Lakewood bubble | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:19 pm

Lakewooder here.
Anyone worried that their kids will grow up too sheltered and unaware of outside Lakewood here?
I have no family oot so we don’t have anywhere else to go but I’m worried by kids will grow up in a Lakewood bubble

amother

Lightgreen

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:22 pm

Lakewood is such a huge and diverse area I cant say I worry about it too much. There's a lot of exposure happening in Lakewood right now. Though if both mg parents and in laws lived in Lakewood I might think differently.

amother

Sand

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:24 pm

amother [ Lightgreen ] wrote:

Tbh it’s not as diverse as u think. Just bec there are now men who wear jeans lol…

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:36 pm

A few points
1. Teach your children about other places and people in the world.
I find people use the term oot about every single place. It's sad when big kids/adults dont realize that some places like chicago/baltimore/LA etc etc are BIG frum communities. It's even sadder when grown adults dont realize how far or close other states are from them. When you say you are going to your parents for shabbos and they ask you how many hour flight it is or if there is a time difference...

2. Visit other states. Lots of places within a few hours by car. For example a trip to Lancaster...

3. Show your children that all people are deserving of respect. We are in galus and live among non jews and I feel like people forget that and I'm horrified by how people talk to and treat non jews...

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:39 pm

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Tbh it’s not as diverse as u think. Just bec there are now men who wear jeans lol…

This. My pet peeve is when people say how diverse Lakewood is.

amother

Snow

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:49 pm

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Tbh it’s not as diverse as u think. Just bec there are now men who wear jeans lol…

Rolling from this! I live in Lkwd with my lil children. We have loads of OOT fam. This past week we met up with fam members at the beach. One of my relatives invited a friend who lives near the beach town. She doesn’t cover her hair and was wearing a swim suit. After we left my daughter asked me if she’s Jewish Laugh

Anyway to answer OP- it’s funny how we all have our concerns.. NO! I’m not worried about a bubble, they go to camp, the have friends, classmates with exposure etc (plus our own OOT fam) plus with social media the whole words is at our finger tips. What I’m most concerned about are the pressures. Especially being financially in a good place and trying to raise children who understand the value of hard work and realize how dumb lavish simchos, fancy cars and houses are and how those things are almost always done just to impress the next person. Makes me sad cuz I have no doubt my teenagers iyh will def feel peer pressure and idk what I’ll do about it...

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 7:51 pm

No. We visit many states, we go on day trips around new jersey. My kids know jews come in all stripes, and live in many cities, states and countries. They also know that there are many types of non jews, nationalities, religions etc... Unless you keep your kids in a bubble and never leave your street I don't see why this would be an issue. Also my neighborhood is more diverse than others.

cupcake123

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:31 pm

Okay I'm going to be devil's advocate and say that I think Lakewood IS diverse.
I'm about to make some generalizations dnt roll your eyes!
Where I live is a more modern area. -dress less modestly, people have dogs, men and women mix more..
You drive 5 min you get into YESHIVA town! No smartphones, very very religious!!

Now you might say this is not THAT diverse and I'm not saying it is the MOST diverse place. I think for a jewish community it's pretty diverse.

Think of other jewish communities: LA, BP, Teaneck, 5 towns... I dont beleive their more diverse

Also I 100% agree that there is a ton of pressure in lakewood. To dress certain styles, have a nice car/house.... this might also be going on in other communities but I don't know.

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:35 pm

Having moved from five towns, I don't really find lakewood less diverse, it's just as diverse. Also the pressures are so much worse in five towns. Compared to what I'm used to it's very chilled in lakewood.
Most Jewish cities tend to be more of a certain type but all are diverse. Having lived and looked into many lakewood today is pretty diverse. By lakewood I am including the surrounding towns because they are in the same schools and camps.

amother

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:39 pm

I also worry about peer pressure, we don’t have the means to live like a lot of the people here
Cupcake, can I ask which area you live in?
I would say 5 towns is more diverse! From very yeahivish to very open minded

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's really not. I found it to be certain types with nothing in between. Here I meet people of every type.

amother

Gardenia

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:50 pm

I have a very close relative who chose Lakewood specifically to keep her kids in the bubble....and so far it's worked. She is terrified (yes, actually terrified) of what she terms "influences". Her kids think riding the subway is "untznius", the mall is "untznius", tznius is "untznius" and on and on. Her oldest are teens and very much in the bubble. And from our visits, it appears about as diverse as Kiryat Sefer.

amother

Lightgreen

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:00 pm

amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:

Where in Lakewood does she live and where does she send her kids to school?? This sounds very extreme.

amother

Anemone

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:03 pm

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

A few points
1. Teach your children about other places and people in the world.

Please teach your children geography! Ignorance is very off-putting.

cupcake123

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:07 pm

I cant beleive I forgot to mention drive another 5 min and you have chassidim.
Do you have this type of diversity in 5 towns? I'm not talking about a chassid/yeshiva guy here or there I'm talking large groups of each type...

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:07 pm

I think to people outside Lakewood (and maybe those living in a bubble) lakewood seems like a place where every person is a clone of the next, everyone the same. I know before I moved here I thought it was that way. Everyone made it sound like everyone looks the same. Just a sea of men in black and white and every woman dressed the same.

I live in lakewood and in the few years I'm here I've seen that there is no "type" to Lakewood. Yes in general the men wear black and white, but there are plenty who dont. I've seen woman of every type and stripe. The cool ones, the nerdy ones, the I dont care how I look ones, the I only care about how I look ones. Some wear a snood, a scarf, a wig, a lace front, lace top. Maybe lakewood wasnt diverse but it is becoming more and more as people keep on moving in from all over...

cupcake123

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:08 pm

amother [ Lightgreen ] wrote:

Where in Lakewood does she live and where does she send her kids to school?? This sounds very extreme.

I was going to say this.... I dont know anyone even remotely like this IRL...

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:08 pm

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

It's really not. I found it to be certain types with nothing in between. Here I meet people of every type.

Not really, there is almost no MO in Lakewood, unlike the 5t.