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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
My baby is 6 mo, so cute, but so bad and Im barely surviving
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amother
DarkMagenta


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 10:57 am
My sister just told me the other week about a product she got claims it works wonders. Its called nested bean. Check out their site. They sell a variety of products that are gently weighted and the chest to mimic an embrace or hand on the back. Her baby wouldn't let her put her down to sleep. Cried non stop till picked up. She would even wake up after she fell asleep in her hands if she put her down. Now with this baby is so much calmer. It's not expensive probably worth a shot....
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:00 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
a daytime babysitter would definitely help but see my previous post. im at the end of my rope and dont have the mental energy required to make 40 calls like I did in order to find her previous babysitter.


I would try and find someone to come to my house. This is vital! I am so sorry for you!
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amother
Burntblack


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:11 am
OP, this is so hard.

I have some questions.

1) would it be easier if this was a bottle-only baby? Six months is a long, long time to nurse, and you did great! You are a super star! What if the baby got mostly bottles and now someone else can feed them? Also, they say with formula and food, babies sleep times get longer. Is the baby eating solids?

2) My babies were waking every two hours by six months old and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Six months of accumulated sleeplessness can make anyone nuts!! My pediatrician insisted I let my baby cry it out. Insisted! He's 65 now, so I figured he had lots of experience.

I hate hearing my baby cry, so I went to the basement guest room to sleep (You can also go to your mother's, or a hotel for two nights) for three nights and set the alarm for six hours. ( I set mine for eight, but made sure someone was up for two of those hours). My husband can literally sleep through anything, or even if he can't, he was unperturbed by the crying. So it worked.

When I came back to my upstairs bedroom, my baby was sleeping for seven hours! He was happy, he was amazing, we were all happy, and thirteen years later, he's the best, smartest, loveliest kid imaginable. No trauma that I can see.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:15 am
Omg OP I Emphasize with you soooo soooo soooo soooo much!! Especially the part with being sick and tired of hearing from everyone else. Hello, ive tried it all world!!! Yes, it was worse when he was up till 4 months because he was crying mamash day and night without stop. And like you we did everything possible to try and stop it. But even now, at 11 months- this baby, my love that I always wanted and wished for- is extremely extremely extremely difficult and doesnt sleep well and doesnt delight in what other babies/ will. And im told- its just his personality, by the drs. So bh nothing worse. I have such tremendous guilt about not being able to make him happy, or sustaining it and day in and out I try again and again and spend every minute w him and my other kids. All I can tell you is, I absolutely relate and if you need someome to talk to, that understands, I am hear to listen. Wishing you strength and that you can get some chizuk that nothing more serious is wrong. Not that I am trying to under validate your feelings. Its okay to feel them. And I dont think it means you love baby anyless, even if they are difficult. Someone once sent me a quote by rav ovadia a"h that when you have a hard baby, just try to remember that there is likely a very big soul in that tiny body.
Hatzlacha and hugs!!
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:16 pm

You can nurse to sleep while lying on your side and then sleep with the baby. He is not a helpless newborn who could suffocate on your body.
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amother
Stonewash


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:44 pm
1) you may need medication

2) it's so so overwhelming to try to find help for yourself. you are overtired and not functioning, stressed and going crazy. I totally get the feeling.
Can you Make ONE call to a local bikur cholim or chesed organization and let them know what you need?
They can do the legwork and find you a chesed girl/babysitter
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amother
Raspberry


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 2:00 pm
In a very similar boat. I’m starting medication today- I was hesitant cuz really what I need is sleep but if it will make me extra calm maybe I’ll be able to just sleep quicker when I have the chance or handle the sleeplessness better? Idk.

My toddler that’s 3 got easier around 16 months but yes high strung kids are hard. They’re heaven but you can’t compare them to regular babies- I’ve never gone out with my husband alone since having my older one (we had one wedding and the babysitters mother had to come help her - she was an experienced 25 year old and refused to come again obviously).

I have lots of daytime help also. Can’t really afford it but oh well.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 3:04 pm
amother [ Vanilla ] wrote:

You can nurse to sleep while lying on your side and then sleep with the baby. He is not a helpless newborn who could suffocate on your body.


I know that but apparently my baby doesnt. if she doesnt fall asleep while lying on her side what good does that do me???
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 3:06 pm
amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:
OP, this is so hard.

I have some questions.

1) would it be easier if this was a bottle-only baby? Six months is a long, long time to nurse, and you did great! You are a super star! What if the baby got mostly bottles and now someone else can feed them? Also, they say with formula and food, babies sleep times get longer. Is the baby eating solids?

2) My babies were waking every two hours by six months old and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Six months of accumulated sleeplessness can make anyone nuts!! My pediatrician insisted I let my baby cry it out. Insisted! He's 65 now, so I figured he had lots of experience.

I hate hearing my baby cry, so I went to the basement guest room to sleep (You can also go to your mother's, or a hotel for two nights) for three nights and set the alarm for six hours. ( I set mine for eight, but made sure someone was up for two of those hours). My husband can literally sleep through anything, or even if he can't, he was unperturbed by the crying. So it worked.

When I came back to my upstairs bedroom, my baby was sleeping for seven hours! He was happy, he was amazing, we were all happy, and thirteen years later, he's the best, smartest, loveliest kid imaginable. No trauma that I can see.

I could never do this. ad kan.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 3:07 pm
amother [ Raspberry ] wrote:
In a very similar boat. I’m starting medication today- I was hesitant cuz really what I need is sleep but if it will make me extra calm maybe I’ll be able to just sleep quicker when I have the chance or handle the sleeplessness better? Idk.

My toddler that’s 3 got easier around 16 months but yes high strung kids are hard. They’re heaven but you can’t compare them to regular babies- I’ve never gone out with my husband alone since having my older one (we had one wedding and the babysitters mother had to come help her - she was an experienced 25 year old and refused to come again obviously).

I have lots of daytime help also. Can’t really afford it but oh well.

high strung is the right word. another child of mine who is right now my most challenging child was this way as a baby too. my others bh were and are tamer.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 3:14 pm
I am so sorry. You are suffering so much. Your baby is suffering so much.
Is there a history or reflux?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:43 pm
ra_mom wrote:
I am so sorry. You are suffering so much. Your baby is suffering so much.
Is there a history or reflux?
no, was at doc to check her out at 3 months, 3.5, and 4.25 months. (also due to pressure from a close relative who claimed she was probably underweight and possibly hungry.) diagnosis? colic. yay.
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amother
Burntblack


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I could never do this. ad kan.


I mean, okay then. Then you're actually surviving, and it's not as bad as you say. So you're going to have to cope with sleep deprivation, or pay a night nurse until the baby grows out of it.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 4:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'd love to have a babysitter for her but it's almost impossible to find someone decent around here. she had been to a babysitter earlier but that babysitter is now on maternity leave. (also the coming and going to and from babysitter messed with her schedule, like if she was napping but it was time to go.)


I mean someone who comes to your house so you don’t have to go anywhere and who will clean if/when baby naps. Can you enlist a friend to help you find someone? Could be a cleaning person who also does childcare.
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amother
Cappuccino


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 5:57 pm
I had babies like this and developed PPD. Lack of sleep and constant crying does that. I have no brilliant idea about how I would have done it differently - some I nursed, some I didn't, I tried everything and nothing helped but nowadays, I would hire a sleep coach and get my dh to help more.

Wishing you hatzlacha and nachas- hire a sleep coach.
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amother
Forsythia


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:36 pm
SLEEP. COACH.

48 hours of hell and then you've got the tools you need forever and a baby that is happier and also gets some sleep.

BTDT with my 4mo DS 2 weeks ago.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
no, was at doc to check her out at 3 months, 3.5, and 4.25 months. (also due to pressure from a close relative who claimed she was probably underweight and possibly hungry.) diagnosis? colic. yay.

I'm sorry! Hug
Was that an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist?
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amother
Clover


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:42 pm
I disagree that it’s just sleep deprivation. You sound like you at least have postpartum anxiety. I had similar symptoms.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:46 pm
amother [ Clover ] wrote:
I disagree that it’s just sleep deprivation. You sound like you at least have postpartum anxiety. I had similar symptoms.


Oh. My. God. If OP isn't getting more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row day or night then I don't know how anyone could diagnose a mental health issue. I promise anyone who doesn't get a solid block of 4 hours for six months in a row is going to show all kinds of symptoms that look like depression, anxiety, etc. Until OP can actually get a solid block of sleep she can't know if there's also ppd. OP needs sleep. Like every other human on the planet.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 6:48 pm
amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:
SLEEP. COACH.

48 hours of hell and then you've got the tools you need forever and a baby that is happier and also gets some sleep.

BTDT with my 4mo DS 2 weeks ago.

what does that mean?
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