Swimming teacher in bikini

amother

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:35 pm

I just got a swimming teacher for my 9 year old son and she showed up in a bikini. My husband wants me to call her and ask her to wear a shirt or something over it.
Can someone pls teach me how to say it nicely.

amother

Calendula

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is it possible to have someone else? There are many men who teach swimming. It's hard to get a female teacher and then discuss their swimsuit. Though obviously there are types of bikinis...

amother

Blush

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:48 pm

If she is familiar with your community I wouldn’t ask anything of her. and I would withdraw and explain why respectfully.
She may be offended. Depends where she is coming from. If From the community she obviously knows and has made her choice. Someone who doesn’t come from the community can often be more respectful. She knows you are religious.
Or I shouldnt assume. It depends on where she is coming from.
(My son learns with frum women dressed in swim clothes top to toe. )

greenteaorange

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:58 pm

Tsniut aside it’s very strange for even a non Jewish swim instructor to be teaching children in a bikini.. most lifeguards and swim instructor would wear a regular swim piece.
I think you can ask her to wear something else since this is just strange and unprofessional

amother

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 10:19 pm

She's not Jewish. I don't how if she has any religious clients. I got her number from a non frum friend of mine. I have a female teacher because she's also teaching my girls. I rant didn't expect her to come in a bikini and half her boobs are sticking out. Can someone pls dictate exactly what I should tell her?

champagne

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 11:55 pm

First of all, she will definitely get offended. I would probably just leave, honestly. I’d imagine after a conversation like this, your relationship will be strained.

However, if you really want a script:

“Hi Amy!

First of all, thank you so much for *something that you appreciate — giving your girls a great experience or whatever.*

One more thing, I feel terrible about bringing this up—I know this is just a cultural difference and I truly don’t mean to offend.
Is it possible to wear a cover-up or rash guard when you’re teaching my kids? I know that’s a really big ask, but if you’d feel comfortable with that, I’d be so grateful.”

I wouldn’t explain why because that would possibly invite an argument.

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:32 am

I think you don't realize how rude it is to tell someone else how to dress on their turf.
Get another teacher for your son.

DrMom

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:53 am

amother [ Chestnut ] wrote:

I think you don't realize how rude it is to tell someone else how to dress on their turf.
Get another teacher for your son.

Is the pool at OP's home? If so, it is not unreasonable to ask her to wear something more modest.

If not, you can ask (very diplomatically), and if she declines, you can find another instructor.

notshanarishona

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:30 am

Ideally a 9 year old son should be learning with a male instructor anyway. Once you are going coed you might as well find a man. It will make it easier and more comfortable.

allthingsblue

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:19 am

Let her teach your girls and find someone else for your son.
This is completely normal swim attire in the world at large.

amother

Red

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:22 am

Most lifeguards wear speedo one pieces and it is strange that she showed up otherwise. Look around the next time you're at a rented pool/water park. All one pieces per protocol.

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:27 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Most lifeguards wear speedo one pieces and it is strange that she showed up otherwise. Look around the next time you're at a rented pool/water park. All one pieces per protocol.

Exactly, plus, it's uncomfortable for them otherwise. And at an outdoor pool for sure they don't want to be exposed to so much sun all day.
I've never come across a professional instructor wearing a bikini. They all wear some kind of cover up at the very least. Doesn't sound like a certified professional instructor, which you really should have if she's teaching swim lessons.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:28 am

OP- are the lessons at her pool or yours? If at her pool, you cannot say anything (though I agree with all the posters that say unprofessional to teach in anything but a one-piece). If at your pool, you can explain its a cultural issue and would it be ok for her to wear a rashguard.

I see this has all been covered upthread. Best of luck! My kids take swim lessons in Manhattan and it's a pretty even mix male/female instructors. The female ones wear very modest one-piece suits.

groovy1224

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:30 am

allthingsblue wrote:

Let her teach your girls and find someone else for your son.
This is completely normal swim attire in the world at large.

For swimming lessons though? I think a bikini is an inappropriate choice for a swim teacher in any culture. Especially a super revealing one, which is what OP is making it sound like it was. I'll be honest, if I was a 9 year old I'd probably find it distracting. I'd spend half the lesson giggling about 'boobies'.

I don't think there's any diplomatic way of asking her to cover up, so unless she's really fantastic and you specifically want her, I'd probably just find someone else.

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:33 am

groovy1224 wrote:

And that's just one reason why you won't find a professional certified lifeguard or instructor dressed that way on the job. Doesn't sound like op hired one.
Even on Baywatch the female lifeguards wore one piece suits lol.

cat81

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Tell her it to her straight - dress appropriately.

My kids have had private lessons for 10+ years and never once had an instructor dress like that even the 20-25 yr olds.

I’ve never seen lifeguards working at camps, beach, water parks etc... dress like that either.

amother

Cappuccino

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:30 am

My kids go to separate swimming lessons. But even my girls teachers wear cover ups over their swimsuits, like a tshirt or something. At one swim school they all had a tshirt with their name on that they wore on top, the men and the women. Bikini is for leisure, completely unprofessional to wear for kids swim lessons

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 7:02 am

My girls went to a non jewish swim school/lessons and all instructors were wearing either shorts and tee or a tee over a swimsuit. I've never seen a lifeguard or instructor in a bikini, it's inappropriate. I wouldn't want her to teach girls either. I wouldn't have her back.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Jun 24 2021, 7:04 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Ideally a 9 year old son should be learning with a male instructor anyway. Once you are going coed you might as well find a man. It will make it easier and more comfortable.

Her dds will be uncomfortable.