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Head says "move", heart says "no way!"

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2021, 10:33 pm
My DH and I have been lamenting the need to move. We need a bigger community with more resources for the kids and us. We have a community all picked out. Because of some tricky details and very challening timeline, I'm not so thrilled to move anymore. In fact, I'm terrified. It's so complicated. And if we wait any longer, we might as well never entertain the idea again until we are moving for retirement!

My heart is so not into this move but on paper is seems the right thing to do.

I'm generally not the squeemish, hesitant one. But this is different.

Anyone else relate?
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2021, 11:30 pm
💗💗💗
I'm sorry it's hard.
I hope that when you do move it's rewarding and you don't have any regrets.
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amother




Steel
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 12:07 am
Moving is complicated. (I'm saying this as someone who made aliyah with kids in elementary and high school.) But when it's the right move, it's a very good thing. It's fine to be overwhelmed, but it's not fine to let that get on the way of what you know is best for your family. If this move is going to benefit you all, then bulldoze through the process. You'll be glad you did.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 12:17 am
That’s so hard. Personally I say trust the head, the heart changes with the wind. I moved recently and I got very nervous at some point. So I spoke it over with friends and family and they got me excited about it again, as I spoke it over I realized how important the move was and how all would be good in the end. Are there people you can speak to about it who can encourage you and help hype you up about it?

And yes moving is stressful and hard no matter what. I totally empathize with your fears, it’s so hard and the timeline is never pleasant. Definitely something you have to accept about the process so you know what’s coming your way! And hopefully plan accordingly!
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 3:33 am
Not always a good idea to move to a bigger community. I’m in an OOT community that has vouchers so it’s popular to move to, and what I see is most people moving from bigger communities like it here, but many people moving from smaller communities struggle and feel they lost a lot.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 4:34 am
Keep the positive vibes coming. I’ve changed my mind 20 times. And I know that my kids need this. They are making the best of it where we are but need more. I just keeping thinking, we will make this dramatic move and if one of my kids ends up miserable, it will be a disaster.

I can’t sleep and my stomach is tied in knots. So not like me.
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amother




Glitter
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 7:09 am
Moving is hard op. Change is hard. We moved this past summer and it’s taking my oldest, 10, the longest to adjust. DC misses the friends and family left behind. Overall, the move was positive for our family but nothing is perfect. I keep telling my children and especially the oldest that our old city has wonderful things about it and it’s ok to miss it. But it’s our attitude here that will determine our happiness. We can choose to mope about what we don’t have or we can choose to find the positives about our new place. It’s been almost a year and I can see it’s a work in progress. No I’m not happy as can be. I have heard it takes closer to two years for that. Logically I know it was a good smart move. Yet, at the same time it is also ok to feel that it was hard. Ironically I “lost” out the most as I took a huge pay cut and don’t have my dream job anymore. But I also don’t have a lot of take home work and I have a huge property where my children can run and jump around and I can enjoy them more easily. What helped my older kids was making a pro list about our old home and the new one. It helped them see clearly that both places have good things. We also work hard to keep my oldest connected the old friends and that helps somewhat.
I agree with the poster who said to go with your mind as the heart changes with the wind. This was a logical move for us but I see how my heart is slowly following along…
Wishing you much clarity and Hatzlocha!
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