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What is your major life challenge currently?
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:27 pm
I have no friends.
no job
desperate for a baby and its not happening Sad
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amother
Rainbow


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:39 pm
Going through a miscarriage right now. After SIF.
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Surrendered




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:57 pm
Ouch to all of you! So sorry for your pain! Hugs!

Rainbow, would you appreciate a loss package from Kanafayim and A T.I.M.E?
If you want it, please pm me.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:58 pm
I'm on alot today because I'm physically week, in bed.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 08 2021, 5:24 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:06 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
I am going through super tough times with my shalom bayis. Its almost 10 years that I am married and have gone to so much help but DH refuses to get help for his issues, and I just realized that this will probably be my life forever.
I am mourning and grieving a loving marriage I will probably never have.
I am depleted and exhausted, and so very lonely...
I put in so much effort to treat my dh respectfully and nice, and don't get any back in return. I am desperate for some validation because I know that I could've made things worse with my reactions but chose to go for help, do the right thing, be a role model for my children, and its really not easy!!!!!!!!

Don't give up on your hopes and dreams. Reading your post, it brought me back to 10 years ago. We were married for 10 years. We almost got divorced, times were tougher than tough. DH cheated, he didn't bring in an income and alot more. Our life together was a major disaster. I was miserable.
Fast forward 10 years, bh he came around eventually, he realized what a terrible husband he was, how bad our relationship became. He realized he wouldn't have a better life without me and children, and he (did not go for help) changed his behavior. We learned to accept our differences gracefully and live happily and peacefully. He became helpful with the kids and kind to me, which he never did before.
Keep strong, Daven hard for change.
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amother
Lightblue


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:17 pm
The biggest challenge I've gone through in life was suffering from depression after seminary. My friends were moving on with life and I was sitting in therapy working through the darkness.
But I'm also so thankful for that time in my life. Therapy gave me tools for life that helped when I later got married and suffered through infertility.

I'm very thankful BH for everything I have in my life. I wouldn't change a thing, and its not because my life is perfect but because I'm a stronger better person from my struggles and I find I'm a more resilient, positive person now. And I probably wouldn't be if I hadn't been through years of therapy
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bernadette




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:25 pm
Money.
Struggling middle class. I absolute refuse to cheat on my taxes. The house is has no maintenance, car is falling apart. Ppl laugh from our clothing ( the ppl who live off welfare). It takes a lot of self confidence to ignore it, but soon we’ll be dealing with shidduchim and it’s all about your image.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:31 pm
I'm a single mother with a chronic illness so I'm always exhausted physically. I work full time and barely make ends meet. Juggling everything is super hard, one of my kids has learning disabilities as well.

I'm very lucky though that I got out of a horrific marriage and that I have wonderful, beautiful children and a job. I'm so grateful that I have so much. So many of you have it so hard. Sending major hugs.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:38 pm
Would you say that hearing about other people's challenges, and see they have it so tough, sometimes more than we have on our plates, makes yours easier to accept now?
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amother
RosePink


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:57 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
I am going through super tough times with my shalom bayis. Its almost 10 years that I am married and have gone to so much help but DH refuses to get help for his issues, and I just realized that this will probably be my life forever.
I am mourning and grieving a loving marriage I will probably never have.
I am depleted and exhausted, and so very lonely...
I put in so much effort to treat my dh respectfully and nice, and don't get any back in return. I am desperate for some validation because I know that I could've made things worse with my reactions but chose to go for help, do the right thing, be a role model for my children, and its really not easy!!!!!!!!
[b]

Me me me.
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amother
Strawberry


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:58 pm
DH has many issues emotionally- so SB is really tough. Being patient, giving, supportive while getting very little in return.

Infertility too.


amother [ OP ] wrote:
Would you say that hearing about other people's challenges, and see they have it so tough, sometimes more than we have on our plates, makes yours easier to accept now?


Definitely! I don't want anyone else to suffer Ch''v. But when I hear about others in a similar situation it definitely makes it easier to bear. I mean everyone just looks so happy and at ease on the street and I sometimes feel like I'm the only one with a full peckel. (I look just as happy to everyone else, but I forget that part)
But other situations that are different than mine actually make me sadder. I really feel for others suffering and its really depressing to hear how much pain there is out there.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 5:01 pm
Being so "medically complex" that no one knows what to do with me.

My most recent blood tests came back "normal", so I'm fine, right? Banging head
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amother
Lily


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 6:27 pm
Trying to have kids
Figuring out my allergic situation
Issues with my boss
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Surrendered




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:12 pm
Another thing to remember is that Hurt people, sometimes hurt people.
If someone said something rude or acted nasty towards you, remember that they might have had a bad day or are in pain.
It can also come from them having a different life experience and have a different perspective than you.
We shouldn't take things personal.
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amother
Alyssum


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:14 pm
Surrendered wrote:
amother Alyssum, Ouch, you're going through such such rough time, so much pain, I wish I can hug you IRL.
You are such a special person. After going through so much, you still keep forging forward and try to do what's right.
Please know that we are here for you through thick and thin. Though only virtually, we are real people and you have our support.
Youre saying that you don't have friends, Consider us your friends and keep venting. We will support you.
Keep strong!


Thanks.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:15 pm
Secondary infertility. TTC for two years now. There was one miscarriage a couple months back, obviously when we were about to start treatment so everything went on hold.
Dealing with my husband mental health (much stemming from zxual abuse and neglect as a child). He had a really hard year and was completely falling apart, so I need to be the strong one and not dissolve in my SIF woes.
One DD is extremely difficult/explosive/high maintenance. We are putting so much time and energy into her, I’m really worried about her future…
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DallasIma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:18 pm
My husband is not observant and never has been. But that problem doesn't seem to loom that large to me any more after so many years. It is what it is.

Also - and I'm not going to use euphemisms here - I am fat, and no matter what I do, the weight will not come off. (Please don't give me suggestions; I've heard them all. Thank you.)


Last edited by DallasIma on Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:21 pm
I'm married 11 years and BH BH I have 2 kids but I want nothing in the world more than another baby. But my husband barely wants the ones we have. He believes life and kids have no purpose. He feels that way because of CPSD, and he's depressed and hard to be married to. But he doesn't believe there's a point in getting help.
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amother
Narcissus


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 8:40 pm
amother [ Brass ] wrote:
Having too many unanswerable questions about religion and wondering how much of it is actually real and how much is man made.

Same.
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Wed, Jun 23 2021, 8:56 pm
Dh depressed and recently started seeing 4 therapists weekly to heal from his traumatic childhood. I live with chronic pain and anxiety (Fibromyalgia) and it gets worse with stress. Taking care of 3 children (ages 7 months - 4 yrs) all at home all day. No cleaning help, help with kids (except husband BH). He can't be there for me now bc he shuts down like this every once in a while bc of his pain so I'm BH seeing a therapist 2 X's a week. (Narcissistic/BPD) mother in law trying to force herself back into my life to so she can have a relationship with " her grandkids" and (step) son--DH. Live OOT and already part of a small community but Covid made it much worse. Barely have any friends. I have a large immediate family but no one here.
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