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Is a boss supposed to be understanding?
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smile11




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 02 2021, 9:56 pm
Yes I agree. If you will make up your work you should not be accounted for every minute especially if it wont effect the business
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shyshira




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 02 2021, 9:59 pm
Rosemarie wrote:
There's nothing wrong with allowing them the consideration of having an afternoon off once in a blue moon, as long as they get their work done. We anyway always expect them to work in their own time preparing, marking tests... unpaid. So really, why force them to do that prep work in the school building!? They'll do it, don't worry.


Not following - why do they get an afternoon off? The morning teachers didn't get the morning off.
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:56 am
shyshira wrote:
Not following - why do they get an afternoon off? The morning teachers didn't get the morning off.


Because making someone work a salaried position is not about tit for tat and every billed hour being in the classroom. Teachers should be treated like adults just like any other professional and be allowed to choose when and where they want to do their paperwork. Making them come in just because is petty
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shyshira




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 1:06 am
notshanarishona wrote:
Because making someone work a salaried position is not about tit for tat and every billed hour being in the classroom. Teachers should be treated like adults just like any other professional and be allowed to choose when and where they want to do their paperwork. Making them come in just because is petty


Pre-Covid there were many adults with desk jobs that were required to be at those desks to do work they could do from home.

In anycase - the poster I was responding to was suggesting that the afternoon teachers should get the afternoon off, not a 'work from home' afternoon.
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Bleemee




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 1:26 am
imasinger wrote:
Being politic about it means asking nicely for your rights, and saying it in a way that makes them pleased to do it. It's a skill worth learning and mastering.

Can you demonstrate? 😀
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 5:46 am
shyshira wrote:
Pre-Covid there were many adults with desk jobs that were required to be at those desks to do work they could do from home.

In anycase - the poster I was responding to was suggesting that the afternoon teachers should get the afternoon off, not a 'work from home' afternoon.


The (unpaid paperwork) work has to get done regardless of when and where you do it. It’s not like teachers won’t do report cards or transition sheets if they don’t do them in school. Making them stay in school with no students is infantile.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 6:26 am
alwayssmiling wrote:
Im putting it here cuz I would love to see responses not only from working women.
My sister got married 3 days ago bh. I'm the oldest so my mother relies heavily on me. I was taking off a pretty bit of work the past few days. nothing more then a 20 minutes one day and 10 a few days later but still taking something off. my boss didn't like it and said so.
the catch is that I work for a family business. if this would be a simcha in HIS family no one would show up other then me. so I thought he would be more understanding.
anyhoo, I was talking to some friends and we had a whole discussion on this topic
Is a boss supposed to be understanding when an employee needs some time off for family emergencies or is the attitude supposed to be I pay you and you have to be accountable for every second?
lets hear it


Generally he is right but if he were smarter he wouldn't have done it.

Especially if he and his family members cannot follow through with being role models in this area.

I don't think you took a ton of time off. It also doesn't seem like he made that much of a deal about it. Accept his complaint and move on.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 6:45 am
Bleemee wrote:
Can you demonstrate? 😀


Hard to do without knowing enough.

OP, I'm trying to generalize, in order to answer, please don't view any of this as criticism of you! Like I said, we just don't know that much of the detail of your situation.

If this boss either didn't know, or didn't process, the information that OP had an upcoming family simcha of significance, and would need time off --

Depending on whether the issue was "didn't really know" (meaning OP never specifically sat him down and told him she needed this time, regardless of how much she talked about an upcoming wedding), or didn't process (meaning, she did sit down and have the conversation, but he's the type that needs reminders), being politic could involve none, any, or all of the following.

Is the boss the type who has a bark but no bite? Fine, when he says, "you took off so much time these past few days", say, "it sounds like that worried/inconvenienced you, thank you for your understanding of my family simcha, it's all over now." Maybe he was just looking for a little extra acknowledgement of his feelings, and it's better not to be oversensitive.

Is the boss a planner type, and the issue was that this wasn't something he planned on? Learn to tell him further than a week ahead of time, ask for slightly more time than you plan to take, then you can comment how committed you were for the job that you cut that time short. Or, take that full time, secure in the knowledge it's been cleared.

Is the boss the selfish type, that only notices his own needs? First of all, a savvy worker would note this about many other details besides how she is treated at the time of a family simcha. That worker would probably be looking for another job, but in the meantime, could try to phrase the request so it's in the boss's best interests to agree to the time off.

In any case, being politic might sounds like this.

"Next month, we have a family simcha, and I know I'll need a little extra time around it, no more than an hour or two of work, spread over a couple of days. I'd like to talk to you about how I can make sure you don't feel like you've been left hanging, if I'm gone for a bit. I plan to give up much of lunch hour in the next couple of weeks, as needed, and stay on top of the work load. In the end, I'd probably give more than I'm taking, how does that sit with you?"

If he has objections to the office being left while a worker is out, there's time to arrange an alternative if needed.

The main point of being politic is to put yourself in that person's shoes, knowing their likely concerns, and to not take any aspect of the conversation personally. And to never assume that the other person will put themselves in your shoes in this way, especially if they're male.
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Rosemarie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 7:37 am
notshanarishona wrote:
The (unpaid paperwork) work has to get done regardless of when and where you do it. It’s not like teachers won’t do report cards or transition sheets if they don’t do them in school. Making them stay in school with no students is infantile.

This. Exactly
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Rosemarie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 7:38 am
shyshira wrote:
Pre-Covid there were many adults with desk jobs that were required to be at those desks to do work they could do from home.

In anycase - the poster I was responding to was suggesting that the afternoon teachers should get the afternoon off, not a 'work from home' afternoon.

Ok, fine. Don't give them the afternoon off. Let the teacher do her paperwork on her couch with some music going instead of in an empty building, empty classroom
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cutestbaby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 8:38 am
Rosemarie wrote:
Ok, fine. Don't give them the afternoon off. Let the teacher do her paperwork on her couch with some music going instead of in an empty building, empty classroom

I feel like it could be a union thing possibly?
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Rosemarie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 8:51 am
cutestbaby wrote:
I feel like it could be a union thing possibly?

Union? In a frum heimish school? They don't even hire licensed teachers, just seminary grads. They don't have a single Union worker. None of the local heimish schools do.
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Rosemarie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 8:56 am
Whatever. I didn't really mean to derail the thread like this. I just feel like it's the same by OP. A boss should use good judgement, not penalize a great loyal worker for doing what all the family employees do. Besides, OP said she came in full day the day if and after the wedding, that is above and beyond loyal. Nobody does that where I live. They take off half day for day of and half or full day the day after. So really, cut her some slack if she takes off twice for half hour! In addition to the fact that OP does project type work, not phone or secretarial work where she is needed at any given moment, which means that if they trust she will complete projects on time, they should not breathe down her back for every second of the day.
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r1




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:10 am
I have insight to both sides of this conversation.

On the one hand, I work at a business where 85% of the employees are family. On the other- my father employs several of my siblings. The rules are different for family, and comparing and assuming comes across entitled. My father kept my brother even when he slacked off (as long as it didn’t effect others work) but wouldn’t be expected to do that for someone else.

I feel like the piece that’s missing here is the respectful conversation- a heads up, clear expectations.

There’s no reason a boss would HAVE to give paid time off a day after a siblings wedding, I actually know many Heimish businesses and can’t think of any that would (if it’s the owners family Simcha it’s obviously different). However a reasonable boss would be accommodating if you were clear about the time you need and how you plan to get everything you need to get done etc.
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shyshira




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:12 am
notshanarishona wrote:
The (unpaid paperwork) work has to get done regardless of when and where you do it. It’s not like teachers won’t do report cards or transition sheets if they don’t do them in school. Making them stay in school with no students is infantile.


If the teacher is at school - she is available to take meetings, update her classroom, cover for other teachers.. all of these things.
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jkl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:31 am
shyshira wrote:
If the teacher is at school - she is available to take meetings, update her classroom, cover for other teachers.. all of these things.


And would be probably more productive in school than WFH.
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the world's best mom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:33 am
Teachers get paid for the few hours that they actually spend teaching. They do not get paid for the preparing, marking tests, phone calls with parents... And those things can take hours each week. Of course they should get the afternoon off if the students are not there. They won't be bored.
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vicki




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:35 am
Cherry Blossom wrote:
OP, your boss is not treating you well.

If his family who work in the business would have taken off, you should be entitled to that too.

Period.

A few of you have said this so far and I do not agree.
The family own the business. They can do whatever the boss (their uncle, father, brother-in-law) says they can do. It is not good for morale but it is reasonable.
I also agree, though, that a boss needs to be considerate in allowing time off. Do you get vacation, sick, personal time? Taking off 20 minutes or even 2 hours hardly ever, especially if you often work extra unpaid hours, is nothing.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:37 am
r1 wrote:
On the one hand, I work at a business where 85% of the employees are family. On the other- my father employs several of my siblings. The rules are different for family, and comparing and assuming comes across entitled.

An employee who expects to be treated equally would be "entitled"? I hope I misunderstood.

Obviously people have the legal right to run a business where some employees are treated way, way better than others. As long as it's not along ethnic/gender/etc lines.

But it's not exactly good management, and someone who does that shouldn't be surprised if non-favored employees are resentful and don't put in any work beyond what's required of them.
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jkl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 9:40 am
ora_43 wrote:
An employee who expects to be treated equally would be "entitled"? I hope I misunderstood.

Obviously people have the legal right to run a business where some employees are treated way, way better than others. As long as it's not along ethnic/gender/etc lines.

But it's not exactly good management, and someone who does that shouldn't be surprised if non-favored employees are resentful and don't put in any work beyond what's required of them.


She mentioned equally to Family, not to other employees. All employees should be treated equally, but its acceptable for family members to get special privileges.
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