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Poll

If you wear a lace top wigs, what is your rational?
My rav says its ok  
 35%  [ 28 ]
I never asked a rav, I do what I want  
 25%  [ 20 ]
Everyone around me wears one (including my teachers and rebetzin) so I'm assuming it's fine  
 8%  [ 7 ]
I already have one and it would be a waste of $ to get rid of it  
 7%  [ 6 ]
Be happy my hair is even covered  
 22%  [ 18 ]
Total Votes : 79


amother




OP
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:27 am
I'm not at all here to judge, just want to get a picture of what's going on.
We all know many rabannim assured the lace top wigs, so for those of you who wear a lace top wig, what is your reason for thinking it is ok?
I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women in this mitzva. I'm wondering what it would take.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:31 am
Lace top wigs have been out for years.
I haven’t bought a new wig in years so don’t have one. But I feel bad for those who have.
Out of my yeshivish/chassidish siblings and in-laws, most have one at this point. The ones who don’t are more careful/conservative I guess and it wasn’t something that spoke to them.
Where was this psak years ago? It’s one thing to come out with a psak before it hits general public but a lot of ppl who’ve bought a wig in the past couple of years have a wig with lace something.
It’s a bit late Sad it’s really hard to put the cat back in the bag Sad
If I had one and my rav said now it’s not good I’d be upset. Dunno.
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amother




Red
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:31 am
Honestly all these judgmental threads are making want to go out and buy one. (Gotta start saving up.)
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amother




cornflower
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:32 am
If I had one, what would it take for me to get rid of it?
My rav to go through the Halacha with me and pasjen it’s against Halacha?
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gootlfriends




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:32 am
Don't know what it is.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:32 am
amother [ Red ] wrote:
Honestly all these judgmental threads are making want to go out and buy one. (Gotta start saving up.)

So in other words, you responded, never asked a Rav, do what I want. Glad you cleared that up.
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amother




Red
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:35 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
So in other words, you responded, never asked a Rav, do what I want. Glad you cleared that up.

Nope my point is that these bans and coming down hard & oozing superiority expressed by many posters are not having the desired effect.
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amother




Natural
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:36 am
Honestly? Nothing.

You can rarely effect change when it comes from someone trying to effect change in the “other”. If you want to effect change in an area, choose an area you yourself struggle with and focus on that.

Where are the initiatives for ahavas chinam? For community and friendship? For accepting one another, even though, and especially those, whom we think are in the wrong? Btw, with this initiative, if done truly from the heart, you may even effect change in their hair covering down the line.
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JoyInTheMorning




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:36 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
So in other words, you responded, never asked a Rav, do what I want. Glad you cleared that up.


Amoother Sapphire, by saying that she'd need to save up to get a lace top wig, amother Red has made it clear that she doesn't even have one. Why are you jumping down her throat? Do you think that you're getting brownie points with any rav, or more importantly, with Hashem, for having done so?
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm not at all here to judge, just want to get a picture of what's going on.
We all know many rabannim assured the lace top wigs, so for those of you who wear a lace top wig, what is your reason for thinking it is ok?
I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women in this mitzva. I'm wondering what it would take.

“Not here to judge” but you want to strengthen women in this Mitzvah.....that means you think it’s not ok, and the women who wear one are doing something wrong. I’m pretty sure that’s judgement.
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honey36




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:43 am
I dont have a lace top and never asked my rav about it. I have followed many of the other threads though because I'm just curious what all the excitement is about.

From all the threads so far, I have not seen a clear/good answer as to what's really the difference between a lace top and a regular wig. Here are the answers I've seen;

1. Lace top looks like it's growing out of your head
But- so do "non lace top" wigs.

2. Lace tops are see through so their not really covering your hair.
But- what? How does that make sense? If you have grey hair or a pony you can see it underneath? Plus most of them are lined anyways so this still makes no sense.

3. They just don't look tznius
But- again so do regular wigs.

So basically I'm still confused as to why they are assur? If they want to assur lace tops- fine, but then they should really be assuring all wigs?
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amother




Green
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:44 am
I saved up $, did extra side jobs, used $ from tips, gifts, etc. to buy a new wig... I bought one with a lace top/ front and have not worn it yet, as I am saving it for a simcha. I would be devastated to give it up.
If you reimburse me for it and I'll buy a new glamorous wig with that money, maybe I'll give it up.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:44 am
Are there no mitzvaahs that you need to work on for yourself that you have extra time to work on other people’s mitzvas?
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amother




Beige
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:45 am
In 5 Years the lace top will be perfectly alright and it'll be another style ... it's always the same story....
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amother




Coral
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:45 am
I think it's pretty clear that many Rabbanim hold that the lace tops and fronts are problematic- and asur
These kol koreis are pretty strong- this is not about judging others. It's about something being halachically asur.
Imagine if this uproar was about a hechsher that was questionable- would women think its judgemental?
It's just this topic, it's a big nisayon for women.
But the harder it is the more schar
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amother




Natural
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:45 am
honey36 wrote:
I dont have a lace top and never asked my rav about it. I have followed many of the other threads though because I'm just curious what all the excitement is about.

From all the threads so far, I have not seen a clear/good answer as to what's really the difference between a lace top and a regular wig. Here are the answers I've seen;

1. Lace top looks like it's growing out of your head
But- so do "non lace top" wigs.

2. Lace tops are see through so their not really covering your hair.
But- what? How does that make sense? If you have grey hair or a pony you can see it underneath? Plus most of them are lined anyways so this still makes no sense.

3. They just don't look tznius
But- again so do regular wigs.

So basically I'm still confused as to why they are assur? If they want to assur lace tops- fine, but then they should really be assuring all wigs?


No they look a lot more natural than regular wigs. Then again, not everyone says the Halacha dictates that one must appear to be covered.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:48 am
Honey 36- your points are all so valid which is why I called Rav Forcheimer about the kol korei
That's why he told me all natural wigs are problematic. So I think women should call him and ask - since almost all the regular wigs are natural looking what's the difference? Why is a lace front asur and a regular wig not?
Women should really call and ask about it so we could some clarification
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:49 am
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
I think it's pretty clear that many Rabbanim hold that the lace tops and fronts are problematic- and asur
These kol koreis are pretty strong- this is not about judging others. It's about something being halachically asur.
Imagine if this uproar was about a hechsher that was questionable- would women think its judgemental?
It's just this topic, it's a big nisayon for women.
But the harder it is the more schar

And there are rabbanim who say they are fine. oP should work in strengthening HERSELF in whatever area(s) she needs strength in. She shouldn’t be worried about how she can strengthen others. Maybe they aren’t doing anything that needs strengthening!
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amother




Copper
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:55 am
Lace tops do look a lot more natural but while I was waiting on line in a store I was observing the women around me. I saw a very yeshivish looking lady with a non lace top wig I knew it was a wig because Im frum and know what a wig looks like when I see it but if I was not jewish or had never seen the natural looking wigs we wear today I would have thought it was growing straight out of her head. And then the lady behind me was wearing a fall with a tiny drop of her own hair peeking out in the front. Again if I was not jewish or did not know about falls with natural looking hair, I would have thought the wig hair was her own hair. So why are lace tops/fronts any different.

My husband says the same thing. He says if someone wants to really look like they are wearing a wig, they should not wear wigs at all because to him all the wigs look like hair. The lace wigs maybe look MORE natural but the other ones also just look too good.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 10:55 am
Start an initiative to strengthen women period. So many threads on here with women breaking under their life circumstances. So many women being crushed on so many sides. Are you bored? You got all these resources? Lend them a hand instead of a lecture.
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