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S/O why not save on other wedding expenses too?
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:29 pm
The post about a lab grown diamond made me question why people don't try to save in other ways too. Why not save money on the rest of the wedding instead of or in addition to gifts. Make a wedding for 150- 200 people in a small hall that doesn't have minimums. I know some people have big families but for those who don't. Spend less on flowers or get fake ones. Have a small band. Less food meal options or simple smorg. Spend less on dresses, hair, makeup for little kids. Wouldn't you rather have saved money on the wedding and gotten a nice gift?
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:34 pm
The whole wedding business is idiotic if you ask me. Nothing makes sense. There's no reason to spend so many paychecks on flowers and decor for just ONE night!!
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amother




Olive
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:34 pm
People do all these things and more. No valet. Chicken choices only. Soup and not salmon. Plated dessert cheaper than Viennese table. Etc. etc. everyone who’s not extremely wealthy has to prioritize what’s important.

Eta I’m MO and don’t go to package weddings. Everyone compromises somewhere though
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:37 pm
Almost everyone I know makes wedding pkg.
only flower bouquet is real
One man band
Pkg photographer
Most ppl have basic meal and basic shmorg. No dessert.
A lkwd bais Faiga wedding is 10k everything included: hall, food, band, flowers, pictures, video.
Most likely going to a smaller hall and pulling vendors from scratch will add up to more then that. You just show up. No party planner beeded

I go to lots of weddings and it’s rare I go to a non pkg wedding.

I don’t think parents give kids money over a wedding…
Ppl I know who made small covid weddings spent way more bec setting up a hall and pulling everything together was more expensive the the events that happen every night.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The post about a lab grown diamond made me question why people don't try to save in other ways too. Why not save money on the rest of the wedding instead of or in addition to gifts. Make a wedding for 150- 200 people in a small hall that doesn't have minimums. I know some people have big families but for those who don't. Spend less on flowers or get fake ones. Have a small band. Less food meal options or simple smorg. Spend less on dresses, hair, makeup for little kids. Wouldn't you rather have saved money on the wedding and gotten a nice gift?


This really depends on the crowds. In my circles regular weddings don't have a band, many have fake flowers, and no one serves fish at a wedding. There's no shmorg either.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The post about a lab grown diamond made me question why people don't try to save in other ways too. Why not save money on the rest of the wedding instead of or in addition to gifts. Make a wedding for 150- 200 people in a small hall that doesn't have minimums. I know some people have big families but for those who don't. Spend less on flowers or get fake ones. Have a small band. Less food meal options or simple smorg. Spend less on dresses, hair, makeup for little kids. Wouldn't you rather have saved money on the wedding and gotten a nice gift?

I think the same people who would give a lab grown diamond do all the things you just mentioned. Make takanah weddings with limited people, gemach dresses, fake flowers and one man bands, etc.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:41 pm
Is that only in Lakewood? The weddings we've been invited to aren't like that. And don't you have to live in Lakewood to get married there?
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is that only in Lakewood? The weddings we've been invited to aren't like that. And don't you have to live in Lakewood to get married there?

I've been to takanah weddings in Monsey. Not sure if Brooklyn has takanah packages, but I do remember that there are cheaper halls there as well.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is that only in Lakewood? The weddings we've been invited to aren't like that. And don't you have to live in Lakewood to get married there?


Oh, no. Lakewood is very popular for weddings for Baltimoreans and possibly others.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:49 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is that only in Lakewood? The weddings we've been invited to aren't like that. And don't you have to live in Lakewood to get married there?


There a tekana packages in halls in Brooklyn and Monsey. Many chassidish people do tekana weddings.
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amother




Brass
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The post about a lab grown diamond made me question why people don't try to save in other ways too. Why not save money on the rest of the wedding instead of or in addition to gifts. Make a wedding for 150- 200 people in a small hall that doesn't have minimums. I know some people have big families but for those who don't. Spend less on flowers or get fake ones. Have a small band. Less food meal options or simple smorg. Spend less on dresses, hair, makeup for little kids. Wouldn't you rather have saved money on the wedding and gotten a nice gift?


The whole concept that parents need to have about 50K on hand to marry off each child is ridiculous. Let each child figure out how to pay for their own wedding. This way one person pays for one wedding, instead of one person paying for 5-10 weddings.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:57 pm
amother [ Brass ] wrote:
The whole concept that parents need to have about 50K on hand to marry off each child is ridiculous. Let each child figure out how to pay for their own wedding. This way one person pays for one wedding, instead of one person paying for 5-10 weddings.

Takanah weddings are about $10,000 total. That's both sides together.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 2:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is that only in Lakewood? The weddings we've been invited to aren't like that. And don't you have to live in Lakewood to get married there?


Tons of ppl getting married in lkwd now to covid restrictions - Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Toronto.
It’s not tzedakah. Just a pkg and a standard. (It’s impossible to get a wedding hall now they are so booked).
In williamsburg and baro park and monsey there are similar pkgs but I don’t know prices.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:01 pm
ETA: there is also help to setup a home a tzedakah organization sells at cost to those who don’t need tzedakah. Everything from pots to linen to vacuum. Selling more makes their buying power better bec they buy in large quantities and it makes setting up a home more affordable to the avg person who is being stretched but doesn’t need tzedakah.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:05 pm
amother [ Brass ] wrote:
The whole concept that parents need to have about 50K on hand to marry off each child is ridiculous. Let each child figure out how to pay for their own wedding. This way one person pays for one wedding, instead of one person paying for 5-10 weddings.


Many chassidish girls do pay towards their weddings but many if not most boys, chassidish and yeshivish, are in yeshiva when they get married.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:06 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Takanah weddings are about $10,000 total. That's both sides together.


It's $10,000 for the hall/wedding night. This doesn't include the gowns, hair, makeup, and all expenses leading up to the wedding.
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amother




Brass
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:08 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Takanah weddings are about $10,000 total. That's both sides together.


It's not only the wedding - it's all the stuff that comes along with it. Jewelry, gifts, clothing, housewares, furniture, sheitel, shtreimel and what not.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:08 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
It's $10,000 for the hall/wedding night. This doesn't include the gowns, hair, makeup, and all expenses leading up to the wedding.

That doesn't add up to $50,000.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:09 pm
amother [ Brass ] wrote:
It's not only the wedding - it's all the stuff that comes along with it. Jewelry, gifts, clothing, housewares, furniture, sheitel, shtreimel and what not.

Just priced it out - between $20K and $30K in my circles. It's a lot, but not $50k.
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chanatron1000




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 3:11 pm
People do try to save on other things as well. But those are more the equivalent of buying a sapphire instead of a diamond or going without the ring. There is a noticeable difference.
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