Tantrums in restaurant

amother

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:05 pm

Background:
My grandparents flew in to visit, and we decided to have a fun day and take the kids to the park and then go out for lunch. The park was fun, but somewhat hot, and then we drove to a chilled cafe type of place and sat down at a table. My son hit his head, started crying, then both he and my daughter (both very young) started crying because they were hot, tired and hungry. They both usually nap and I was going to put them to sleep after we got home. By the time they took our order and actually got our food ready, which took some time, my kids were done. Once they started eating they settled down and were quiet and enjoying themselves.
I usually don’t take them to cafes or pizza places or anything like that, but I had made an exception because of my visiting grandparents who are the type that like to go out to eat and treat everyone.
When the waiter came up to give us our food, he said that if the ‘babies start crying again please take them out for a minute’(which means take them out- a minute doesn’t work) because, as he said, he had a couple of costumers who had left due to the screaming.
I was mortified to say the least! I wanted to cry. Although at that point my kids were happily eating I got my order to go, and the second they were finished left.
The family I was with told me not to go and said it’s a family style restaurant and they have to expect crying kids. They were very upset.
My kids are under 3 years old. It’s normal to cry.
What would you have done or said?

amother

Olive

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:18 pm

I have kids that age and go out with family about once a month. They learnt to enjoy it and I learnt some tricks- order drinks for them to sip on and keep busy… and always order my food in to go containers so I’m ready to leave if one of them gets loud.

Its hard but truly rude and unfair to other costumers, the workers and the owners, to stay if you’re kids are not handling it well.

HonesttoGod

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:20 pm

I would (and have) try and take a snack or take a ready prepped item from the cafe fridge to start them off with to avoid the hunger crying until the food comes. Most cafes hve that or they offer bread baskets.

That said if my kid is melting down I do take them outside for a few minutes. Even a family style restaurant/cafe, a screaming kid gets annoying to others.

amother

Garnet

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:45 pm

With kids that age, I would only take them if I knew they were well fed and well rested.

amother

Camellia

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:53 pm

During the day in a family style restaurant I think it's fine for kids to cry. Btw a trick is to get bread or something that is ready on the spot so that the kids can eat while the food is being prepped.

amother

Natural

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:58 pm

If my kid cries in any store, I go outside with them till they calm down, especially at a restaurant. I very rarely take a baby or toddler to a restaurant, even family style.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:52 pm

It sounds like you were too ambitious. A park always wears kids out, then a restaurant during nap time when they need to wait for food is a recipe for disaster. Oh, well, you’ll know for next time. That’s life with little kids.

essie14

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 11:54 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

This.
Toddlers dont know that you "planned " to give them a nap later. They're tired when they're tired.
I would have done the park part, fed them at the park and then take them home for nap time.
Meet up with the grandparents again after nap time.

trixx

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:56 am

Don't be mortified. That's life with kids.

amother

DarkYellow

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 2:08 am

I agree with the above.
It is no sin to try. It didn't work. Though it is a family restaurant, screaming toddlers are hard on anyone's ears.
Nothing to be embarrassed about either.

amother

Amaryllis

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:24 am

As others have posted, you set your children up to melt down because they were hot, tired and hungry - they were HANGRY as the expression goes.

Children at a restaurant need to have food and a drink immediately when they sit down and also some kind of play diversion. Many restaurants have coloring place mats but you should also have something to take out immediately - a phone or iPad is often used

Since your children calmed down as soon as they were fed, this tactic would probably have worked.

The appropriate thing to do is to take children out of the restaurant when they start melting down or not. A family restaurant doesn't generally mean a place where there is completely pandemonium like Chuckie Cheese.

shmosmom

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 10:12 am

I'm sorry that happened to you OP. It must've gotten a little stressful.