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S/o what do you respond to b'shaa tova when you just had a m



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 6:01 am
The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight?
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amother
Puce


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 6:05 am
Hugs...I've had a couple of miscarriages myself...

for the b'shaa tova, if it's not someone I know I don't think I would say anything.
For the people I know, maybe something like "had a mis"

For not pregnant at all, "do you know something I don't ?
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 7:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight?


You stare them in the face if you are me. And they figure out something is wrong.

If you are a nice polite person, you say thank you, it is a mistake.

Sorry you have to go through that. I was asked of I was pregnant literally at the moment when I was going to the hospital to take care of a mis.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 7:59 am
I literally cannot comprehend how someone can ask someone if they’re pregnant without having been told explicitly. Like I don’t care if they look 9+ months pregnant. Please, if you’re one of those people who do that, can you enlighten us? I truly would love to hear what goes through your head.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:06 am
Or given a bracha for shalom bayis and having children easily when you just got divorced and nobody knows
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:15 am
The ONLY person that is entitled to ask if I’m pregnant is the X-ray technician!!

Gosh what is wrong with people.
And if I didn’t specifically tell you that I’m pregnant and start talking about my pregnancy? Sh@t up!
Unless you don’t mind being put in an awkward situation.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:29 am
Some people think it's a game, like, guess the pregnant lady. Shows they're so smart. Or when you do tell, they announce, oh I could tell months ago. For goodness' sake, just say Besha'a Tova, I hope you are feeling well.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:35 am
For a mis- Too late.
For fat- yes I hope to lose it b’shaa tova.

I don’t suggest using these.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:50 am
For having gained weight I reply, Oh I'm just fat, haha. Usually they blush. Gosh, there's only such a small circle of people who I'd ask if they're especting.
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MrsDash




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight?


Say, "I'm just fat. How about yourself?"
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 8:57 am
Im so sorry
I started a thread a while ago about an acquaintance who would ask me non stop for my due date before I told her I was preg. and even after I missed.
its very hard but I try my best to be grateful that Im still of the one percent people with a sliver of common sense
hugs and best wishes for the future
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 9:02 am
When I see someone who is very obviously pregnant, I just tell them to feel good when we leave. I feel like it’s almost rude not to acknowledge anything but I wouldn’t ask someone when they’re due unless they told me that they’re pregnant.

How bad is this? 🙈
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 9:09 am
I have had late term losses and the first 2, I had told people I was pregnant. (I’ve gotten smarter but no more successful since). While it stings like h-ll, it’s not their fault. It just exemplifies the nimshal of the person who wants to take back and do tshuva for LH and the rabbi tells them to open a pillow in the park and then collect all the feathers.

I just kind of look off into space or at the ground trying not to cry shaking my head. Or saying I guess bad news doesn’t always travel that fast.

They feel stupid and I try to tell them not too, but it is hard. It just stinks.

If it is just fat, I tell them something like B”H, the cookies, ice cream and I are all doing well. We get along great, maybe too well. I wish I had your willpower.


At this point, I am old and it’s just me and my fibroids looking lovely. But I am past the age of anyone thinking anything.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Fri, Jun 04 2021, 12:22 pm
In so sorry amother pumpkin. That’s terribly painful.
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