. I can't anymore.

This kid (not my first, not my second, etc. k"ah) is not giving me more than an hour at a time to sleep without him attached. He naps 30-45 minutes average, sometimes 15, max an hour, so I can't even nap because he's awake by the time I fall asleep. He's been this way since he was born with very few unpredictable exceptions.

Any youtube links, books, or if you could type up your method in short in a post will be appreciated.

I understand any sleep-training involves some crying, and there's no choice with that, but I want minimal because there's no way I'll be able to follow through if he cries for too long. Thanks for helping out this sleepless mama.

amother

Tue, May 25 2021, 7:52 pm

I can imagine some more docile babies can be sleeptrained without crying but not my baby, so I'm being realistic. I checked out the site you mention and she also says the baby will cry.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, May 25 2021, 8:00 pm

Does your baby take a mam pacifier? When baby wakes up, try to stall feeding and give pacifier. Of course unless baby is actually hungry and maybe u need to supplement formula during the day. Keep increasing time between feedings and then baby will sleep longer unless there is another problem.

challahchallah

Tue, May 25 2021, 8:18 pm

I liked The Happy Sleeper. Yes, there’s crying, but you’re never just leaving your baby alone for very long. You’re always going in to reassure them. I continued to night feed with this method, but I found the wake-ups got a lot less frequent once they’re falling asleep independently at first.

raich

Wed, May 26 2021, 9:51 am

I have used the ideas from Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old and it worked beautifully for my kids. I have NOT sleep trained by 12 weeks (personally I feel that's too young) but I for sure trained at least 1 of my kids at around 5 months and I would highly recommend it.

https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-.....49593

I'm not sure how it would work if you're co-sleeping but it could be that the book would address that.

It does involve some crying but not more than 3-5 minutes at a time, and it helps the baby learn how to self-soothe with a caring parent nearby to offer support until they learn. I found it to be a kind, supportive way to teach kids to sleep well.

Good luck!

amother

Papaya

Wed, May 26 2021, 9:55 am

I second “12 hours by 12 weeks” but I also waited till 15 weeks to start the 4 hour stretches. That was the hardest part. Everything fell into place after that.
Idk if 4 hour will work for OP who is used to on demand feeding.
My baby is 18 mo old now and loves his sleep. Goes in smiling. Laughs while I sing shema and sleeps beautifully for 12-13 hours. I never had such a happy sleeper but then again this is my 1st that I sleep trained. Others were still waking up at a year..

amother

Lilac

Wed, May 26 2021, 10:35 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Don’t use the book” 12 hours by 12 weeks”.
Forcing babies to wait for four hours to eat is not fair and cruel to baby and isn’t recommended anymore. Demand feeding is best for babies.

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 11:14 am

12 hours by twelve weeks = the reviews say it's not good for breastfeeding only. it's good if bottle feeding also which I dont do and dont wanna do

raich

Wed, May 26 2021, 11:24 am

I don't follow everything she says from that book btw, just the bedtime routine and the self-soothing part. I feel like both of those can probably work very well for you even if you're exclusively breastfeeding.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, May 26 2021, 11:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I can imagine some more docile babies can be sleeptrained without crying but not my baby, so I'm being realistic. I checked out the site you mention and she also says the baby will cry.

The method is not about letting your baby cry to sleep, it’s mostly about what you do during the day that sets up your nights for success. implementing age appropriate wake windows during the day, helping you baby fall asleep independently etc.
I’ve yet to hear of a more baby/mom/breastfeeding friendly program. I highly recommend it.

amother

Pistachio

Thu, Jun 17 2021, 9:51 pm

Not op, but Desperate to night wean my 8 month old and get him to sleep through the night. I know he’s capable. Some nights will wake Evry 2-3 hours. Some nights will stretch 5-6. No pattern. Super random. So I’m at a loss, there are So many methods listed here.
How did you choose one?
I’m willing to pay for a course but I don’t know what to go with.
I don’t wanna do CIO. Want gentle method even if it takes a bit longer, which also sets a napping schedule for the day.

Any suggestions?

amother

Pistachio

Thu, Jun 17 2021, 9:53 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I used takingcarababies.com online course and got my baby to sleep 12 hours by 3 months old. No crying at all.

Checked out this website, looks interesting. Can I ask what made you choose this over so many other options ? Some other ones were more familiar. I haven’t heard of her

amother

Feverfew

Thu, Jun 17 2021, 9:56 pm

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

Are you feeding him when he wakes in middle of the night?

amother

Pistachio

Thu, Jun 17 2021, 10:05 pm

amother [ Feverfew ] wrote:

Are you feeding him when he wakes in middle of the night?

Yes I feed him. When I tried not feeding him, he woke completely and would be up until fed and fall back asleep. Not feeding him is not the route I want to go... tried cutting it by a minute evry night and that didn’t work either

challahchallah

Thu, Jun 17 2021, 10:14 pm

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

Is he falling asleep on his own? I used the “Happy Sleeper” book to teach my baby how to fall asleep independently, but there are many different ways to go about it. I found when I put baby down awake at the beginning of the night, it led to fewer night wakings. I felt that when my baby woke up after that, I knew it was really from hunger. I did eventually night-wean, but not until much older. For night weaning, I found sending in my husband to offer comfort was the best way. Baby was still getting comforted and safe, but it was clear nursing wasn’t happening.

Last edited by challahchallah on Thu, Jun 17 2021, 10:15 pm; edited 1 time in total