Child crossing street alone

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:50 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

Tell him that if he crosses the street by himself, he will go in a stroller.

Good idea technically. However, this child has been refusing to sit in a stroller from the ripe old age of 2 and 5 months! He is something else. Ive even had him seen by prof. They all said same. Clever little boy that wants to be big and in charge!

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:51 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

The way my grandma did it with her kids.....put a banana in the street, watched a car drive over it and looked at it after. “That’s what can happen to you!” 🙈🙈🙈

wont lose by trying.
Actually will - the banana LOL

trixx

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:54 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So put him in charge. He can run ahead and stop and tell you if there are cars coming but he still has to wait for you to catch up and actually cross together.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:54 pm

Either he holds your hand or the stroller, you use a baby leash or he goes in the stroller, or he stays home. This should be non-negotiable. He is 4 and you are the parent.

amother

Orange

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You can tell him that if he crosses the street by himself, he will not be able to go outside. Where I live, if a 4 year old would cross the street by himself, drivers would come out of their cars to yell at the child.

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:55 pm

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

Supervise him!

If I could. I wouldent ask for help.

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:59 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

Actually wouldent be a bad idea to happen. He would have more respect if a total stranger yells...

Rappel

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:00 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

The way my grandma did it with her kids.....put a banana in the street, watched a car drive over it and looked at it after. “That’s what can happen to you!” 🙈🙈🙈

Smart lady.

When DS was two, we came across a flat cat in the road. I wanted to go away, but he was curious, so I explained, and that kept him from running into the road... Until he was 4, and now he just needs to obey. He's sure that he's big and smart, and wants to help people. All good things... When he's older! Banging head

OP, you have my deepest sympathies. If I never had DS, I would probably also be nattering at you to "train your child better!" But everything we do is just a temporary fix for these kids. They're smart, they're curious, they're strong, they're confident... And other than investing in a ball and chain, I honestly don't know if there's a sure way to keep them in check LOL

amother

Ginger

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:10 pm

We used a leash until my daughter learned to wait. She hated the feeling of being pulled back.

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:57 pm

trixx wrote:

So put him in charge. He can run ahead and stop and tell you if there are cars coming but he still has to wait for you to catch up and actually cross together.

This actually can work. thank you

keym

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:03 pm

I have a child like this. Willful and stubborn and smart as a whip.
Smacking him won't help. It will just make him willful and stubborn and mad.
You need to use his smarts for you.
I told my son he needs to hold my hand to help me cross the street. I check both ways and ask him each time "Moishy, you make sure Mommy is checking and crossing properly. I need you to hold my hand and help me".
He's all proud and happy to "help me" make sure it's safe to cross the street.
The plus is that I'm also able to teach safe crossing

PeanutMama

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:18 pm

I remember this very vividly. My stepdad did something interesting when my little brother crossed the street running without looking. I think he was 5-6 years old.
He got an old stuffed teddy bear (which was mine) and an old baby doll my sister and I didn’t want anymore and put it in front of the wheel a little ways in front of the truck. Then he called my brother out and told him to watch the bear and doll.
We all came out to see heh.
Then my stepdad got into the truck, backed up a good few houses back, and then drove at a faster speed over the toys.
Bear was smushed from the neck down, doll was headless and missing a leg and the middle was all dented up.
Stepdad parked again came out and told my brother
“This is what happens when you don’t look and a car runs over you. Do you want to go to the hospital? Do you??”
Then he tried to fix the toys. He threw them out at the end but made a whole big deal about how doctors work so so hard to fix people’s bodies in a hit and run.
Brother got the point.
Never did it again.

Sometimes when a kid just won’t listen to words or learn from a potch a parent gotta get creative

I remember being taught helmet safety and the instructor brought 2 plastic balls with a jelly brain.
Put a helmet on one ball, nothing on the other.
Dropped them both at a certain height.
Annnnnnnnd yeah.

PeanutMama

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:21 pm

keym wrote:

Oooh sounds smart and super effective. I actually like this.

amother

Amber

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:21 pm

I'd just tell him he cannot go with mommy since he crossed by himself.
Then the next time I'd take him but say he needs to hold mommy's hand when we cross or he will have to stay home like the time before.

Iymnok

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:29 pm

In our neighborhood there is a white patch of raised dots. I th ell my kids to run ahead but stop before the white. They get praise for good execution.

amother

Black

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:38 pm

If he crosses when he runs ahead then next time he needs to hold your hand and may not run ahead.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 4:29 pm

The consequence has to be severe and immediate.
He ran ahead and crossed by himself:
1. Turn around and go home. At 4, you should be able to carry him if you need to. There's no going outside unless he's holding your hand.
2. Buckle him in the stroller. I saw you wrote that he refused. Pick him up and put him in. There are harnesses that you can buy that he won't be able to get out of. It may be a struggle to get him into it but it's worth the fight. Chances are after 1 time he won't do it again.
It doesn't seem like prevention will work. But your reaction might. You can try to prepare him in advance. Buy the harness and show it to him. "If you cross the street by yourself you're going in the stroller with this buckle that you won't be able to take off."

Oldest

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:53 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

You can "teach" a 4 year old all you want. They simply lack the skills of judging gaps in traffic, not to mention impulse control, to cross a street without an adult.

This!
Biologically speaking, until a child is 9 their brain is not physically developed enough to be able to safely cross the street. They don't really have great depth perception yet and their impulse control is nowhere near where it needs to be.

Lovable

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 10:22 am

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

We used a leash until my daughter learned to wait. She hated the feeling of being pulled back.

And why on earth is that better than a small slap on his hand? Can't Believe It

WhatFor

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 11:28 am

Lovable wrote:

And why on earth is that better than a small slap on his hand? Can't Believe It

Because in one scenario you're limiting a child's distance away from you by holding their hand or extending that span by attaching a lead, because they're not mature enough to be independent.

In another scenario you're striking a child.

The first scenario is better because you're not striking a child. It's better not to strike your child.

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