Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels
One more lace top thread sorry
Previous  1  2  3  4  5  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h



If you wear a lace top wigs, what is your rational?
My rav says its ok  
 35%  [ 28 ]
I never asked a rav, I do what I want  
 26%  [ 21 ]
Everyone around me wears one (including my teachers and rebetzin) so I'm assuming it's fine  
 8%  [ 7 ]
I already have one and it would be a waste of $ to get rid of it  
 7%  [ 6 ]
Be happy my hair is even covered  
 22%  [ 18 ]
Total Votes : 80



amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women in this mitzva. I'm wondering what it would take.


So many people are too overwhelmed to host others but I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women in this mitzva of hachnasas orchim.

So many people are too busy with their own lives to make a meal for a new mother but I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women in this mitzva

So many people are too preoccupied to set up singles but I'd love to start an initiative to strengthen women this mitzva of making a shidduchim.

OP if you are genuinely interested helping Jewish women, you'd throw your weight and support behind the important and meaningful things. Preoccupation with what others have on their heads is time wasting and judgemental.

This is not where klal Yisrael needs your help.
Back to top

little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:33 pm
[quote="amother [ OP ]"]
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
When people will listen
I was taught that if you think they won’t you shouldn’t[/q

So we come full circle. This is exactly my point. Ppl aren't listening to the rabbanim and kol kories. So I was trying to figure out if there is a better way or if there is no way.


Excuse me.
I dont listen to kol korehs. I take the topic of the kol koreh, and ask my Rav what his psak is.
So I DO listen to Rabannim.
Dont lump it together
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:34 pm
[quote="amother [ OP ]"]
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
When people will listen
I was taught that if you think they won’t you shouldn’t[/q

So we come full circle. This is exactly my point. Ppl aren't listening to the rabbanim and kol kories. So I was trying to figure out if there is a better way or if there is no way.

1. Many people ARE listening, I’m sure
2. Those who aren’t fall into a few categories
- this is their nisayon, they want to listen but it’s hard for them
- their rabbanim day it’s perfectly fine
- they don’t/didn’t/won’t ask because that isn’t their derech.
You seem to be implying that those who are wearing lace front/tops are obviously just not listening to the psakim that have already been issued.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:37 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I live in Lakewood, NJ, USA, Planet Earth, and all I see are long shaitels (not ok by Rabbi Forscheimer), natural looking shaitels (supposedly not ok) and plenty of lace tops/fronts. So the shaming that you speak of doesn't seem to be working too well (and I personally have never encountered it).

And I know plenty of people IN LAKEWOOD who have shorter, nice-but-obviously-wiggy sheitels. I’m pretty sure you don’t know every single person in Lakewood. This thread was started to shame women who wear lace top/fronts, not sure how you can deny shaming.
Back to top

amother
Papaya


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:39 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
I saved up $, did extra side jobs, used $ from tips, gifts, etc. to buy a new wig... I bought one with a lace top/ front and have not worn it yet, as I am saving it for a simcha. I would be devastated to give it up.
If you reimburse me for it and I'll buy a new glamorous wig with that money, maybe I'll give it up.


Same
Are they offering to exchange the wigs for us?
Because im not ready to lose 5k
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:40 pm
ok, can we just lock this thread. My intentions were misunderstood, especially if you think I'm here to shame.
Back to top

amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 12:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
ok, can we just lock this thread. My intentions were misunderstood, especially if you think I'm here to shame.


Judging by your poll options, I think you need to reevaluate your true intentions
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 1:00 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
Judging by your poll options, I think you need to reevaluate your true intentions

Thank you for your kind words. Have a wonderful day!
Back to top

amother
Bisque


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 1:03 pm
Well I chose “I never asked a rav, I do what I want” but in fact I’m of the opinion that I don’t need to ask a rav my tznius questions. I discussed this in a different thread, I think two weeks ago.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 1:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
ok, can we just lock this thread. My intentions were misunderstood, especially if you think I'm here to shame.

I don’t think this thread should be locked. I really really don’t like shutting down conversations just because they went a different way than one thought they would. Discussion is a good thing.
Back to top

keym




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 1:51 pm
OP, imamother is a diverse community, many of whom are not part of the community and Rabbanim that assured lace so your answers will skew that way.
Even among Lakewood yeshivish, learning crowd, you'll have many Rabbanim who hold against the BMG Rabbanim and Poskim and hold that lined lace is perfectly OK.

But if you really want to create an initiative to motivate women who's Rabbanim paskened this way and know they should give up their lace, but find it too challenging to, you should consider establishing a "buy back for full value" project.
I don't have a lace front or top because I can't afford it.
But if I would, it would have been after months and years of saving. Telling me to get rid of my lace means 1)I'm out thousands of dollars 2)I no longer have a nice shaitel to wear and 3)I can't afford to buy myself a replacement shaitel.

I would be a lot more motivated to give up my lace, if someone offered me the 2k that it cost so I can afford to give it up and replace it.

Jmvho
Back to top

little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 2:43 pm
keym wrote:

Even among Lakewood yeshivish, learning crowd, you'll have many Rabbanim who hold against the BMG Rabbanim and Poskim and hold that lined lace is perfectly OK.



I think more people need to read this.
Maybe then all these threads will fizzle out
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 3:27 pm
Ema of 4 wrote:
And I know plenty of people IN LAKEWOOD who have shorter, nice-but-obviously-wiggy sheitels. I’m pretty sure you don’t know every single person in Lakewood. This thread was started to shame women who wear lace top/fronts, not sure how you can deny shaming.


"Obviously wiggy"- To whom? The wigs you think are wiggy, are only recognizable to other's very familiar with a wig wearing population. Mostly frum women and maybe some african American women. I know a woman who wears only synthetic wigs. The kind our bubbys wore. And her secular co-workers would be shocked when she told them that it was a wig.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 30 2021, 3:31 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
"Obviously wiggy"- To whom? The wigs you think are wiggy, are only recognizable to other's very familiar with a wig wearing population. Mostly frum women and maybe some african American women. I know a woman who wears only synthetic wigs. The kind our bubbys wore. And her secular co-workers would be shocked when she told them that it was a wig.

I don’t know real from fake, wig from not wig. But I was just repeating what other have said. I really don’t look long enough or hard enough at anyone’s head to decide whether they are wearing a wig or not, and whether it is wig or not.
Back to top

amother
Blue


 

Post Mon, May 31 2021, 8:22 am
My rabbi has never said anything about lace top wigs or even about women’s hair coverings, in general. So I’m not sure who “the rabbanim” are, but they’re not mine, so my lace top is staying.
Back to top

r1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 31 2021, 11:54 am
Zehava wrote:
Start an initiative to strengthen women period. So many threads on here with women breaking under their life circumstances. So many women being crushed on so many sides. Are you bored? You got all these resources? Lend them a hand instead of a lecture.


Applause Applause Applause
Back to top

amother
Tiffanyblue


 

Post Tue, Jun 08 2021, 2:33 am
I'm not a sheitel wearer so can someone explain why these lace tops are so much worse than the fake scalp ones? The realistic fake scalp ones have been around at least 13 years. I remember when DH first saw one and said to me after that he was confused because in the past, so-and-so covered her hair and now she wasn't. I had to explain the sheitel scalp to him
Back to top

amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, Jun 08 2021, 11:20 am
amother [ Tiffanyblue ] wrote:
I'm not a sheitel wearer so can someone explain why these lace tops are so much worse than the fake scalp ones? The realistic fake scalp ones have been around at least 13 years. I remember when DH first saw one and said to me after that he was confused because in the past, so-and-so covered her hair and now she wasn't. I had to explain the sheitel scalp to him

This is exactly what the heter is - the rabbanim who are saying lace not ok should also say human hair not ok. My rabbi said there is no difference. Exactly how you put it
Back to top

amother
Sapphire


 

Post Tue, Jun 08 2021, 12:09 pm
amother [ Tiffanyblue ] wrote:
I'm not a sheitel wearer so can someone explain why these lace tops are so much worse than the fake scalp ones? The realistic fake scalp ones have been around at least 13 years. I remember when DH first saw one and said to me after that he was confused because in the past, so-and-so covered her hair and now she wasn't. I had to explain the sheitel scalp to him

The same rabbanim who are assuring the lace top also assured the fake scalp shaitels.

If people didn't follow then... they're not following now either.
Back to top

amother
SandyBrown


 

Post Tue, Jun 08 2021, 12:51 pm
Lakewood yeshivish ima here. A lace front wig is not a nisayon for me because I don't have a yetser hara to wear one.
I personally don't find them tznius because some of them look shockingly like hair but...
I (respectfully) don't agree with making a general rule against it.
I know of someone very close to me who wore a sheitel for the first few years of her marriage and then stopped covering her hair. Had lacefront been around then I think her
hair would still be covered today.
Just like any other tznius issue it is very much a sensitivity and rules get hard to follow. I think it can be allowed for some and discouraged for others.
Every woman should decide and think for herself if that's the right thing to do ...or not!!
Back to top
Page 4 of 5 Previous  1  2  3  4  5  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Birthday gift one year old
by dbg
2 Today at 1:11 am View last post
Nice top for dropping in to a bar mitzvah
by amother
8 Yesterday at 9:57 pm View last post
S/o Top BY school for girl with HFASD
by amother
20 Yesterday at 6:38 pm View last post
Amazon shabbos top
by amother
5 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:04 pm View last post
ISO sneakers with highish top sneakers
by amother
9 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:56 am View last post