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Crying it out
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 12:22 am
Both tonight and last night I tried to let 8 month old cry it out. I gave up after 1 hour each time and nursed him back to sleep. No, he wasn't hungry . Just venting.... this kid is so hard to sleep train.
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amother




Olive
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 12:27 am
You let your baby cry for an hour? Please tell me you kept going in to him every few minutes 😢
Sorry but I’m so against allowing babies to cry it out. Babies don’t need a perfect schedule, it isn’t natural.
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amother




NeonBlue
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 12:31 am
Crying it out dysregulates your baby's stress response and inhibits neuronal connections.

Babies are not capable of "self soothing"
If they are left to cry, they learn to shut down in the face of distress

Im so sorry you're going through sleepless nights. I am in the same boat. My 6 month old the past 2 nights has been up until 3 am crying and up at 5:30 AM. But I was there holding her and trying to calm her down.

Listen to your babys needs to be comforted.
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amother




Whitesmoke
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 12:40 am
You either have to stick with it or don't do it. If you really want to go through with it you can't give in after an hour and then try again the next night. It will be massively confusing to the baby. Like if only he cries long enough....

go in to comfort or whatever but don't be picking up and feeding. That's just my opinion. I did cry it out with mine and they are 100% fine and a well adjusted toddler and 5 year old.

They learned as babies that if they needed something at night I'd come in right away to pat their back, give them their pacifier, etc. but I just was not going to be picking them up and holding and rocking them the entire night. Just a few minutes ago my toddler called out to me. I went in right away. She wanted a drink. I gave her a drink, changed her diaper and she went calmly back to sleep. No trauma from cry it out when she was a baby and she knows I'm there for her.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:01 am
Sorry. These nights are rough.

Do you have a set bedtime or wait for sleepiness cues? I wait until baby is sleepy then put him down. If he cries, it is only for a couple minutes, or up to 10-15 minutes. Occasionally I fail and see he isn't going to sleep, so I go in and nurse. I also start much earlier than 8 months.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 2:49 am
My baby is 20 months & still wakes up in middle of the night for a formula bottle
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amother




Geranium
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 6:41 am
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
My baby is 20 months & still wakes up in middle of the night for a formula bottle


How do you know that’s what he wants? (And at that age, why formula? Why not milk (or even better in middle of the night: water!)
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amother




NeonOrange
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 6:56 am
That is really really heartbreaking that you would let your baby cry for an hour. There are gentler ways to get your baby to sleep, please please look into them.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:16 am
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
You let your baby cry for an hour? Please tell me you kept going in to him every few minutes 😢
Sorry but I’m so against allowing babies to cry it out. Babies don’t need a perfect schedule, it isn’t natural.


OP here, yes I calmed him down every 5 and then 10 minutes.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:19 am
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
Sorry. These nights are rough.

Do you have a set bedtime or wait for sleepiness cues? I wait until baby is sleepy then put him down. If he cries, it is only for a couple minutes, or up to 10-15 minutes. Occasionally I fail and see he isn't going to sleep, so I go in and nurse. I also start much earlier than 8 months.

Yes he goes to sleep nicely by himself at 830 every night. But will cry at 1 or 3 etc and only wants to nurse (human pacifier). He gets more upset if DH comes in. He used to sleep through the night.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:21 am
amother [ NeonOrange ] wrote:
That is really really heartbreaking that you would let your baby cry for an hour. There are gentler ways to get your baby to sleep, please please look into them.

He is 8 months old. I need to sleep to function. He should be sleeping through the night
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:22 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes he goes to sleep nicely by himself at 830 every night. But will cry at 1 or 3 etc and only wants to nurse (human pacifier). He gets more upset if DH comes in. He used to sleep through the night.

He also gets more upset if DH gives a bottle. He isnt hungry. He just wants me only. To nurse/paci him
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amother




DarkRed
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:24 am
Check out preciouslittlesleep.com

It is a great resource for all things sleep training related. Cryiong it out is a good method for some parents and babies but you need to be committed. Giving up after an hour is just confusing your baby. If this method doesn't work for you (I think you need to give it a solid 7-10 days) there are other options you can try.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:36 am
amother [ DarkRed ] wrote:
Check out preciouslittlesleep.com

It is a great resource for all things sleep training related. Cryiong it out is a good method for some parents and babies but you need to be committed. Giving up after an hour is just confusing your baby. If this method doesn't work for you (I think you need to give it a solid 7-10 days) there are other options you can try.


Ty
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:46 am
I didn't read the replies although I'm sure others have said this- please OP, do not let your baby 'cry it out'. This is an unhealthy tool that has proven to be very destructive and interferes with healthy attachment. The child stops crying not because they know how to self-soothe, but because they GIVE UP on their caregiver meeting their basic needs.
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amother




Glitter
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:05 am
I have been in your shoes, OP. I would try crying it out and then after an hour give up. It did not work for me.

What did work for me was to gradually decrease the amount of time I was feeding my baby by each session in middle of the night. I tried it a few times and it didn't work until my baby was 11 months, but my baby also wasn't eating solids well during the day. Once I was ready I dropped one feeding. After about a week or two I dropped the second feeding. Instead of nursing during that time I would lay in my bed with my baby cuddling against me until my baby would fall back asleep. After maybe 2 weeks, my baby stopped waking up in middle of the night on a regular basis. I did have to retrain my baby to fall asleep alone after that, but it was still worth it. And after a few weeks my baby started falling asleep alone again without me really following any set method. (I tried everything and nothing worked... eventually my baby just stopped the anxiety after my encouragement for a few weeks that I'm always there even if my baby doesn't see me.)
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amother




Offwhite
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:08 am
Did it w my son at 8 months as well. Sounds simliar to ur situation. He went to sleep fine, and trust me he did not need a bottle (very chunky good eater throughout the day) but yes he wanted to be soothed. It took about a wk and a half. Was really hard at times, But totally worth it. Hes 4 now- hes bh great boy, no repercussions to this method. He learned to sleep through the night and wake up happier. But agreed, unfortunately, you cannot do this, if you don't commit. Just giving in, will teach baby if he just keeps crying , you will come. Anyway I dont think most ppl here will support your decision, but if it helps you- I did it, it worked, I totally understand where your coming from. Only thing is I added a little bit of time btw each time I came in. And sometimes id switch w my husband in between shifts as well.
Hatzlacha!!
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:49 am
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
My baby is 20 months & still wakes up in middle of the night for a formula bottle


My 2 year old still wakes for a formula bottle every night. I don't see the big deal. It takes 2 minutes to get him a bottle and I'm back to sleep.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:51 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes he goes to sleep nicely by himself at 830 every night. But will cry at 1 or 3 etc and only wants to nurse (human pacifier). He gets more upset if DH comes in. He used to sleep through the night.


I don't get why it's such a big deal that an 8 month old can't wake once a night to nurse. It's normal for babies that used to sleep through the night to start waking again when they're older. Just nurse him and go back to sleep, I really don't get the big deal about it. If he'd be waking every 2-3 hours, that's an issue. But once a night???
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:53 am
amother [ Geranium ] wrote:
How do you know that’s what he wants? (And at that age, why formula? Why not milk (or even better in middle of the night: water!)


This is such a silly question. What do you mean how she knows that's what he wants? Many people still give formula at that age. My baby refuses anything else. We do what works for us.
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