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7th Yahrtzeit of The Three Boys Hy"d
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:11 am
Today, Tes Vav Sivan is the 7th yahrtzeit of the three boys, Naftali Frankel, Gil-Ad Shaar, and Eyal Yifrach, Hashem yinkom damam.


THE BEGINNING

June 12, 2014 started off as a regular Thursday. For the eleventh graders of Yeshiva Mekor Chaim, it was their last day of school. Naftali Frankel and Gil-Ad Shaer, both 16, lived near each other, and decided to hitchhike home together. Carrying all of their belongings from yeshiva, they caught a ride from the Alon Shvut junction, together with Eyal Yifrach, a 19 year old yeshiva student in Shavei Chevron. It was not Eyal’s last day of school; he was simply trying to get home for Shabbos. The driver and passenger in the car wore yarmulkas, and the car had Israeli plates. They were not Jews, but Arab terrorists, determined to kidnap, hide, and torture Jews. The boys realized in minutes something was very wrong. Gil-Ad quietly called the police on his phone. When the kidnappers heard him call, they shot and murdered the boys. It was 10:30 p.m. The police dismissed the call as a prank and the call was ignored.
At midnight, some of the parents, Avi and Racheli Frankel, Ofir and Bat-Galim Shaer, and Uri and Irit Yifrach started getting nervous. Racheli said, “I was thinking in the direction of a car accident, but then everything unraveled very quickly.” After making some phone calls, the Frankels and Shaers discovered that their sons were together. The police were called, and the search began.


THE MIDDLE

For 18 days we waited. We added perakim of tehillim to every tefillah. We learned more and davened harder. Took on kabbalos. Brought in Shabbos early. Most of all, we worked on our Ahavas Yisrael.
On the first Friday, the families requested that everyone light early. “Candle lighting time has the power to bring salvation, and we ask everyone, even those who do not regularly pray, to pray for the success of the IDF in search of the missing boys. We ask all of Am Yisrael to pray for the three missing boys that they return home safely to their families.”
The 3 mothers were sources of strength. They stood up and spoke about emunah and trust and Hashem, time and again.
On the first Sunday, 25,000 gathered at the Kosel, to daven and sing. Irit Yifrach said, “I know that our children are on their way home. I feel it. I am very serene because God is watching over our children.
“I look at this test that God has set before me, and I pray that He will rescue my son Eyal and Gil-Ad and Naftali. This is a big test for all of us.”
Bat-Galim spoke: “We are going through a difficult time in these last few days and I want to hug the people of Israel with a big embrace, an embrace of gratitude. An embrace of prayer. Gil-Ad is strong, and I am sure that Naftali and Eyal are strong too…I want to ask the people of Israel to continue praying and being together. Continue giving that strength to our children, and with the help of God, with the power of this togetherness we will succeed.”
In the boys’ yeshivos, students learned and davened around the clock. “We are completely out of routine,” said Shavei Chevron Rosh Yeshiva Rav Chananel Etrog. “Now, when we need extra zechuyot, the bochurim have undertaken shifts to learn throughout the day and night.”
The parents spoke to their sons and the world through the media. Ofir Shaer said: “I’m waiting to wrap you in the tallis and make Bircas Kohanim and to protect you. I daven that we see all three of the boys here, quicky, beside us. All three, Gil-Ad, Naftali, and Eyal, are the children of all of us.”
Racheli Frankel said, “Naftali, your father and mother and siblings love you to no end. The nation of Israel is turning the world upside down in order to bring you home.”
While davening at the Kosel, a group of girls walked over to Racheli to tell her that they were davening for the boys’ safe return.
Racheli told them: “I believe with wholehearted faith that my Naftali will come home. But I want you to promise me, that no matter what happens, you won’t be crushed or broken, that you won’t lose faith. We must remember that Hashem is not our employee. He doesn’t always do as we wish.”
In an interview the next week she said, “We repeatedly requested people to pray, and people from different faiths, and people that are secular. They each have their own way of sending positive energy, whatever it takes, and prayer means a lot to me. I just want it clear and I kind of repeated myself a few times: Prayer is very powerful but it’s not a guarantee for anything.
“I didn’t know they were taking pictures then (at the Kosel) but I think the words they caught me saying were, “God doesn’t work for us.” Just because I’m praying with all my heart. It might help. I believe it could help, especially when thousands and millions are praying. They are. But nobody owes me anything. And if tomorrow, God forbid, I’ll hear the worst news, I don’t want my children to feel that where did all my prayers go? It was a group of children I don’t know and I feel a responsibility. God forbid, it shouldn’t be a crisis for them.”
Gil-Ad was an only boy with five sisters. Ofir Shaer said, “I cannot lose my only son.”
Eyal’s grandfather, R’ Amram Yifrach spoke. “Even though we must not be sad on the holy day, the thoughts come unbidden. Since he learns nearby, he always joins us for Shabbat meals when he stays in yeshivah. For the last two weeks, his seat has been empty and the thoughts keep haunting us: ‘Where is Eyal now? Is he being tortured? Is he screaming? Is he conscious? Is he even alive?
“Uri’s restraint and endurance is strengthening the rest of us. The rav of the community came to me and told me that until he saw me, he didn’t know where this powerful emunah peshutah comes from, and then he heard I came from Chevron-the land that was given as a gift for faith and fortitude.”
Some people focused on physical hishtadlus. A social media campaign was started - #BringBackOurBoys. The mothers traveled to Geneva to beg the international community to help bring their children home.
On Sunday night, June 29, a massive rally was held in Tel Aviv's Kikar Rabin square. 100,000 people sang and recited tehillim.


The mothers spoke. Irit Yifrach spoke to Eyal. “The whole nation is uniting, everybody is worried about you, waiting for you…I turn to our precious Am Yisrael-all types and stripes of Jews-we are going through this terrible time together. Let us all support one another."
Racheli spoke too. “Somewhere, there are three kids, living kids, not symbols. There is no chance any of us will give up. The love that we feel here is giving them life.”
The next day was Monday, June 30th. Israeli soldiers searching for the boys were enjoying a barbecue by Efrat residents when they received a call- "There's action in Halhul."
They dropped everything and ran to an abandoned field in Halhul, near Chevron.
In the early evening of June 30, the three boys' bodies were found, wounded but perfectly whole and unblemished, buried in a shallow grave near Chevron.


THE END
No words can describe the pain and shock that rocked the Jewish world. After 18 days of waiting, hoping, and praying, it was all over.
The funerals were held the next day, July 1st, Gimmel Tammuz.
Three separate levayos were held in Nof Ayalon, Talmon, and Elad. The funerals culminated in a joint funeral in Modiin, attended by 50,000 Jews.


Ofir Shaer spoke about Gil-Ad, his only son. “I sit in your room; I look at your bar mitzvah photo album, and refuse to digest it."
“My prayer shawl is orphaned, it envelopes your untarnished body before you are buried in the soil of the Israel you so loved. You are part of the family of Israel.”
Bat-Galim spoke. “We were so careful to spell your name Gil-Ad (eternal joy) instead of Gilad (memorial stone), yet that is what you became at the tender age of 16.
“I sit in your room and I can’t accept that our worst nightmare came true. Now we must give back the deposit, Gil-Ad."

Gil-Ad's counselor in yeshiva spoke.
"Gil-Ad,
I love you so much; I miss you so much, your smile, your lively spirit, your wonderful creativity.
"This year I was privileged to be Gil-Ad and Naftali’s counselor, I was privileged to get to know you at close hand, to talk with you, enjoy you, I studied with you within a small group every evening during the year.
"Since the kidnapping, I picture you all the time. When many times we used to get carried away in deep discussion of Chassidut, you just smiled the half-smile that is reserved for people who are in the know, you looked at me and just enjoyed the situation, and then you asked questions and took an interest and added your own contribution.
"You didn’t let things just pass you by, you lived them!
"Gil-Ad, one of the amazing things about you is how alive you were, full of life, colorful, excited. You would draw everyone after you with ideas that you had become enthusiastic about, whether they were big, important things or small, funny ones.
"It’s so hard to think about you in the past tense…"
Uri Yifrach spoke to Eyal for his wife and family.
"Eyal, our dear, beloved son; we love you, Eyal.
"It’s hard for Mom, she loves you so much; our Eyal, the righteous and holy Eyal.
"You had a special love in you for every person, whoever he was. You were always busy volunteering and helping those around you. You always volunteered for every task, you were always first to help and to contribute.
"You said to me more than once – if I’m asked, I can’t refuse. I have to help. If I’m asked, I do it. You were an example to your siblings and your friends.
"Everyone misses you, wants you near us, for you to come and hug your siblings and your mother.
“Your siblings want you near them…but Ima said that you are right now at God’s side. She asked that you whisper to God; ask Him to give her strength, to give us all strength. It will be difficult for us with out you. We need strength…you gave strength to so many people, now give us strength here at home as well. You are holy, you were holy in your life; you gave strength to so many people, now give us strength.”
The Frankels spoke. Avi said, “Mom and me and the rest of the family, we don’t forget not even for a moment, you’re our child, and you always will be. Rest in peace my dear son.”
Racheli gave a beautiful hesped.

(https://youtu.be/L5WQ3RhFJs4)

"Our beloved Naftali,
Charming, happy, cynical; a boy who knows prayer; a sophisticated boy; a boy who is innocent…you taught your fingers to play, upright and handsome, you prepared for many more good years.
"You fulfilled your life's tafkid in the most magnificent way. 18 days of love. Of unity. Of Judaism and humanity, deep, strong, purifying.
"Everyone is saying you are destined for the World to Come. We are just grateful to have had you for so many years in This World."
"We cannot always change the gezeirah. For us it was too late. But the tze'akah, is worthwhile! Every tefillah accomplishes its goal. Not a drop of love or chessed is returned. The good is good in and of itself.
"This was not a random happenstance. These men went out to hunt, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu chose you as His "poster children" as the opposite of them. Of good, of innocence, of love.
"We beg, that it should remain after your burial the love that was."
Racheli addressed his yeshiva.
"To our beloved Mekor Chaim family: We so badly wanted the zechus to be part of you for another year."
She spoke to Naftali's friends.
"There is a special place for boys who know Torah and Shirah. Who teach their lips to bless and pray. Who accepted upon themselves the freedom- to love, to feel, to touch. To know, to unite, to connect."
Amid accusations of negligence and incompetence, she thanked the Police and the Army.
"Dear Soldiers, People of Modiin and the Police:
We are still so so grateful. You promised that you would find them and bring them back, and you brought them back. This too is a great chessed."
Standing before 50,000 Jews, she proceeded to publicly thank Hashem.
"From the first day we told ourselves, that even if it ends badly Hakadosh Baruch Hu has showered upon us an abundance of blessing. We are so rich. With magnificent sons. Parents with nobility of soul. Beautiful brothers and sisters. A strong and supportive community.”
"Rest in peace, my dear son. We will learn to sing without you. We will always hear your voice within us."
By the funeral in Modiin, the President and Prime Minister spoke. Rabbi David Lau, the Chief Ashkenazic Rabbi spoke. “Even if you cut off these three flowers you won’t succeed, because there’s a continuation. There’s Gil-Ad, Naftali and Eyal in all the people of Israel and the whole world.”
Addressing Hashem, he said, “No one can defeat this People, even in hard moments they stand before You in prayer…They don’t give up on an eternal tradition.”
The Sephardic Chief Rabbi recited Tzidduk Hadin, and the three fathers recited kaddish together over the flag wrapped bodies of their sons.

(https://youtu.be/evdTCrU083I)

The shiva was a study in diversity and achdus.
One visitor related:
"In one hour in Nof Ayalon, I saw a dizzying array of guests. Rav Avigdor Nebenzal, Rav of the Old City. 60 secular American adults spending the summer in Ohr Samei'ach. Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz, a parenting expert from America who dropped everything and flew to Eretz Yisrael to spend Shabbos with the families. Rabbi Aryeh Markman, representing the L.A. Jewish community. Most amazing, a group of Arabs from Chevron. This was all in one hour."
Then the shivah was over, and the families needed to deal with their grief.

THE AFTERMATH
Healing came slowly.
"It was overwhelming in the beginning. People came into our home immediately-the army, police, relatives, friends and neighbors. At first it was good to have people with us all the time, but then I couldn't get any private space. I couldn't even cry privately," said Irit Yifrach.
A month after the funeral, the Yifrachs finally found themselves alone.
"I saw his empty place at the Shabbat table and that's when it hit me. I knew we had to do something to pick up the pieces."
The Yifrachs-Uri, Irit, and their six surviving children-started therapy.
Irit said, “I came to understand that I was subconsciously looking for Eyal in the other kids. That isn’t okay, and I work hard not to do that now. Each of the kids has worked hard on defining their own identity separate from Eyal.”
Ofir Shaer chose a different path to healing. He enrolled in a video therapy course for bereaved fathers.
Bat-Galim found writing therapeutic. In the year following the tragedy, she kept a diary. 10 months after the attack, her son’s burnt and waterlogged diary was returned to them. They did not know he had been keeping a diary.
She published her diary, together with parts of his, in a book titled Mah Yeiled Yom-What the Day will Bring.
Racheli spoke about those 18 days on Naftali’s first yahrtzeit.
“I will tell you that during those days, I was very, very, focused, and I even asked myself, ‘Racheli, do you not love your child enough to fall apart?’
“But I want to explain how we were very mission-oriented and very focused. It actually surprised me that I could have much more control than I expected over my thoughts and where I’d let my mind wander. There’s a price to pay for negative thoughts-Are the boys alive? Are they together? Are they injured? Are they being fed? Are they being tortured?-any time these thoughts overtook me, my energy just drained out. Finished. The reaction to these negative thoughts was so immediate and so debilitating that it forced me to control them so that I could continue to function and care for my family.”
Now, Racheli says, it’s our job to move on.
“You cry when you cry, you laugh when you laugh, you give yourself permission. Over this year I’ve met many people who have experienced loss. Some say you’re not allowed to cry because you have to be strong for the people around you. And some say you’re not allowed to laugh because it would be a betrayal of your sorrow. And others say to put on a mask, to smile for the family and the world, even as you’re dying inside. Now, I give those mask-wearers a lot of credit, because it lets them function. But personally it’s not my thing or my husband’s thing to walk around with a mask. So my choice, if I don’t want the mask on my face, is to cry when I cry, to laugh when I laugh, to give my children permission to be happy and also to sometimes be sad. To paraphrase Parker Palmer, I can feel sorrow without becoming sorrow, and I can feel pain without becoming pain. In my inner landscape there are so many other colors and powers and blessings. It would be sheer ingratitude if I’d take this bucket of black paint and spill it all over my life.
“A few months ago my six year old daughter Naama saw me putting my makeup case in my bag for work. ‘Ima,’ she said innocently, ‘do you still only put on your makeup at work so that you can cry on the way?’
“I was happy she said that, because I wouldn’t want her to think it was business as usual. ‘You know, Naama,’ I told her, ‘it’s not that every day I cry the whole way, but I reserve the right to cry.’”
Naftali and Gil-Ad had just finished school, and had all their possessions on them.
“Everything was burned in the car, even his (Naftali’s) tefillin. There’s not a zecher of anything. So we have very few possessions left.”
Before leaving for Shabbos, Eyal left his journal, filled with chiddushei Torah, spiritual aspirations, and personal thoughts on a shtender in the bais medrash.
He wrote on Yom Hazikaron. “Go outside and breathe in the air, overcome, fall! Get up! Fall another 1,000 times! But know that if you fall 1,000 times it shows that you got up after every one of those times, it is a sign that you have the strength to get up.”
Gil-Ad’s diary was found 10 months later. The police worked on it in a lab for months to recover as much as they could.
Gil-Ad wrote a lot about the concept of joy, both internal and external.
“My name is Gil-Ad, and I’ve decided that I will always live in accordance with the meaning of my name. I always wanted to be in the happiest and funniest place. Today, I’m the one who makes people happy.”
“There’s something special about me!” he wrote. “At last I feel as if I’ve found something strong inside. A life force-that’s what I call it. It’s like a tremendous energy that finds its expression in great joy; it’s not for nothing that I was named Gil-Ad. I have an infinitely strong love for my family and friends, those who are close to me, and those who want me to be close to them. It makes me so happy.”
He wrote about tefillah.
“On Monday I was the baal tefillah for Shacharit and Minchah. Being the shaliach tzibbur for the minyan was an empowering and special experience. I was really excited by the davening, which I directed to the Ribbono Shel Olam. It felt pure and amazing. I wish all my tefillos would be like that. Sometimes I am late for davening or even miss minyan altogether, but today I decided to change that. I won’t let negativity take over. With Hashem’s help, I hope to succeed.”

On the day her son’s body was found, Irit Yifrach wrote a letter to all parents.

19 years ago, the Holy One, Blessed be He, granted us a soul.
The sun rose upon us.
We received from the Holy One a gift of joy, a gift of giving, a gift of love, a gift of humility, every good trait that a mother could dream her child would possess.
Eighteen days ago, the sun set, and the Holy One requested His gift back.
I want to request forgiveness form Eyal; I didn’t pray for him enough. I request forgiveness because I didn’t appreciate his high soul.
Our partnership with the Holy One hasn’t ended, it continues, even though He took back His part. Our partnership continues faithfully. Our role is to unify the Jewish People, to unify us within ourselves.
I don’t know what we would do without faith. Faith is our backbone. The heart is broken but our spirit is strong, unbroken.
I understand that there are levels of faith-the great test in this Divinely orchestrated series of events. The Holy One is checking us and testing us throughout our lives, all the time. It comes in stages.
The Holy One is saying to us: “You wanted, and I gave. Now let’s see what you do.”
And we are climbing up another level.
We believe that this is a test of faith, and each time it’s another new level. I pray to Hashem that he will give us the strength to understand His power. We’ve experienced one of the most intense tests of faith.
In these Yemos HaMashiach the Holy One shakes the rope and we hold on with two hands, not just a finger. That’s our Eyal, never giving up.
There were endless prayers here and Hashem saved us from uncertainty. We were certain they would return. And they returned. They returned.
They say our children are angels, our children were holy martyrs. Now I understand the perfection that was my son.
Now I pray from the bottom of my heart. Now Eyal is next to father. Father is hugging him. I am certain and convinced that our prayers were received. We have our own faithful representative, right next to Hashem. Eyal will know how to pray for us, how to request. Because he’s like that, doing everything until it’s done.
I am turning to the dear mothers: believe in the child that Hashem gave you. They are so great our children. We need to know how to appreciate this special gift, to use this time to the fullest!
The Holy One gave us these children, the opportunity to pray for them, to bless them, and to love them.
Rest in peace, my dear son.
Five year later, the families are actively working to create a new, happy reality.
“If we suffer," Irit says, “it won’t bring him back. We’ve decided to choose life.”
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:16 am
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:19 am
It still hurts.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:22 am
I remember how the bottom dropped out of my stomach when their bodies were found.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:23 am
DrMom wrote:
I remember how the bottom dropped out of my stomach when their bodies were found.

Me too. I had a physical pain in my stomach for the next week. Crying
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 11:52 am
Geulah now!!!
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 3:36 pm
It was a horrific, frenzied summer: the shock of the kidnappings right down the road from us, the intense public davenings, the army commandeering our town as a base for their operations during Operation Shuvu Achim which basically took over our lives for several weeks until they found the boys hy"d.
Then this segued into Operation Tzuk Eitan with the constant worry about the chayalim going into Gaza, the frustration with all the bad PR we were getting in the international arena and the rockets/sirens in the home front.
A crazy horrible time.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 3:48 pm
etky wrote:
It was a horrific, frenzied summer: the shock of the kidnappings right down the road from us, the intense public davenings, the army commandeering our town as a base for their operations during Operation Shuvu Achim which basically took over our lives for several weeks until they found the boys hy"d.
Then this segued into Operation Tzuk Eitan with the constant worry about the chayalim going into Gaza, the frustration with all the bad PR we were getting in the international arena and the rockets/sirens in the home front.
A crazy horrible time.

Wow you were so close...where do you live? I think the kidnapping took place near Alon Shvut.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:03 pm
Crookshanks wrote:
Wow you were so close...where do you live? I think the kidnapping took place near Alon Shvut.
It did. Anyone in the gush etzion area will say it was in their back yard.
Same with me. We also live in a yishuv in the gush. It was beyond anything that I had ever experienced. And when we pass the spot they were taken from every day, and when we heard where they were found, so close as well.
It was one terrible summer. A lot of trauma for many from that summer, with the boys and then the war.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:10 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
It did. Anyone in the gush etzion area will say it was in their back yard.
Same with me. We also live in a yishuv in the gush. It was beyond anything that I had ever experienced. And when we pass the spot they were taken from every day, and when we heard where they were found, so close as well.
It was one terrible summer. A lot of trauma for many from that summer, with the boys and then the war.

That's awful. I think the worst part that summer was the waiting. It was probably the longest 18 days in my life. I can't imagine what they were like for the boys' families and everyone who lived there.
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Jewishmom8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:13 pm
I will never forget telling my kids they died
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Goody2shoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:30 pm
Jewishmom8 wrote:
I will never forget telling my kids they died

yes and the way they looked at me and told me it cant be... we davened so hard.....WHY?WHY?
the why haunts me till now TMI TMI Crying
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:31 pm
I'm starting to cry again...all the feelings from that summer are coming back... Crying
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Goody2shoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:38 pm
the letter is so beautiful. these people are amazing. I always wonder where they get the strength from. I have challenges in life too but dont usually react with such an amount of emunah
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:45 pm
alwayssmiling wrote:
the letter is so beautiful. these people are amazing. I always wonder where they get the strength from. I have challenges in life too but dont usually react with such an amount of emunah

I wrote the article 2 years ago, but I think I still have the letter at home.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:47 pm
I can't believe it's 7 years.

My boys' school instituted an after school mishnayos program l'iluyi nishmas, which has been going strong ever since. Most of the boys now learning were too young to remember, but they are learning Torah every week because of them.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 4:53 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
I can't believe it's 7 years.

My boys' school instituted an after school mishnayos program l'iluyi nishmas, which has been going strong ever since. Most of the boys now learning were too young to remember, but they are learning Torah every week because of them.

That's beautiful. It should be a zechus for their neshamos, and healing for their families.
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Goody2shoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 5:18 pm
Crookshanks wrote:
I wrote the article 2 years ago, but I think I still have the letter at home.

I had no idea your a journalist. do you write for publications officialy?
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 5:22 pm
Crookshanks wrote:
That's beautiful. It should be a zechus for their neshamos, and healing for their families.


Amen!
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 5:26 pm
alwayssmiling wrote:
I had no idea your a journalist. do you write for publications officialy?

I'm not! Smile I wrote this for myself, to share with other people. I put it up here: https://zachorremember.wixsite.com/website
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