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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
Have You been to/heard of a weekday kiddush?
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| No |
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[ 90 ] |
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| Total Votes : 139 |
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:11 pm
Well here goes.
I’m a few months pregnant BH and just found out I’m having a girl.
I have one girl and a boy already and I actually loved the vacht nacht and bris with my boy because I got to be a part of the Simcha and be a baalas Simcha.
With my girl my husband just did a kiddush in shul and I was home alone and that was the end of the Simcha.
There are so many reasons I want to celebrate this birth iyh we’ve been through a lot and I feel like celebrating and being a part of the Simcha after all - I am the one giving birth.
I’m also due in the winter so shabbat is short and having a huge big kiddush in our house will not work with timing and what not. So I thought we could do a party / kiddush during the week. I have friends who hve done it but not in the tri state area and I want to know how weird/crazy will people think I am?
It won’t be fancy or crazy ott just a nice Sunday brunch/weekday evening where our friends and family (both men & women) will be invited to share our Simcha and celebrate with us. In lieu of a vacht nacht/bris.
What are your thoughts and how would you make such a Simcha? Looking for all ideas and opinions (just try keep them friendly, I’m a hormonal pregnant lady after all  )
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amother
Bellflower
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:16 pm
Not a kiddush but definitely a simchat bat on a Sunday. For sure
Eta we made kiddush in shul for our daughter the first shabbos she was born (day 6 of life) which was on shabbos Chanukah; the baby and I both went. It was a beautiful and special simcha. Obv this is prohibitive if you don’t have an eruv
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amother
Amber
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:18 pm
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I never heard of a weekday kiddush for a girl. I made a kiddush at home for my girls.
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cozyblanket
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:19 pm
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Does your community only have the kiddush the first week? If you're due in the winter, I would suggest a March Kiddush. Then you can go and enjoy.
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amother
Iris
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:19 pm
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I attended a melaveh malka kiddush/Simchas bas
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amother
Taupe
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:24 pm
I've been invited to a weekday kiddush, in my community we do it the first Monday, Thursday or Shabbos after the baby is born.
Both my daughters was on Shabbos after they were born though, as it worked better for us.
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Notsobusy
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 9:50 pm
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I also attended a melava malka baby girl kiddush, right here in Lakewood. It was a little different, but nobody cared.
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amother
Stone
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:03 pm
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When I was newly married, I was walking with my husband one night, and his friend or relative of friend called us in for a vachnacht, we both went inside. Then I went upstairs to the kimp to tell her mazel tov & Lein krias shma, baby was dressed in pink, and woman was laughing that It's a girl. Her husband wasn't satisfied with a shabbos kiddush, because it was rushy, baby born right before shabbos & wanted to party in style. Made a vachnacht style party & invited all his friends over. It was weird.
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oneofakind
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:21 pm
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I've heard of danishes/doughnuts and even bagels and fish platters when a baby girl is named on a Monday or Thursday.
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amother
Blonde
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:37 pm
I have a neighbor who just did a simchas bas/kiddush on a sunday.
Personally my baby was born in February and I am iyh making a big kiddush in 2 weeks for her. You can make a kiddush whenever you are up to it. I am making it at home and having many relatives come for it iyh.
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amother
Pewter
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:49 pm
We made a Sunday Simchat Bat when my DD was 6 weeks old.
She was smiling and I was human-ish.
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amother
Powderblue
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:55 pm
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When my oldest dd was born dh was determined to throw a huge party. I was one week pp and my parents hosted my in-laws and all my sibs in law. I was FUMING. It was tons of work for my mother and I hated every second. I needed space so badly and I was being stifled by sooo many family members. By 2nd dd I told dh I don’t want a kiddish and he said np, his father drove in when she was 2 days old for the naming (a Monday) dh brought donuts to shul and that was that. My recovery was worlds apart ...
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amother
Seashell
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:01 pm
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I did that. (In addition to sponsoring the kiddush in shul that week which was the regular weekly kiddush, men only, nothing fancy or added.)
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amother
Bellflower
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:03 pm
| amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | | When my oldest dd was born dh was determined to throw a huge party. I was one week pp and my parents hosted my in-laws and all my sibs in law. I was FUMING. It was tons of work for my mother and I hated every second. I needed space so badly and I was being stifled by sooo many family members. By 2nd dd I told dh I don’t want a kiddish and he said np, his father drove in when she was 2 days old for the naming (a Monday) dh brought donuts to shul and that was that. My recovery was worlds apart ... |
How is a kiddish one week pp different than a Bris ? (Or do you not have boys?)
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:04 pm
| amother [ Pewter ] wrote: | We made a Sunday Simchat Bat when my DD was 6 weeks old.
She was smiling and I was human-ish. |
So this is the kinda thing I want to do.
We live in a more heimish/chasidsh area so women don’t really go to shul not to mention most of our family and friends don’t live in the immediate/walking distance area so I feel like naming the baby can be a small L’Chaim sort of thing and then we can do a simchas bas event where we all get to enjoy it.
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amother
Seashell
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:07 pm
| amother [ Bellflower ] wrote: | | How is a kiddish one week pp different than a Bris ? (Or do you not have boys?) |
Hosting for Shabbos is different than showing up in a shul for one hour.
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amother
Bellflower
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:10 pm
| amother [ Seashell ] wrote: | | Hosting for Shabbos is different than showing up in a shul for one hour. |
I didn’t get from the post that you hosted people at your home over shabbos, my bad. The hosting was provably more the issue than the kiddish. My parents came for the shabbos of my baby’s kiddish but they brought the food so it wasn’t too much work.
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amother
Seashell
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:12 pm
| amother [ Bellflower ] wrote: | | I didn’t get from the post that you hosted people at your home over shabbos, my bad. The hosting was provably more the issue than the kiddish. My parents came for the shabbos of my baby’s kiddish but they brought the food so it wasn’t too much work. |
That poster wrote that her mother hosted her in laws etc and that she felt stifled and like she needed space. I can relate! We did not do a Shabbos kiddush for precisely that reason- I didn’t want to invite little nieces and nephews, I needed my quiet and sleep and peace. Instead we sponsored the weekly men’s kiddush and made a Sunday brunch - everyone was in and out.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:19 pm
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My friend made a Motze Shabbos kiddush 2 weeks after her daughter was born (tri state area). I thought it was a brilliant idea. It's very not typical but I think it's cool.
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amother
Moccasin
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Tue, Jul 13 2021, 12:50 am
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My daughter's kiddush was the first Thursday after she was born, in a shul, pretty small.
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