Child crossing street alone

Teomima

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:06 pm

My parents NEVER hit us, save two occasions my mother slapped my face: once when I was a child and ran out into the street alone, and once when I called my mother a terrible name to her face. I do not blame her for those smacks. They were both done not out of anger, rather to shock me and make me realize both things were totally unacceptable.

It worked.

For the record, I don't even remember the smack after running into the street (I do remember the second one, though). I only know about it from her telling me.

amother

Peach

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:41 pm

For me what worked was showing my ds (age 6) videos from traffic cams of little boys and big boys running or biking into the crosswalk without looking and getting hit by a car. Lots of those on frum news sites unfortunately. Non graphic but enuf for my son to chap I wasn’t just “trying to control him for no good reason.” On another note- can you all explain to ur teenaged daughters and sons in boro park they shdnt try risking crossing in front of a red light and hoping no one will hit them? Did their mothers avoid smacking them and this is the result? Or it comes from being smacked as a child? It’s so dangerous

amother

Peach

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:44 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

I’m not even talking about crossing the short blocks- I know no one follows the red/green light it’s a lost cause. I’m talking about crossing over a whole avenue with double lanes. I thought kids brains “mature” at age 9 but seems they don’t

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:11 pm

Am I the only one here that would yell my brains out at a 4 year old if he crossed by himself??? My little ones would *never* do it because they are scared of that alone.
(And no, I'm not a yeller and I've never lifter a finger at them)

but there is a time and place. Stories and warnings and talking...??? Are you kidding?? It's life and death, people!

And as for all the graphic demos, I'm sure they work really well but knowing my kids they'd be unnecessarily traumatized

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 03 2021, 10:41 pm

I'm still trying to wrap my head around letting a child out of your control when he's FOUR!

Come on moms, you have ONE job - don't let your kids get killed. Nobody that age should be running hefker in the streets, ever. There is simply no excuse for it whatsoever. What are people thinking? Banging head

If you have a "runner", then they need to be on a leash at the very least. If you have a "Houdini", then get a leash that they can't wiggle out of, or an escape proof stroller strap.

With DD, we saw a squirrel that had been run over, and I stopped and pointed it out to her. I told her "If a car did this to you, it would squish you FLAT, and you would look like this squirrel.

I also told her that no matter how much I trust her to cross, and no matter how careful she is - she is small. Cars are big, and adults often cannot see small kids, even if they are waiting nicely at the crosswalk.

I also told her that adults don't pay attention sometimes. When people would drive by I would point out the drivers who were drinking coffee, fixing their lipstick, talking on the phone, turning around to yell at their kids, or other unsafe behavior. One split second of not paying attention is all it takes for a kid to get squished.

I told her to never cross until she could make eye contact with the driver, and make sure that they were looking at her, and not at their phone, the neighbor's dog, or the sandwich they are eating. It's even better if they wave her across.

She still wasn't allowed to cross any streets until she was around 8 or 9. We lived on a side road, which in some ways was worse than a freeway. It seems peaceful and quiet, until some idiot goes tearing through a residential area at 50 miles per hour. 4 way stops with no clearly marked crossings or stop signs also added to the danger. B'H, her BFF lived on the same block, just around the corner.

BTW, more kids are killed in parking lots, than they are in car accidents. They think that they can run ahead, dart in and out of parked cars, and that the cars can somehow magically see them. This is one of the MOST important times to insist that everyone keeps a hand on the shopping cart, your purse strap, etc.

One thing I like about Israel, is that little kids will come up to me and lift up their hands. They want me to "cross them" on a busy street that doesn't have a good crossing area. I'll lead them across, and then go back on my way to wherever I was going. I never mind when they ask, I'm happy that they are being responsible.