Please help me with my toddler...ANY advice appreciated

amother

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 12:09 pm

My adorable DD4 has become a nightmare at night. Putting to bed and throughout the night. We have a whole bedtime routine but as soon as its time for me to leave she has every excuse why she needs to be out of bed; I'm hungry, I don't like my bed, my covers fell off put them back on me. If I try to give her what she is asking then she will go to "I'm not tired." It comes to a point that I seriously to yell at her to go back to bed.
It has become so stressful.
Then she will wake up in the middle of night and also demand a whole bunch of things. Multiple times.
Any advice?

baltomom

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 12:21 pm

If this is something new, is it possible she has developed fears (of the dark/being alone/something like that)? If so, you can work on the fear. For example, put a nightlight in the room if she's scared of the dark. If she's scared of being alone, you can walk around the house at bedtime, having her kiss all the mezuzos, and tell her the mezuzah reminds us that Hashem is watching us. Emphasize the one at her bedroom door, "Hashem is watching you when you sleep tonight." Also sing Shema with her and tell her that Hashem is watching her. (Maybe say at the end, "Hashem, please help Sarala sleep well in her bed tonight.")

Other ideas: make a chart where she gets a smiley/star every morning if she went to bed nicely and stay in her bed. Have her earn points towards something she really wants (probably start with a small number of points for something small and a large number of points for something bigger--I've done 40 points to get ears pierced if we were ready to do that). Make a big deal when she goes to sleep nicely and stays in her bed (mitzvah note, etc).

Good luck!

SuperWify

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 12:27 pm

My son is just like that. Also 4 years old. He sometimes gets up in the middle of the night and takes hours to go back to sleep.

After 4 years of interrupted sleep… I’ve just learn to except that he’s just not a good sleeper.

Putting to bed- we give melatonin at the advice of his pediatrician. Bedtime story and Shema together.

staying in bed- we take turns playing police. Literally. With the help of the melatonin he will usually fall asleep.

Not coming in the middle of the night- if he stays in bed all night he gets a small prize in the morning

I also try very hard to stick to a bedtime. Late nights mess him up. And no naps during the day.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 12:29 pm

Is her bedtime too early? She might really not be tired yet.

Is she allowed to read or play quietly in bed until she falls asleep?

Maybe she would stay in bed nicely if she can listen to soft music or audiobooks?

I have a little girl who used to come out of bed for all sorts of excuses. We solved some of them by letting her keep a few things near her bed, like a box of tissues, a chapstick, a stack of books, and a small bottle of water and she doesn't need to ask for permission to go to the bathroom if she needs to. I also gave her a kind of hall pass. She's allowed to come out of bed once a night for whatever she needs without getting into trouble, but that's it. So if she suddenly remembers that she left a stuffed animal downstairs or she wants an ice pack for an imaginary booboo or a bandaid for an invisible scratch, she can come out once to get it and that's it.

amother

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 2:10 pm

We've tried everything. Putting her in later, earlier, leaving hall light on, stickers, charts you name it.
I think the problem is between her being lonely (she likes being around people, mostly me) and not being able to calm her body down.

#BestBubby

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 2:20 pm

Maybe letting her listen to a CD?

Hang a bag with a 5 yummy candies in it outside her door.

Every time she comes out, you remove a candy.

In the morning she can have the candies that are left.

amother

Tue, Jul 06 2021, 8:33 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Maybe letting her listen to a CD?

Hang a bag with a 5 yummy candies in it outside her door.

Every time she comes out, you remove a candy.

In the morning she can have the candies that are left.

I tried this tonight and it worked!! Thank you bestbubby! You really are the best! She did not come out once. She read some books in her room and then fell asleep! I told her if she needs anything she can call me and I'll come to her.
Hopefully tomorrow will be the same Wink