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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
timeout
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 Mon, Oct 10 2005, 4:53 pm
I left a message for my sons Kindergarten teacher to call me becuase I was wondering how things are going and I was a little worried about numerous bruises he was coming home with. One small sidepoint my son has a SEIT teacher in the classroom.
She called me back very promptly but at least on my end of the phone she just didn't sound very enthusiastic. When I told her how much my son enjoyed school and was so excited to bring home projects she said the right words like that's great but didn't say it with any real conviction behind it.
When I asked her about the bruising at first she said that she didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but when I told her that my son goes to Shul with a specific child she asked me why I would want to nourish a fiendship with this boy because they can be wild together and they roughhouse that's where he's getting the bruises.
I was waiting to hear "he's a pleasure to have in class" or something really positive and now that I'm off the phone I just feel upset 
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Tefila
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 4:56 pm
| Quote: | | why I would want to nourish a fiendship with this boy because they can be wild together and they roughhouse that's where he's getting the bruises |
What did she say wrong if it's true then you should Thank her for bringing this to your attention, no ? 
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timeout
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 5:00 pm
it's not really what she said but how she said it, I know it sounds wierd but the teacher made it sound like my son was an extra burden.
I asked her about recess and she said I don't watch him then the Shadow does and I always send home notes when a child gets a bruise.
The boy she was speaking about is the only boy in the neighborhood from my sons class we live in Boro Park and everyone else basically lives in Flatbush or in between.
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TzenaRena
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 5:34 pm
timeout, I know what you mean. We are b"h blessed with a precious little boy who adds so much joy to our life. But in school, he is almost a number, 1 of 25 kids.
I can't believe when his teacher doesn't notice anything special about him, when we could write a book with all his little chochma'lach. He used to come home in Pre1A complaining that certain kids were starting up with him. The teacher at that time never noticed anything.
It doesn't matter that you call about a specific problem, you do expect the teacher to know and care about your child in general, not just relate to a problem he has.
It just hurts to think that the teacher doesn't have any feeling, warmth or love for your child. I definitely take this personally!
I contrast that with the kind of PTA reports I used to get when my daughter was little. The teacher always made some kind comments that showed that she was paying attention to my daughter as an individual, and that she appreciated her unique personality and talents.
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Rivk
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 6:19 pm
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Maybe the teacher just had a bad day? You never know what is going on in her life to make her sound like that. Maybe she is usually more enthusiastic and personable?
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timeout
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 7:34 pm
Actually Rivk at orientation she was even less enthusiastic and when I spoke to her for a few minutes about my son just to let her know that he needs to drink alot she already gave me a funny feeling but my husband told me give her the benefit of the doubt it was her first day so I did!
This is the first time I'm calling her but I have sent her quite a few notes to which she has never responded about bruises and lost notes that I asked be sent home again.
I'm really trying it's my sons first year in Yeshiva and my first child in school. I grew up out of town in Philadelphia so I'm just used to a different type of chinuch I guess 
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stem
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 7:41 pm
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Is the principal approachable? I would call her if you have concerns about a teacher.
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timeout
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 7:49 pm
Principle is a man who was very nice at our original interview than after my son was in already and he started school I pushed for a SEIT teacher to be allowed and I don't know how he feels about us now? 
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MMEC123
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 8:07 pm
I'll try to give you the teacher's perspecitve (since that's the only one I know right now).
I actually had a similar situation- a mother came to me at open school night and I just quickly said "he's sweet, I'll call you at home to touch base". I didn't want to answer there because other parents were standing very close by. I called her at home and she said she was taken aback that me and his other teacher seemed "unenthusiastic". Truly, I meant nothing by it, I'm not a very outgoing person so what is enthusiastic for me, may not be for others. As a side point- many teachers (ESPECIALLY in preschool) are actually quiet, shy people around adults (that's why we're teaching the little ones!!) and we're kind of intimidated. Maybe we MEANT to say it and somehow while being nervous on the phone, it came out wrong.
I would certainly ask the teacher again. I know I feel that having open communication is SOO important. Also, chances are, since you brought up the issue- the teacher will tend to notice it more. Call her again a week or two after Y"T and ask the same question again. I'd like to guess that you'll get a better answer.
Regarding the numbers- I used to teach in small schools with 15 or so students. Now I have more than 20!! At first I was shocked and scared that I wouldn't be able to connect with each student and really get to know them. But I see it's happening, it just takes more time. But certainly by the time it's just 1 or 2 weeks after Succos and things are settled, the teacher has no reason (and no excuse!) not to know each student personally and well enough to answer any mommy's concerns!
Just my two cents from "the other side".
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lucky
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Mon, Oct 10 2005, 11:39 pm
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Excuse my ignorance, but what is a SEIT teacher?
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imaamy
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Tue, Oct 11 2005, 12:38 am
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Lucky I don't know either but I assume Special Ed something.
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Mandy
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Tue, Oct 11 2005, 7:23 am
| Quote: | | As a side point- many teachers (ESPECIALLY in preschool) are actually quiet, shy people around adults (that's why we're teaching the little ones!!) and we're kind of intimidated |
good point.
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Purple Hug Bunny
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Sun, Oct 16 2005, 4:09 am
I was also wondering what SEIT is, but now that s/one mentioned special ed, I'm thinking Special Ed Itinerary Teacher, am I right?
I agree with Rivk that maybe she just had an off day, I would call her back after Sukkos and see if it's any different. and ask her how he is doing in general, don't be embarrased to ask, how he is doing in every aspect and see how it goes then.
Keep us updated.
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timeout
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Wed, Nov 02 2005, 10:34 am
Update................
I spoke to the teacher again and she reiterated the fact that I should not baby my child I.e. get him a cup when he asks for one 
I have decided to become involved in PTA and have spoke to the head of PTA who responded very enthusiastically that they need all the help they can get.
The teacher I still am not to sure about....I guess we'll see.
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Tefila
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Wed, Nov 02 2005, 4:18 pm
| Quote: | | As a side point- many teachers (ESPECIALLY in preschool) are actually quiet, shy people around adults (that's why we're teaching the little ones!!) and we're kind of intimidated |
Not true no blanket rule 
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MMEC123
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Wed, Nov 02 2005, 4:23 pm
| freilich wrote: | | Quote: | | As a side point- many teachers (ESPECIALLY in preschool) are actually quiet, shy people around adults (that's why we're teaching the little ones!!) and we're kind of intimidated |
Not true no blanket rule |
Right- that's why I didn't write "ALL", I wrote "many". And "many" are not shy, it's just something to consider.
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cindy324
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Wed, Nov 02 2005, 8:13 pm
Yeah Timeout ! Really now, quit turning him into a mama's boy 
LOL
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raizy
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Tue, Nov 08 2005, 9:20 pm
ask the teacher how on earth is he suppose to get a cup . climb up on the counters perhaps????
what on earth is a seit teacher. dont just give me the wording explain to me what they actually do in a classroom???
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timeout
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Wed, Nov 09 2005, 10:54 am
I didn't explain what SEIT is because for each child the teacher acts differently. For some kids the teacher acts like a shodow for others the teacher actually takes out the student for part of the day, and for severely disabled children the teacher sticks to them like glue all day.
For my son he does not have the patience for all lessons especially rest time he cannot lay sleep or sit for long periods.
During free play he also tends to get a little riled up and with 27 kids in teh class they don't have enough teacher per child ratio to handle a more active child like mine.
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raizy
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Fri, Nov 11 2005, 1:12 pm
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so timeout your son has a seit teacher. so that usally means that your son is not a regular kid to begin with . does the teacher know how to handle the sitation?? is she comfortable with it?maybe she hasnt come to terms with it.. maybe it is not your son maybe it is the teacher who cant handle the fact about your son??
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