Did any of you know Julia Haart?

amother

Narcissus

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 3:57 pm

thanks wrote:

I do agree that most BY graduates choose certain career paths to give them a work/life balance, and for other reasons you mentioned. However, Julia bashed her education, and since bym is my Alma Matta, I can testify that most graduates scored higher on their regents and SATs than an average public school graduate.
There are social norms, but a woman who chooses something else, can deffinately do so. (to the exclusion of lingerie design, or other Hollywood style choices. But many secular jews and non-jews would frown upon those as well).

I agree.

If others disagree, Id like to hear which professions an observant woman cant go into and why.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 4:32 pm

thanks wrote:

Just FYI it's Alma Mater
[Mater from 'mother'] I.e. your school "raised" you

amother

Mustard

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 4:59 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

lol Duly noted.

Ok, so there was no specific psak given to you that this is muttar.

And the suggested way to deal with it is if someone doesn't like what you're doing that they should leave and stop talking about it.

So, if I think you're behaving contrary to torah openly, am I allowed to not consider you among my people and attack you? Am I allowed to draw that conclusion on my own??

Curious if you ask a specific psak every time you eat an apple just to make sure the Bracha is still haeitz? Because hilchos lashon hara are clear. They only apply to "amitecha". A Jew who publicly and defiantly breaks shabbos is not included in that. A Jew who makes a mockery of Jewish law and married a non Jew is not included in that. That's straight up halacha. That's not the same as someone wearing a skirt length you don't like or even someone who unintentionally breaks shabbos.

Likewise, someone who is making a chillul Hashem (in front of other Jews, let alone non Jews) needs to be loudly defied. As well as someone who had abandoned Yiddishkeit and is encouraging others too as well. The above two categories have the Halacha that you actively have to go against them.

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 5:06 pm

amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:

I agree.

If others disagree, Id like to hear which professions an observant woman cant go into and why.

Singer, dancer, actress, model, president. I mean, professional, working in a regular environment, not for frum audience only.

amother

Bone

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 5:20 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Singer, dancer, actress, model, president. I mean, professional, working in a regular environment, not for frum audience only.

https://www.heyalma.com/17-yea.....cene/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yael_Shelbia

https://www.abc.net.au/news/20.....08514

https://www.timesofisrael.com/.....rump/

https://www.kveller.com/9-surp.....wish/

amother

Magenta

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 5:59 pm

From the Netflix series, she doesn’t seem like somebody who was victimized or oppressed. She seems quite controlling and manipulative herself. She literally wants to influence (pretty much force) all her kids to take on her new lifestyle instead of accepting their opinions and choices.
It’s her choice if she wants to leave the religion, but why be so pushy about forcing all her opinions onto her kids?

amother

Bisque

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:08 pm

amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:

I agree.

If others disagree, Id like to hear which professions an observant woman cant go into and why.

Many, many. Many jobs ride on knowing the “right” people and in many fields you absolutely must be available to work on shabbos.

causemommysaid

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:11 pm

fmt4 wrote:

Lol this is ironic 🙈

It's really not that ironic. Autocorrect messes stuff up and sometimes people make spelling mistakes. Doesn't mean they had a bad education. (Yes, I know that wasn't a complete sentence. )

It's petty and b*tchy to make a comment like yours.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:13 pm

I went to Bais Kaila in Lakewood about 25 years ago. Teachers told us straight out that going to Touro college is ASSUR. I am one of very few college graduates in my graduating class and I have a pretty typical frum career (I have a masters and make a lot of money per hour BH). We were not encouraged or guided to pursue a career at all. We were told crazy things. But guess what? I realized we had some crazy teachers. I didn’t listen to them. Yes it’s unfortunate that we weren’t given the tools needed to pursue a career. But if I really want to place blame on my school, I definitely don’t think it reflects all of Orthodox Judaism. Also, things have change a lot since my day. So it’s possible Julia had a similar experience. To deny that this exists is wrong. But I still think what she did is terrible.

Crookshanks

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:33 pm

I don't think the worst thing she is doing is in regards to Yiddishkeit. We're all adults, we can handle criticism. I think the worst part of this is the way she treats her son. He joined her reality show starring as the "crazy religious teenager" so she can cry and yell at him Infront of camera crews and the world. The way she treats him is sick. Every time I think about him I want to cry. 14 year olds are tiny. Too disturbed by this to write more.
😨

amother

Purple

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:39 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Things have changed so much that a good learning boy won’t even go out with a girl unless she has a top notch degree. Social work, teachers… they’re not good enough.
It’s so completely the opposite nowadays, to the point that the girls are hyper focused on their careers.
I’m in your age bracket, went to college too, though it wasn’t a must in those days and have daughters now that age.
Super BY daughters (think BJJ type) they begin working on college credits in HS

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 6:43 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Yes BH things have changed. I was saying that the fact is that things were like that in some communities back then and it doesn’t help to deny it. And also that crazy teachers don’t equal a crazy religion. (BTW I’m a social worker and I make more per hour than any of my friends, so I’m not sure why that would not be considered a good career choice. Not only that but I’m home with my baby most of the time, aside for the few lucrative hours I work.)

Mevater

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 7:09 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

I think the worst part of this is the way she treats her son. He joined her reality show starring as the "crazy religious teenager" so she can cry and yell at him Infront of camera crews and the world. The way she treats him is sick. Every time I think about him I want to cry. 14 year olds are tiny. Too disturbed by this to write more.
😨

Extremely touching post because its so sad and so true.

I almost think she may tell him "Just pretend Im forcing you to leave religion. I want you to follow your heart. Im doing this for the moolah. Please play along".

amother

PlumPink

Fri, Jul 16 2021, 8:02 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Im around the same age as you. I know/knew a lot of girls/women from both of those schools. I grew up in Monsey and was friends with a lot of BY girls. And I went to seminary with about 10 BK girls and got to know many more once I got married and moved to Lakewood. BYM was very different from Bais Kaila. Most BK girls were from yeshiva families and so were most of the teachers. BYM families were mostly not yeshivish and many teachers also weren't. So you really can't compare your experience to hers.