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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Special Needs DD, shalom bayis issues



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 16 2021, 2:01 pm
I have a 14 yo dd with ADHD issues. She is also rather immature for her age.
To keep her in a Jewish school, in our state, we pay an additional tuition for in school help. We also have her see a behavioral therapist for her issues. Again, this we pay private because we no longer qualify for state services.
Lately, the stress of this has been getting to dh especially. His temper is off the top.
Does anyone else have shalom bayis issues related to raising challenging children?

If so, how do you deal with them?
I am really afraid dd is internalizing this as ‘her fault’.

Thank you.
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Wed, Jun 16 2021, 2:31 pm
Yes, of course special needs children can cause SB problems. I have no advice except the usual: Find a therapist to support YOU.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jun 16 2021, 2:44 pm
ha that one made me laugh.
with what money?
when you have a special needs child (and I have 2), the $ going to therapies is like a waterfall out of my wallet. On top of it all, I should add therapy for me! Ha, the joke for me is I did it for 2 years. Got me nowhere except poorer. At this point, I drink too much soda for my own good. Not healthy, but there you have it.

It is hard hard hard, OP. You have my sympathies.
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amother
Lemonchiffon


 

Post Wed, Jun 16 2021, 2:47 pm
Same boat here.
Especially about the amount of money spent on the specials needs kids therapy etc
Communication is very important. Dh is upset but should not be geared towards you.
Taking time for you and dh alone even for a night here and there is imperative.
And no speaking about the kids.
You have to remember how life is before the kids huge issues started impacting your relationship and the only way to do that is to take time away.
Major hugs and I’ll have you in mind when I pray for my own marriage and children
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