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Destroying the house
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:14 pm
We have a very small apartment so just dumping one toy takes up the entire living room. Oh boy, not sure if I'm happy this is normal or nervous. How do you teach them to respect their space and belongings? They always help clean up after because I don't let them leave without cleaning up but how can I slowly get them to ease out of this madness?
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Ok you made me feel marginally better because I'm not suffering alone. But how do you survive this? I can't function in messes, my head spins when everything is everywhere. And how do you keep them safe while you nurse? I nurse on the couch and hear them shredding toilet paper into the toilet or climbing the not so sturdy changing table and I feel like I just have to daven they survive the 15 minute feeding because there's really nothing I can do.


My toilet doors are locked. All room doors besides for the playroom are locked. All cabinets besides for the one's I don't care if they unpack are locked. I learnt that the mess shouldn't bother me, I clean up when they go to bed. When we have toddlers at home, we can't expect to have a clean organized house all day long.
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:17 pm
amother [ Crystal ] wrote:
I'm surprised at how many ppl think it's normal.
Toddlers are mischievous by nature but it's our job as mother to teach them what's acceptable and what's not!


It's very important to let toddlers be toddlers and explore and be mischievous in an age appropriate way. Whatever I don't want touched, is out of their reach.
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We have a very small apartment so just dumping one toy takes up the entire living room. Oh boy, not sure if I'm happy this is normal or nervous. How do you teach them to respect their space and belongings? They always help clean up after because I don't let them leave without cleaning up but how can I slowly get them to ease out of this madness?


Toys isn't dirt. My entire house is littered with toys all over. I don't care. At night we clean up together, it doesn't take that long.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:19 pm
Another mother here whose kids also destroy the house. I just try to lock away as much as possible to avoid as little destruction as possible.
My kitchen, dining room are all locked unless there's an adult there. My toys are in a locked cupboard, so there's only the amount of toys I allow at any one time. My shampoos, showergels etc are all kept up high to avoid children having fun.
A lot of what I do is learnt from unfortunate experience. If they manage to destroy something, I try and ensure it can't happen again.
Some stuff, like toilet paper, I have to have and I just chalk it up to part of the cost. When I was feeding (my baby is over 2 now), I would sit my older ones down with a snack and a drink first, which would buy me a few minutes, then I would hope they would behave.
Lock away as much as you can, and make sure there's as little 'danger' as you can. Tearing toilet paper is annoying, but it won't harm them. Being able to get into my kitchen and touch my stove or sharp knives is dangerous.
Hatzlocha op, and everyone else. My kids are a little older now and aren't as bad as they used to be, so there is hope it will pass.
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We have a very small apartment so just dumping one toy takes up the entire living room. Oh boy, not sure if I'm happy this is normal or nervous. How do you teach them to respect their space and belongings? They always help clean up after because I don't let them leave without cleaning up but how can I slowly get them to ease out of this madness?


Keep it up. Make cleanup into a game, and into fun together-time with with you. And when you've said the same thing for the 2000th time and you're blue in the face, they'll suddenly turn 5 years old and mellow out.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 12:34 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
Another mother here whose kids also destroy the house. I just try to lock away as much as possible to avoid as little destruction as possible.
My kitchen, dining room are all locked unless there's an adult there. My toys are in a locked cupboard, so there's only the amount of toys I allow at any one time. My shampoos, showergels etc are all kept up high to avoid children having fun.
A lot of what I do is learnt from unfortunate experience. If they manage to destroy something, I try and ensure it can't happen again.
Some stuff, like toilet paper, I have to have and I just chalk it up to part of the cost. When I was feeding (my baby is over 2 now), I would sit my older ones down with a snack and a drink first, which would buy me a few minutes, then I would hope they would behave.
Lock away as much as you can, and make sure there's as little 'danger' as you can. Tearing toilet paper is annoying, but it won't harm them. Being able to get into my kitchen and touch my stove or sharp knives is dangerous.
Hatzlocha op, and everyone else. My kids are a little older now and aren't as bad as they used to be, so there is hope it will pass.


The bathroom has to be accessible to my toilet trained 3 year old so I can't lock it though we do keep it closed so 2 year old can't open it alone. That's another issue, he goes in to use the bathroom and little sister comes with him and there goes that.
Can't lock the kitchen and dining room, that's basically our whole apartment. It's tiny, there's nowhere to go. My cabinets and drawers are child proof but I physically don't have space to lock every single thing away
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observer




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:27 pm
Can you use baby gates to block off rooms? Even if the kids can open it, it buys you some time!
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is it normal for toddlers to be so destructive? How am I supposed to handle this? My 3 year old and 2 year old are partners in crime, they do crazy things together and hype each other up. From when they woke up til they left to playgroup, my 3 year old dumped a basket of the baby's clothes and threw them all over my room, my 2 year old dumped out a bowl of cereal and milk onto the table and climbed ok the table to throw soggy cereal to the floor, they dumped a laundry hamper and somehow got their hands on my laptop and broke a key. Is this normal? How do people live like this? What can I do?


I haven't had a toddler in a long time, but I think I was always watching them closely every second to prevent any mischief. It was very difficult.
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The bathroom has to be accessible to my toilet trained 3 year old so I can't lock it though we do keep it closed so 2 year old can't open it alone. That's another issue, he goes in to use the bathroom and little sister comes with him and there goes that.
Can't lock the kitchen and dining room, that's basically our whole apartment. It's tiny, there's nowhere to go. My cabinets and drawers are child proof but I physically don't have space to lock every single thing away



Don’t show much reaction or they’ll do it even more for attention .
Maybe keep your bedroom door locked when not in use and keep expensive important stuff there, that’s what I did when kids were that age and I didn’t do housework or much work lol with the kids around or they just got up to even more trouble
It’s called terrible twos for a reason Wink normal toddler behavior One day you’ll look back and laugh hang in there Smile
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:32 pm
amother [ Winterberry ] wrote:
Yes, it's normal toddler behavior. Whatever I don't want destroyed, is put out of toddlers reach.


Each tall piece of my furniture hosted some electronics, sticks, swords, etc. It looked interesting...
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:34 pm
When my kids were that age I had all bedrooms locked when they were home and up. And I was in a small apartment too. All cabinets were child proof ofcourse. And in the bathroom there was nothing to access at their level except the toilet.
With my others I find there’s much less trouble if there’s no partner in crime.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:37 pm
imaima wrote:
Each tall piece of my furniture hosted some electronics, sticks, swords, etc. It looked interesting...


Swords?
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:37 pm
imaima wrote:
Each tall piece of my furniture hosted some electronics, sticks, swords, etc. It looked interesting...


Same !!! Laugh
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:39 pm
Elfrida wrote:
Swords?


In our case bubble swords but there’s Purim swords and I’m sure others .. all sorts of toys these days
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amother




Glitter
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 1:48 pm
Elfrida wrote:
Swords?

My three and five year olds were running around with light up swords yesterday waving them around. They learned a new word: lightsabers.
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amother




Brown
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 4:40 pm
amother [ Seashell ] wrote:
Depends what you're referring to. Breaking a laptop is one thing (honestly, I would just keep it out of reach)
But dumping baskets of clothing is totally developmentally appropriate.

A three year old dumping baskets of clothing might be somewhat normal, but at this age they do know better. They might not always have the self control not to do it, but it should certainly not be a dayly occurence. Healthy toddlers will often be wild and mischevious, thats normal. But destructive behaviour should get a consequence. You can teach them what is absolutely not ok (throwing soggy cereal, breaking laptops ,throwing clean laundry), and the regular wild behaviour you just let them be until they grow out of it.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 4:48 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
A three year old dumping baskets of clothing might be somewhat normal, but at this age they do know better. They might not always have the self control not to do it, but it should certainly not be a dayly occurence. Healthy toddlers will often be wild and mischevious, thats normal. But destructive behaviour should get a consequence. You can teach them what is absolutely not ok (throwing soggy cereal, breaking laptops ,throwing clean laundry), and the regular wild behaviour you just let them be until they grow out of it.


A 3 year old has a lot more self control than a 2 year old
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jul 08 2021, 6:42 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
A three year old dumping baskets of clothing might be somewhat normal, but at this age they do know better. They might not always have the self control not to do it, but it should certainly not be a dayly occurence. Healthy toddlers will often be wild and mischevious, thats normal. But destructive behaviour should get a consequence. You can teach them what is absolutely not ok (throwing soggy cereal, breaking laptops ,throwing clean laundry), and the regular wild behaviour you just let them be until they grow out of it.


The issue is that they egg each other on. I think if they wouldn't have each other then they wouldn't do it as often but they make each other laugh every time they make a mess and when I talk to them they just laugh together, they're really quite the pair.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jul 09 2021, 6:48 am
I have a friend who's 14 month old absolutely knows right from wrong!

She'll go to something she's not supposed to do, like pull seforim off of the book shelf. Then she'll make sure you're looking, and give you this HUGE grin, with the most devilish gleam in her eyes.

If you tell her "Leah, no no no!" She'll say "no-no", and pull the seforim out.

Don't tell me little kids don't know what they're doing!
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