Age for Make-up and Eyebrow tweezing

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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chen

Wed, May 24 2006, 10:59 am

[quote="Ruchel my husband and I agreed that our future daughters wouldn't wear light/invisible make up under 16 and "visible" make up under 18. [/quote]

hee, hee, that's what you think! teenage girls can be very clever...there's nothing to stop them from buying their own and putting it on after they leave the house. Good grief, I remember going to bat mizvah parties with nylons under my heavy Trimfit stockings and removing the outer stockings as soon as I got where I was going. I was NOT going to be the only girl in the class not wearing nylons, no matter how inappropriate my mother thought it was.

Ruchel

Wed, May 24 2006, 11:13 am

chen wrote:

[quote="Ruchel my husband and I agreed that our future daughters wouldn't wear light/invisible make up under 16 and "visible" make up under 18.

hee, hee, that's what you think! teenage girls can be very clever...there's nothing to stop them from buying their own and putting it on after they leave the house. Good grief, I remember going to bat mizvah parties with nylons under my heavy Trimfit stockings and removing the outer stockings as soon as I got where I was going. I was NOT going to be the only girl in the class not wearing nylons, no matter how inappropriate my mother thought it was.[/quote]

If I don't notice, well... it will be between her & G-d to see if she wants to disobey. If I do notice, she will have to take responsability for disobeying. Smile

And nylons at 12... wow! Even 14 is considered young for nylons among French non jews!

happy2beme

Wed, May 24 2006, 11:26 am

huh? I know 10 yr old's who wear stockings. What r they supposed to wear in the summer heat? can't wear thick tights & knee highs??
also, I've been to williamsburg & saw 3 yr old's wearing stockings

Ruchel

Wed, May 24 2006, 11:45 am

I agree about thick stockings, I wore them as a child too. I meant elegant, thin stockings.

elkayed

Wed, May 24 2006, 11:52 am

I didn't start wearing real makeup until 12th grade! And this is only like 7-8 years ago! These days in 9th grade the girls look like 12th graders with all the makeup and perfect hair! I guess I was lucky not to have that pressure then and even the next year in seminary they had no-makeup rules!

Mommy3.5

Thu, Jun 01 2006, 9:20 am

Tweezing and shaving, as soon as a girl feels concious of it I would allow it. Makeup, 16. My aunt got married 1 month shy of my 16th birthday, my mother,"allowed" me to wear makeup, which she applied (very lightly) after I turned 16 I wore a full face every shabbat, I wasn't allowed to wear any in school, (my mother did not want me sent home....occassionally I would wear mascara though!)

PinkandYellow

Sun, Jun 04 2006, 5:26 am

I think the issue here is more that girls are connecting their self-esteem to the way they look. I wasn't allowed makeup until I was 18. and even then barely wore. even in shidduchim I only wore make up on the first 2 dates and now as a married woman every once in a blue moon. Mainly bec my self-esteem and the way I felt about myself had nothing to do with the way I looked. This was bec of the way my parents brought me up. There was no constant talk in the house of dieting and weight the way I see so many ppl are obsessed with how they look and then, unintentionally, teh kids will get the message that its what is on the outside that counts and there is s/t seriously wrong with that, imo.

(sorry for the run-on)

Tefila

Sun, Jun 04 2006, 5:57 am

Quote:

Good grief, I remember going to bat mizvah parties with nylons under my heavy Trimfit stockings and removing the outer stockings as soon as I got where I was going.

And here I thought I was creative Twisted Evil

chen

Mon, Jun 05 2006, 9:23 am

Tefila wrote:

Quote:

Good grief, I remember going to bat mizvah parties with nylons under my heavy Trimfit stockings and removing the outer stockings as soon as I got where I was going.

And here I thought I was creative Twisted Evil

You, too?

Isramom8

Sat, Jun 10 2006, 4:56 pm

I agree that it depends on each girl's individual needs. My first daughter has only a light sprinkling of hair. She bought herself a tweezer in 9th grade and started using it, but not obviously. By the time I asked her if she wanted to start tweezing, she told me that she already does. She shaves sometimes but it's not made into a big deal.
My second daughter's eyebrows started appearing really thick about a year before her puberty. Her friends already tweezed - this was when she was in 7th grade. I took her to a professional to create the initial shape (not too sparse) and then she maintained it on her own. I've taken her back once for a reshaping. She's not interested in shaving yet, but I think she knows she can come to me or her older sister for help when she decides it's time.
Makeup is a cutesie "chodesh Adar" thing (we live in Eretz Yisroel). Some girls wear it for a sibling's simcha, but I think it can wait until about 18. If my 16-year-old put on a little for a simcha, I wouldn't object.
As far as deodorant, I have found that both girls and boys need it early, at age 10 or 11, because they smell!

soonamommy

Sat, Jun 10 2006, 10:40 pm

chen wrote:

My electrologist said she would not do a girl younger than 16 --not sure exactly why but it may have had something to do with the fact tht they are still growing.

if a girl with noticeable hair on her legs is wearing sheer hose on shabbos she should shave. otoh, a girl younger than 14 or so should not be wearing sheer hose.

I would not encourage tweezing eyebrows just stam, but if a girl in HS has very wild, bushy brows or a unibrow and feels self-conscious about it, certainly she should tweeze them into a more acceptable shape if she's willing to put up with the pain.

The other day I noticed that my dtrs eyelashes looked darker than I remembered their being. not black-black, but just darker than I remember. I'm not going to say a word. she's putting on only a little makeup, only now and then, and she is a senior in high school. certainly the time to start learning is not when she's already going on shidduchim. Much as I'd like her to remain a little girl forever, there is nothing wrong with a HS senior wearing light makeup. "Light" being the operative word here:if her father can tell she's wearing it, it's too much. A little blush in winter so she doesn't look like a corpse; a little mascara if her eyelashes are invisible. I'd approve medicated acne coverup at any age.

Chen, not to get on your case, just out of curiosity, though, if you don't disapprove of your daughter's makeup, why not be open with her and tell her you've noticed it and are impressed with the amount she uses? Why make her feel like she's going behind your back?

chen

Mon, Jun 12 2006, 10:17 pm

soonamommy wrote:

Why make her feel like she's going behind your back?

and spoil all her fun?

Ruchel

Mon, Jun 12 2006, 10:19 pm

chen wrote:

soonamommy wrote:

Why make her feel like she's going behind your back?

and spoil all her fun?

Is it fun to think you're hiding from the most important people in your life something that they could disapprove? Or... stressing? Confused

soonamommy

Mon, Jun 12 2006, 10:44 pm

I don't know about your daughter, but I hated doing things behind my parents' back. Hence my question.

supermom

Tue, Jun 13 2006, 1:00 pm

imaamy wrote:

Freilich, from the spirit that comes thru your posts, you certainly seem like a spring chicken!!! Very Happy

shayna82

Tue, Jun 13 2006, 1:29 pm

Motek wrote:

Have you noticed how younger and younger girls are plucking their eyebrows? What is the purpose in a 9th grader doing this? If this is about proper grooming, then why wait until age 13 and 9th grade? Why not teach it to 8 year olds?

What do you think the purpose is and what age do you think is appropriate for a girl to wear make up on a regular basis (not for a special occasion) and to pluck her eyebrows?

without reading anyones answers, I will reply with my own personal preference.

when a girl who is 14 has bushy eyebrows and she looks unkempt, its time to start plucking. 8 year olds would probably not have that amount of hair over there, as she hasnt started to mature. it goes hand in hand.
I started wearing makeup at around 16. I think thats a normal age for some light makup. the purpose- woman like to beautify themselves. simpl as that.

mimsy7420

Tue, Jun 13 2006, 1:47 pm

soonamommy wrote:

I don't know about your daughter, but I hated doing things behind my parents' back. Hence my question.

Yup

Motek

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 6:15 pm

want to add?

Fox

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 6:26 pm

happymom wrote:

When girls have bushy eyebrows that need to be plucked it looks gross... I had bushy eyebrows and my mother took me to get them waxed in eighth grade and I looked alot better! same with my sister.. in highschool, most girls tweeze... its considered "neby" not to if you look like you should. IT sort of like shaving if your in ninth grade or even eight and are wearing a short skirt with hairy legs it looks gross! same thing.

makeup is different... you don't look bad without makeup just prettier with. its the normal thing to not wear makeup till older... id put shaving/tweezing/deodorant in the same category.. when u get a little older, you do it!

My girls have dark, bushy eyebrows, and waxing really opens up their faces. My oldest DD, in particular, always looked like she was scowling. After waxing, she looked like a different person! Even I was amazed.

DS actually called his rosh yeshiva to ask if he could shave/wax his "unibrow". I figured he'd get a big "no" on that one, but I was surprised. His rosh yeshiva said that (in his opinion, obviously) grooming the eyebrows in our times is considered basic grooming and is not limited to women. Coulda knocked me over with a feather!

Motek

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 6:31 pm

Fox wrote:

opens up their faces.

what an expression Tongue Out

Quote:

DS actually called his rosh yeshiva to ask if he could shave/wax his "unibrow". I figured he'd get a big "no" on that one, but I was surprised. His rosh yeshiva said that (in his opinion, obviously) grooming the eyebrows in our times is considered basic grooming and is not limited to women. Coulda knocked me over with a feather!

and so, has your DS done it?

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