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Do all therapists take your $ and leave you hanging?
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 7:01 pm
amother [ Poppy ] wrote:
Another therapist here. Last week I had to do something that I had never done before: Block a person's number. She was not even a client. She was a potential client who called for her kid. I did not think I was the right match for the case, but in order not to leave her 'hanging', I offered to make some phone calls and try to get her in touch with a therapist who would be a better fit for her child. Well, it got abused. I told this woman that it will take a few days for me to get back to her as I do some research in her behalf. I just got back from a 12 hour flight, and I was under the weather too. I still had to see my clients as soon as I got back in the States and tend to my family. It was a rough week. But even as I was not feeling well, I was making calls for her. This woman did not give me any space despite my being clear about needing several days to get back to her. She kept texting, and when I did not answer right away, she started calling. And then calling again. This was a complete lack of boundaries and was disruptive to the point that after several days of this, I had enough and had to block her. Just to be clear, I did give her periodical updates of calls I made and outcomes, but every time I texted her, she would respond with another question or comment. I realized then that even if I were initially considering taking her child on, with a mother like that, there is no way I would do it. It would be a nightmare. I choose my clients carefully, and in fact work mostly with adults because of situations like these that got abused. Some parents expected me to be in touch with their child's teacher (on my time, and the teacher's time). But when I would call them and say that I spoke to the teacher and I would like to invite them in for a session to discuss, they would try to get me to give them a free session on the phone. No, I do not work for free. This is what I do for a living, and my time and energy are not endless. This, however, does not mean that I do not deeply care about my clients. I do. But respect has to go both ways.
To OP -- I agree with those who said that you may not fully understand what is involved in the process of therapy, and that you expectation to get a free consolation is not realistic or fair. And no, you were not asking a simple question that takes two minutes to answer. You said you needed direction regarding an important decision. Well, if it is that important, and involves your child future, then do it the right way and schedule a consultation to discuss it.

It’s great that you set your boundaries and limits. It seems like therapists are the only professionals who are expected to work for free. It’s very upsetting.
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amother




Moccasin
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 7:10 pm
I often think of teachers who put in hours of work behind the scenes- both in prep and speaking to moms...
I often think of my husband - spending hours researching and perfecting his line of work - and speaking to customers- so that when you buy the item he produces it should be better and better...

Some people put in the extra effort and it makes a huge difference
I think it’s beautiful and I’m glad I found that therapist
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 7:49 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I reached out again.
Probably will get ignored
So frustrating to have to start again with someone else Mad
Almost like I just want to give up


I wouldn't allow this to continue. I would speak up. tell the therapist that you need someone who will be there for your questions and you will need to switch...
I really can't understand this. In my line of work we hold parents hands all the time!! and we don't get paid every time!! (but I guess it's different, it's a salaried position....)
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 7:57 pm
watergirl wrote:
It’s great that you set your boundaries and limits. It seems like therapists are the only professionals who are expected to work for free. It’s very upsetting.


What does it mean work for free? If someone is getting paid $150 for a 45 minute session is it so crazy to add in a few minutes of back and forth discussion for that price? I can guarantee you it won’t make you into a shmatte.
My son has an OT, PT, feeding therapist, every one of them will accept texts in between sessions to ask questions or give guidance. They aren’t working for free. They are getting paid for our weekly sessions and that includes what comes up in between.
I am a teacher, I am expected to spend hours of unpaid time talking to parents, meetings, etc.
Unpaid time is part of every professional job- it’s the opposite, seems like only therapists get held on a pedal still to not need to give anything beyond their sessions in many cases
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Coffee beanz




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 8:13 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
What does it mean work for free? If someone is getting paid $150 for a 45 minute session is it so crazy to add in a few minutes of back and forth discussion for that price? I can guarantee you it won’t make you into a shmatte.
My son has an OT, PT, feeding therapist, every one of them will accept texts in between sessions to ask questions or give guidance. They aren’t working for free. They are getting paid for our weekly sessions and that includes what comes up in between.
I am a teacher, I am expected to spend hours of unpaid time talking to parents, meetings, etc.
Unpaid time is part of every professional job- it’s the opposite, seems like only therapists get held on a pedal still to not need to give anything beyond their sessions in many cases

I am in a similar field to you and give of my time unpaid. while I hear your point I think therapists can be very prone to burnout because of the nature of their work. That being said my past therapists answered the occasional reasonable text and the one who did not was an overall less balanced more easily overwhelmed person but a great therapist. Everyone has pros and cons its about what works for the individual
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 8:33 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
What does it mean work for free? If someone is getting paid $150 for a 45 minute session is it so crazy to add in a few minutes of back and forth discussion for that price? I can guarantee you it won’t make you into a shmatte.
My son has an OT, PT, feeding therapist, every one of them will accept texts in between sessions to ask questions or give guidance. They aren’t working for free. They are getting paid for our weekly sessions and that includes what comes up in between.
I am a teacher, I am expected to spend hours of unpaid time talking to parents, meetings, etc.
Unpaid time is part of every professional job- it’s the opposite, seems like only therapists get held on a pedal still to not need to give anything beyond their sessions in many cases

A few minuets is fair and comes with the job. Thats not what people are talking about here. Also, The therapists that you are referring to in your post it’s not the same kind of therapy that we are discussing. Totally different fields and expectations with the job. A psychotherapy provider can set their own boundaries. A psychotherapist who works with kids needs to give the parent a brief rundown (3-5 mins) weekly And that time is usually the last five minutes of the session. More than that requires a separate dedicated appointment.
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amother




Ballota
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 8:33 pm
I'm a speech therapist (obviously different than a psychologist type therapist but my experience might be relevant anyway) in private practice. Some parents think that because I care about their child and am passionate about helping them, I should want to shmooze with the parent over the phone, for free, whenever something comes up that they have a question about. Their "just a quick question" convos turn into 20-40 minute talks and are total time sucks. Usually the "super important" question the parent had could easily have waited until our normal session. That's why I'm now strict about people needing to schedule time with me for talking, and I bill for it.

The other issue is that I've been burned in the past by parents who don't have good boundaries, who expect me to magically "fix" their child without them putting in the work I ask them to do, and who want me to tell them what to do about major life decisions. People love to ask me which schools they should send to and which neighborhoods they should move to. I'm not about to do that! That's not the role of a speech therapist! We have a scope of practice and we have to be careful not to veer into ethical gray areas. If some askan gives you advice and it doesn't work out, nothing happens to him. But if your therapist gives you advice and it doesn't work out, you might sue and their license and parnassah could be on the line. We carry insurance to mitigate the risk but there are no guarantees - some people are just not normal, unfortunately.

I wouldn't worry about the no response thing; I get a lot of texts and sometimes miss some of them. I see a ton of kids and you would be surprised at how many emails and texts there are to wade through.
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amother




DarkRed
 

Post Sun, Jul 25 2021, 8:35 am
Being in touch with parents should be expected when the child is a minor and the parent is paying.
Obviously everything they discussed doesn’t and shouldn’t be repeated but the general idea of what they are working on…
Unfortunately I have found that in Lakewood there is an over abundance of amateur social workers. Many just feel that if the child agrees to come and play some games together they are successful. I had a social worker watch YouTube videos with my child. I understand they are trying to build up trust and help the child relax but often they are not dealing with actual issues. The relaxing time and playing could go on for many months. I have not found this outside of Lakewood. I think it’s because so many young men and women in Lakewood have gone into the field as schooling is doable and the pay is decent. However even though they have become social workers, they are not trained well and have limited experience.
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amother




Moccasin
 

Post Sun, Jul 25 2021, 8:38 am
amother [ DarkRed ] wrote:
Being in touch with parents should be expected when the child is a minor and the parent is paying.
Obviously everything they discussed doesn’t and shouldn’t be repeated but the general idea of what they are working on…
Unfortunately I have found that in Lakewood there is an over abundance of amateur social workers. Many just feel that if the child agrees to come and play some games together they are successful. I had a social worker watch YouTube videos with my child. I understand they are trying to build up trust and help the child relax but often they are not dealing with actual issues. The relaxing time and playing could go on for many months. I have not found this outside of Lakewood. I think it’s because so many young men and women in Lakewood have gone into the field as schooling is doable and the pay is decent. However even though they have become social workers, they are not trained well and have limited experience.

And no passion for the field they went into-
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amother




DarkRed
 

Post Sun, Jul 25 2021, 9:30 am
amother [ Moccasin ] wrote:
And no passion for the field they went into-


Yes!!
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