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Real diamond vs lab grown re: for kallah
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amother




DarkViolet
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:22 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
I get the feeling that mine is lab grown because my in laws literally don't have money and it's too nice.

Either that or my husband begged his siblings to chip in, or he dug deep into his (minimal) savings...

I wouldn't have cared but I wish someone would tell me


Take it to a jeweler to get appraised.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:23 pm
mizle10 wrote:
Well yes, the price of diamonds in general may go down, but that would mean the resale value of a mined diamond may go down, not that it will be nil.

The price of a lab diamond wouldn't be nil either. It costs money to produce. Also, the entire idea of paying more money for something just because you'll be able to sell it for more money relative to the purchase price but not at a profit earning level doesn't make sense. If it's an investment, it's a bad investment either way. If you buy it to use/enjoy, then you should always buy the cheaper one.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:25 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
All diamonds lose value. Engagement rings are not supposed to have resale value. They are meant to belong to the same person forever.


I don't think this is true at all.

I know my grandmother's diamond was re-set for my brother's wife. And when my mother A"H passed away, I had her jewelry appraised on my father's behalf (he distributed it to my sisters and I, via a sort-of gorol.) The appraiser told me that her diamond ring, with it's classic platinum tiffany setting, was gorgeous, and he would buy it on the spot for a very respectable amount of $$$.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:28 pm
When it becomes a family heirloom, that's very different than it being resold. So is the piece of jewelry having value as a whole.
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:28 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
The price of a lab diamond wouldn't be nil either. It costs money to produce. Also, the entire idea of paying more money for something just because you'll be able to sell it for more money relative to the purchase price but not at a profit earning level doesn't make sense. If it's an investment, it's a bad investment either way. If you buy it to use/enjoy, then you should always buy the cheaper one.


It costs money, but there’s an infinite amount that can be produced. There’s zero scarcity. This is basic economics.
People resell diamonds all the time and recoup a good portion of their money. I don’t know where your getting your information from.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:43 pm
If that's basic economics, most items would have zero value. Also, it doesn't matter whether you can or can't recoup much of the cost if you wouldn't have to pay that much of a cost to begin with by buying cheap. People should buy based on utility.
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amother




Dimgray
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 3:51 pm
I know someone that's satmar Williamsburg and she told me she gave her second kalla recently a lab grown diamond ( first one she didn't because I think it wasn't around yet ) she told me she saved 1000 and the diamond dealer told her husband that if he would need to give a diamond now he would definitely give a lab grown diamond
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 4:27 pm
Very torn about this

Of course OP needs to stick to her budget

But if I were the kallah I’d be upset

As a kallah I didn’t want, need or get any of the so called must haves. No bracelet or necklace or watch. I wanted a beautiful, special ring. That was what was important to me. To me, if there are limited funds (there were) I wanted it all To go to the engagement ring. I’d rather a smaller stone, than a lab grown diamond. I can’t explain it.

Most kallahs I can imagine not wanting to forgo any of the above. They want or expect all the jewelry ‘everyone else’ gets. In which case there just may Not be enough $ for a mined diamond. She may not care. I would.

This is A tough one OP
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amother




Midnight
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 4:40 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
And if the kallah is upset that her mil is keeping within her budget by cutting back on the ring?

I know how a budget works. There are usually multiple ways to cut back. Doesn’t have to be in this area.

Edit: I think you’re misunderstanding what “budget” means in this context. You’re thinking of the monthly or yearly budget. Here budget refers to the amount allotted toward the ring.

So I guess you’re the darling who doesn’t know how a budget works.


If the Kallah has a problem with how much her MIL has budgeted for a ring and it's not enough for her than there are bigger issues at play... maybe she's not mature enough to get married in the front place.. I mean marriage is not about the presents your getting...(even if some communities try to make it about that to distract the Kallah from what's actually happening. )

And, no. I know what a budget means.

The definition of a budget is an estimate of an alloted amount for a specific expenditure or for a set period of time.
Why would I be thinking of a monthly household budget?

I am referring to a wedding budget.

I know as a Kallah, we had x amount budgeted, I didn't expect anyone to spend over the budget for any of the wedding related expenses.

If my in laws budgeted 5000 for a ring, I didn't expect a 15000 ring because that's what my sister got. Nope.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 4:55 pm
It's simple. Let her pick!

"Chani, we have $3000 set aside for your ring. You can get this size diamond that is natural, or you can get this size diamond that is lab grown."

Another option is to offer a smaller lab grown diamond, and put some of the ring budget money towards something else she might want. There's lots of options out there.

Personally, I was more than happy with the CZ ring I picked out, and nobody ever knew the difference unless I told them. $34 on Ebay! Very Happy
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 4:55 pm
amother [ Midnight ] wrote:
If the Kallah has a problem with how much her MIL has budgeted for a ring and it's not enough for her than there are bigger issues at play... maybe she's not mature enough to get married in the front place.. I mean marriage is not about the presents your getting...(even if some communities try to make it about that to distract the Kallah from what's actually happening. )

And, no. I know what a budget means.

The definition of a budget is an estimate of an alloted amount for a specific expenditure or for a set period of time.
Why would I be thinking of a monthly household budget?

I am referring to a wedding budget.

I know as a Kallah, we had x amount budgeted, I didn't expect anyone to spend over the budget for any of the wedding related expenses.

If my in laws budgeted 5000 for a ring, I didn't expect a 15000 ring because that's what my sister got. Nope.

That’s true, and thanks for womansplaining me, because it gives me all the feels.

This is a different scenario. Op went to look at diamonds with a particular budget in mind. Then she saw the lab grown diamonds and is asking if she can save money in that way. I don’t think it’s fair to reduce the budget.
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:09 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
If that's basic economics, most items would have zero value. Also, it doesn't matter whether you can or can't recoup much of the cost if you wouldn't have to pay that much of a cost to begin with by buying cheap. People should buy based on utility.


Most items do have a very low resale value.


Your not buying cheap, you’re buying at a 30-40% discount and it has zero resale value, as opposed it buying full price and have a resale value that can be quite high.

Theoretically, would you buy a cheap house you won’t be able to sell in the future or a more expensive house you can one day sell?
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faigie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:11 pm
Ask the girl if she’d rather have a smaller natural diamond, or a larger lab grown one….after all she’s the one who will wear it.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:13 pm
If it really had no resale value, you would be able to save 100% by buying used.
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:13 pm
faigie wrote:
Ask the girl if she’d rather have a smaller natural diamond, or a larger lab grown one….after all she’s the one who will wear it.


I agree with this
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amother




Melon
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:21 pm
I don't understand why this needs to be discussed with the kalla. When these Lab Grown Diamonds are set they look beautiful. They stay beautiful too. Just present a setting that the kalla likes, and don't talk about value of resale. NOBODY SELLS THEIR DIAMOND RING (as far as I know)
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amother




Tuberose
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:27 pm
amother [ Melon ] wrote:
I don't understand why this needs to be discussed with the kalla. When these Lab Grown Diamonds are set they look beautiful. They stay beautiful too. Just present a setting that the kalla likes, and don't talk about value of resale. NOBODY SELLS THEIR DIAMOND RING (as far as I know)


I agree with that. This is a gift from Chosson to Kallah - that the parents are paying for. You don't generally get a say in your own gifts. I don't think even in the secular world, it is the norm for the bride to have a say with what ring the groom proposes with.

If the kallah prefers a different ring, her chosson can work towards that after marriage.
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amother




Tuberose
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:28 pm
faigie wrote:
Ask the girl if she’d rather have a smaller natural diamond, or a larger lab grown one….after all she’s the one who will wear it.


Why? Do you ask the chosson what brand name watch you should buy for him? After all, he is the one who will be wearing it.
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scruffy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:29 pm
amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:
Why? Do you ask the chosson what brand name watch you should buy for him? After all, he is the one who will be wearing it.


I asked my chosson. He didn't have any opinions but why not make him happy if there was something he wanted?

I chose my ring setting myself...
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Lovable




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 10 2021, 5:30 pm
amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:
I agree with that. This is a gift from Chosson to Kallah - that the parents are paying for. You don't generally get a say in your own gifts. I don't think even in the secular world, it is the norm for the bride to have a say with what ring the groom proposes with.

If the kallah prefers a different ring, her chosson can work towards that after marriage.

This is ok as long as you let her know that the diamond is lab grown. Otherwise it is like fooling her
And if you feel comfortable enough investing in a lab grown piece, you should have no issue telling the kalla this
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