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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
How horrible is it no not go to visiting day?



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:15 am
Ugh we live way OOT and our DD is at sleep away for the first time. The camp had told us there was no be no visiting day this summer BUT snow they just said there will be!!! They did say they will have fun activities for the kids on campus BUT since it’s a camp only located 2 hours from NYC I’m super worried she will be only one with no place to go. I didn’t ask my daughter how she feels yet because there is really nothing I can do is she says she will be sad. I didn’t tell her I was trying to figure it out but it really is impossible. I do not have family or friends who could go do it. What is visiting day really like at camp? If happens to be the change day between the two months.
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amother
Cantaloupe


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:17 am
If you can’t go, you can’t go.
Do send her a tremendous package filled with her favorite things and speak to the camp to make sure they give it to her specifically on that day.
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amother
Geranium


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:23 am
My parents sent me to a very NY camp and we lived in the midwest. I HATED visiting day. I was one for the few kids in camp that didnt have anything to do. Yes camp prepares something for the no visitor kids but those kids feel pathetic. If you are able to go I would definitely say to push yourself to go.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:29 am
Do you know any nearby parents who can take her out together with their daughter?
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:30 am
Don't the visitors come and go at different times during the day? I doubt your daughter will be completely friendless at any point in the day.

That said, it is a difficult day for the kids who don't get visitors.

I really dislike the officialness of visiting day. There are many parents who can't travel that far for a variety of reasons.

The worst part is, that for kids who find camp a relief from difficult circumstances back home, visiting day is another reminder of how different they are.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:39 am
If you can push yourself or figure it out, it’s really worth it. It’s horrible being at camp with no visitors, especially when most of the other girls have..

If it’s impossible I agree about the package but it will still be pretty hard for her, and I would exhaust every option before doing that
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amother
Pansy


 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:45 am
I used to go to our bungalow on visiting day and always took along friends and other girls that didn't have visitors. They'd hang at the pool and my mom would serve them lunch. Maybe she can find someone to go with.
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mommyla




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 12:34 pm
amother [ Geranium ] wrote:
My parents sent me to a very NY camp and we lived in the midwest. I HATED visiting day. I was one for the few kids in camp that didnt have anything to do. Yes camp prepares something for the no visitor kids but those kids feel pathetic. If you are able to go I would definitely say to push yourself to go.


I also didn't get visitors and I LOVED visiting day! I had the camp all to myself, maybe with a couple of friends. Didn't bother me at all. There was better food than usual, the pool was usually open (and empty) for a couple of hours, I got to do my laundry without sharing the machines... it was awesome.

That said, OP, I think there are a couple of factors that make a big difference, like your daughter's age and how well she adjusted to camp.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 8:10 pm
In my camp it didn't matter if you had a visitor another time, visiting day everyone was standing at the road & waiting for visitors
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mfb




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 8:27 pm
If you’re interested in sending a package there’s a very nice store called https://giftmagicians.com/ they deliver to camps so you can send her something special.
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shev143




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 15 2021, 11:43 pm
amother [ Pansy ] wrote:
I used to go to our bungalow on visiting day and always took along friends and other girls that didn't have visitors. They'd hang at the pool and my mom would serve them lunch. Maybe she can find someone to go with.


That is really special of your mom! 💕
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singsong




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 19 2021, 4:29 pm
My kids didn't get any visitors this year. We live a plane ride away and the camp is 4 hours away from NYC. They did just fine - they chilled in the quiet empty bunkhouse, went swimming, called all their friends that are home, etc.

When I was in camp as a child I didn't always get visitors. Some years I was invited to tag along with a friend's family or I was on my own.

I most certainly never felt "pathetic" for not having visitors, and neither did my kids.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Mon, Jul 19 2021, 8:54 pm
DD’s camp sent a visiting day letter saying that it’s okay if parents can’t come. They will have a program for the girls and the camp mother will take the girls with no visitors for pizza.
I hope I can go since it’s 3 hours away and it’s DD’s first time going to camp but it’s good to know that she’ll be looked after just in case.
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Zeleze




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 2:57 am
If your child sees other parents visiting, and his on the side crying where his are, then yes, you should go
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 3:12 am
It really depends on the age and personality of the child.

Is DD enjoying camp in all other aspects? If so, then it might not be so hard for her. If she has separation anxiety, or hasn't made any BFFs at the camp, then it will be a lot harder.

If she has a camp friend who is going to their parents, maybe you can contact those parents and ask if they could take in DD for the day. Send DD a care package to be shared with the host family, and a nice gift for the hostess.

Make sure that DD knows that you would absolutely love to see her, and you miss her very much, but a 2 hour ride each way is just not possible right now. You would if you could.

She may not be happy about it, but sometimes things like this happen. A little disappointment can build resilience if you handle it correctly. The fact that she was a little bit sad, and it didn't kill her, will make her a stronger kid.

If your DD is miserable at camp, then by all means visit. Just prepare that she might beg to go home with you, and cry a lot when you leave.
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