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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
I feel terrible.



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:20 am
I mistakenly served my husband a milchig dessert after a fleishing supper last night.

I only realized this morning that the chocolate I used was milchig. (It doesn't affect any of my pots). Only he was affected since he ate leftover cholent.

Is there a point in telling him, or there is no point since there is nothing to do? Sad


I wanted to put this under halachic discussions but it's not anon enabled.
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English3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:23 am
I would ask a rav, no need to identify yourself.
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Odelyah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:25 am
Are you sure it was even milchig and not just dairy equipment? Either way I probably wouldn’t say anything.
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:29 am
It depends what you would accomplish by saying it? If it will prevent you from doing it next time, then I would say it. As in, your dh will double check with you when you serve him ice cream if it's the parve one.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:29 am
I would definitely tell him.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:30 am
I'd probably say because otherwise I'd feel like I was hiding something from my partner. It was an honest mistake. I know others might feel different but for me a cover-up here would be worse than the "crime".
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:50 am
WhatFor wrote:
I'd probably say because otherwise I'd feel like I was hiding something from my partner. It was an honest mistake. I know others might feel different but for me a cover-up here would be worse than the "crime".


Yep.

And he might want to do a tikkun- you need to give him the chance. When something like this happened by us, our rav told us to make a goal for ourselves about not speaking lashon hara or the like- basically, watch what comes out of our mouths as a tikkun for what we put in. Although for us, it was actually something not kosher.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:23 am
I think you do need to tell him. If He did an aveira by accident he should know so that he can do some teshuva. It was meant for him to transgress in this manner so he could get something out of it.

I feel for you OP. I can imagine how difficulty this must be.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 2:57 pm
Right so I was thinking the reason to tell him is so he could do teshuva, even though he was totally blameless. Really I have to do teshuva.

I should have been more careful. I realized what happened. In the store I was looking for this item and I asked the owner. He gave me something similar and said, "its Paszkesz" and in my mind, I heard "its parve". ( That's what happens when your mind is in overdrive).

I checked it today because I wanted to see if I can give it to my baby who has allergies. I always check any food I give him . And thats when I saw that it says contains dairy.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 05 2021, 3:01 pm
Odelyah wrote:
Are you sure it was even milchig and not just dairy equipment? Either way I probably wouldn’t say anything.


The "dessert " was something I made with the kids. We took chocolate lentils and put them into those Push pop things. Then we poured melted chocolate on top. (I made sure that the chocolate was parve). Then after you freeze it, you push out the chocolate. It was fun to make and then the kids ate it after supper.

Anyway, usually chocolate lentils are parve. But these chocolate lentils were milchig.
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