Older child having hard time adjusting to new baby

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Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 1:44 am
My dd is the yr old and was an only child all these years. After a difficult pregnancy for which I was hospitalized for close to two weeks I recently had a baby who was in the NICU for several weeks. We are all home now and everyone is doing well BH. Dd couldn't meet the new baby until she came home from the hospital and couldn't see me either because of covid. Dd started crying when going to sleep last night about how difficult it was and how now we are so busy with the new baby and that she used to be my favorite ( I always said that to her because there were no others) and now she's not my favorite anymore...etc...

What can I do to make her feel better?
Is it appropriate for me to tell her she's still my favorite. By the time the new baby is old enough to understand that my older DD will be a teenager and won't care anymore...

Other than spending more alone time with older DD what can I do?

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Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:30 am
When one of my kids asks who’s my favorite I tell them they are, and quickly follow up with “you’re my favorite Shmuelly in the whole world” or “you’re my favorite Malky in the whole world,” etc. in a loving voice, sometimes with a kiss or a hug. And btw your kid WILL still care about this stuff when they’re a teen, even if they hide it better at that age.

I recommend snuggles and hanging out in your oldest’s room talking so they feel they have your attention again.
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Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:29 am
As you mentioned, spending quality time with just older dd is the best thing to do.
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Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 10:17 am
Validate her feelings that it’s a big adjustment and has been a hard few weeks for her. Let her feel how she feels.
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Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 10:21 am
She's your favorite big girl.
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