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S/o Crying it out
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Poll

Are you anti-CIO (crying it out)? Are you anti-covid vaccine?
Anti CIO. Anti vaccine  
 19%  [ 38 ]
Pro CIO. Anti vaccine  
 6%  [ 12 ]
Anti CIO. Pro vaccine  
 44%  [ 85 ]
Pro CIO. Pro vaccine  
 16%  [ 31 ]
I just like taking polls. I dont relate to any above  
 7%  [ 14 ]
Other. Cant put me in a box!  
 5%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 191


amother




Peach
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:13 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
LISTEN EVERYONE!!! Stop telling her to take BC!!!

I have one child conceived thru IVF, with many prayers!!

and cannot function without sleep!!!!!!!

(Don't jump at me. Did not do CIO)


So because you did IVF we should all be having babies non stop even if we're not managing and falling apart and we should leave them to cry themselves to sleep? I don't get the correlation between your IVF and taking BC when we're not functioning.
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shaqued_almond




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:15 pm
Dr. Sears is not a reliable source. If you have a kid that can go to sleep without cio then just appreciate what you have instead of shaming other moms. You know why I had to use cio for my oldest? Because at the time my husband got into an accident and needed to be in a wheelchair. My husband needed to get up at nights and didn't want to wake the baby. You can't always predict the future. Meanwhile the one kid I didn't allow to cry is the worst sleeper and after trying everything else for almost three years, I'm considering starting cio with him. Not every child needs it, use it as a last resort.
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amother




Peach
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:16 pm
amother [ Celeste ] wrote:
Don’t tell anyone what the “easy way out is.” It’s condescending and presumes you know what the process was like for them, when you can’t possibly.

I say this as someone who did not do “cry it out” as you describe it, but a “gentler” form. I stand by the notion that all forms of sleep training are a form of cry it out. Essentially the baby gives up and goes to sleep. A little less crying, a little more crying, with the parent, without the parent. Maybe it makes something of a difference, I don’t think the difference is significant enough.

No, the conflict in this thread is about mothers who think they’re kinder and better because they wouldn’t allow their baby who they birthed to cry, versus mothers who are absolutely desperate for sleep and are willing to make the compromises. I say this as a trauma informed, attachment informed, emotionally aware and attuned parent. I have zero shame about doing what I need to for my household to function well for everyone involved. No mother should dare imply whether I’m ready for more children, or if I’m fit to be a mother.

The jury is out on the long term effects of sleep training. If that weren’t the case we wouldn’t be having this discussion. In the meantime, trust your instincts, your own research, and your own self-knowledge and not a bunch of anonymous sanctimonious naysayers on the internet. The AAP has conducted studies on sleep training and supports it; if you consider them a bunch of “old-fashioned pediatricians,” take that up with them and not mothers who are doing the best they can with the information they have.


There are other methods of sleep training besides for CIO. If we do sleep train, we should use the most gentle method as possible. It may involve some crying, but baby see's mom there and is being soothed.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:17 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
There are other methods of sleep training besides for CIO. If we do sleep train, we should use the most gentle method as possible. It may involve some crying, but baby see's mom there and is being soothed.



My babies always got much more upset when I came in with them and didn’t pick them up and feed them. Went from normal crying to shrieking.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:18 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
So because you did IVF we should all be having babies non stop even if we're not managing and falling apart and we should leave them to cry themselves to sleep? I don't get the correlation between your IVF and taking BC when we're not functioning.


We are functioning. We do CIO for two - three nights and then our babies sleep. And we are not sleeping during those hours when baby cries. We are crying and praying that baby should learn how to happily and comfortably sleep.
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amother




Navy
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:24 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
So because you did IVF we should all be having babies non stop even if we're not managing and falling apart and we should leave them to cry themselves to sleep? I don't get the correlation between your IVF and taking BC when we're not functioning.


Hi my dayan didn't allow bc and we function but I need more then 2 hours of sleep.
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amother




Ebony
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:28 pm
amother [ Heather ] wrote:
My babies always got much more upset when I came in with them and didn’t pick them up and feed them. Went from normal crying to shrieking.


Yeah. I don't allow endless crying and especially not if it's desperate shrieking. When I decide that the bedtime has failed, I go in and quietly nurse.

I don't get the idea of just going and hanging out with the baby. I guess that would work for some. I'm pretty sure I've never had a baby fall asleep by themself with me in the room. Unless I was lying down and even that was a struggle. I'm too distracting.
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sweet




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:32 pm
I would never let any of my babies cry.

I always nursed to sleep. And once I stopped nursing them I lay with them until they fall asleep.
Eventually they dont need me to lay with them anymore, 3- 4 years old.
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sweet




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:36 pm
I should also add that I have no prob. Co sleeping with my baby.
If they wake up in mid of night I dont always bring them back to the crib.
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amother




Ebony
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:37 pm
sweet wrote:
I should also add that I have no prob. Co sleeping with my baby.
If they wake up in mid of night I dont always bring them back to the crib.


Me too. I hate getting up at night, I feel it's safe to co-sleep under my circumstances, and that way we both fall quickly back to sleep.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:45 pm
amother [ Ebony ] wrote:
Me too. I hate getting up at night, I feel it's safe to co-sleep under my circumstances, and that way we both fall quickly back to sleep.


I once almost rolled over onto my baby. (To me, risk of suffocation ch’v is worse than CIO.) I also cannot sleep with a baby in my bed because my babies somehow take up ALL the space.
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amother




Peach
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:48 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Hi my dayan didn't allow bc and we function but I need more then 2 hours of sleep.


I've never heard of a dayan that doesn't allow BC for a mom that's falling apart. Even the most extreme dayan will allow it.
I wonder if anyone would ask a sheila about letting a baby cry themselves to sleep and what the answer would be.
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amother




Ebony
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:49 pm
amother [ Heather ] wrote:
I also cannot sleep with a baby in my bed because my babies somehow take up ALL the space.


Hahaha they totally do. But when I pick up a hungry, closed-eyes baby in the middle of the night, it's not that bad. When I hang out with the baby in the morning and turn away from him, he rolls himself until he's pressing into my back lolol.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:51 pm
amother [ Ebony ] wrote:
Hahaha they totally do. But when I pick up a hungry, closed-eyes baby in the middle of the night, it's not that bad. When I hang out with the baby in the morning and turn away from him, he rolls himself until he's pressing into my back lolol.


exactly. That’s when I almost rolled over onto my little baby. It’s no laughing matter.
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amother




Ebony
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:53 pm
amother [ Heather ] wrote:
exactly. That’s when I almost rolled over onto my little baby. It’s no laughing matter.


You turned away from your baby for sleep? You're not supposed to do that. Look up the Safe Sleep Seven. It's biologically normal to sleep with baby and it works. I don't understand all the science but it does. I only turn over when I'm awake and I check on the baby frequently as sometimes he does try to get himself into trouble. I do it because I'm not ready to get out of bed yet and my left side needs some air.

Sorry for laughing.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Wed, Jul 14 2021, 11:55 pm
amother [ Ebony ] wrote:
You turned away from your baby for sleep? You're not supposed to do that. Look up the Safe Sleep Seven. It's biologically normal to sleep with baby and it works. I don't understand all the science but it does. I only turn over when I'm awake and I check on the baby frequently as sometimes he does try to get himself into trouble. I do it because I'm not ready to get out of bed yet and my left side needs some air.

Sorry for laughing.


When I am sleeping I have no control over my body. I was in such a deep sleep, and I rolled over and was about to roll onto my baby when I miraculously thank You HaShem woke up.
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sweet




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 12:01 am
amother [ Heather ] wrote:
When I am sleeping I have no control over my body. I was in such a deep sleep, and I rolled over and was about to roll onto my baby when I miraculously thank You HaShem woke up.



I always find that you become ingrained to sleep on 1 side of the bed.
I Always put the baby near the wall. and it's the same way I dont roll off my bed..
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 12:06 am
45% are Anti-Cry it Out and Pro-Vaccine.

So it appears there is a correlation.

Being Anti-Cry-It-Out and Pro-Vaccine is following the mainstream "expert" opinions.
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amother




Steel
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 1:38 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
45% are Anti-Cry it Out and Pro-Vaccine.

So it appears there is a correlation.

Being Anti-Cry-It-Out and Pro-Vaccine is following the mainstream "expert" opinions.


NO NO NO.

I'm anti cio because it doesn't feel right to my yiddishe mother's heart. And it's considered safe in the medical world. Pro vax because that's the only way to protect the vulnerable population.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 2:09 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
So because you did IVF we should all be having babies non stop even if we're not managing and falling apart and we should leave them to cry themselves to sleep? I don't get the correlation between your IVF and taking BC when we're not functioning.


I'll tell you the correlation. I think babies are precious souls that need proper attention, from a loving mom that slept well. I did not say you or anyone else should or shouldn't take BC. I said to another amothers that they shouldn't tell women to go on BC because they decided them unhealthy for asking for sleep training tips.
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